INTRODUCTION
The Man Who Makes Fun of Everything
I. THE FIRST THOUSAND SECONDS
You Say Contracting Out, I Say Union Busting…
Polymorph is Perverse
This Gall Bladder Operation is Brought to You By…
Sand Neutral and the Seven…Uhh…Uhh…
The New Old Ball Game
Further Conventional Coverage
Blessed are the Dealmakers
Minding Hollywood’s Business
Farewell Tour ’93
The First Thousand Seconds
Ross the Boss
II. HOCKEY NIGHT IN GAVLE
Stupid Cupid
Crime on Everybody’s Mind
The Mind of the Beholder
More Impertinent Questions
Transnational Corporate Gangsta Rock
Hockey Night in Gavle
But the Cupboard Was Bare…
To Di For
The Chess Mess
At Whose Service?
Constitutional Crisis? What Constitutional Crisis?
III. STUPIDITY FOR DUMMIES
Understanding Econospeak
Frankly Sex, With Raoul Blackaddar
Images of Large Grosses Dancing in their Heads
The Character Thing
Something Worth Celebrating
One on Every Corner
Only His Programmer Knows For Sure…
Stupidity for Dummies
Irrational Economic Man
English, Please!
Man’s New Best Friend
IV. I BELIEVE IN THE INFORMATION AGE
TV From the Inside Out
Wearing Their Identities on the Sleeves
Interactive Literary Classics
Impertinent Minds Want To Know
I Believe in the Information Age
Mission into Madness
Made You Look!
You’re NCO Till Somebody Loves You
Odds and Ends
Intellectual Opening Lines
So Subtle, You Won’t Even Know They’re There
V. IT’S A DOG EAT DOGGEREL WORLD
It’s a Dog Eat Doggerel World
Reach for the Bottom
Rock and a Soft Place
I Believe in the Sixties
Mail to the Chief
Tag – I’m It
Too Stupid to Live
The Original Help Line
What You Pay For
Fashion Crimes Television
Common Complaints
VI. STRANGE RUMBLINGS FROM CAMELOT
It’s All in the Execution
Brilliance on a Budget – Hong Kong 97 Version
What the Heck Do You Know? – The Web Version
Dueling Discourses
Do It Yourself Magazine Publishing
The Price Is Right
Note Well
Ask Dr. Political Science: Heavy Seasonings
What A Piece of Work Is a Man?
Madge and Betty Save Confederation
Strange Rumblings From Camelot
VII. THE WAGES OF CYNICISM IS MIRTH
Ask Dr. Political Science: Wouldn’t You?
The Hair of the Doggerel That Bit You
Tales From the Free Trade Café
Don’t Sell Yourself Short
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
(Everything I Do) I Do It For Me
Deadline News: First, If Not Foremost…
More Trumped Up Charges
Ask Dr. Political Science
Time and the International Monetary Fund
The Wages of Cynicism Is Mirth
VIII. ALL GOOD THINGS MUST END HAPPILY EVER AFTER
The Bush Administration’s Policy on the Complicated Issues of AIDS, Abortion and Teenage Pregnancy
Win A Dream Date With Dan
All Good Things Must End Happily Ever After
Plyin’ Cod
The Green Police
All the Resonance Men
Calling On the Heavy Hitters
This Story Exploits White Male Experience
Attitude: Like You Should Care
Gilt By Association
Some People Just Don’t Get It
IX. THE 1992 POLICE BRUTALITY SUMMER OLYMPICS
The Wind Whistles Through Empty Offices
Snapshots of Things That Divide Us
P. C. Pundits Put Upon
Dan Quayle: Television Executive
The 1992 Police Brutality Summer Olympics
Play the Canadian Refugee Hearing 2000 Game!
A Story Even Dave Barry Won’t Tell
Earth Summit Word Search
Earth Summit Word Search Solution
Waiting For Perot
Try Not To Think of Red-faced Elephants
The Graveyard Shift on the No Means No Hotline
X. DEATH TAKES A VALIUM
Some People Still Just Don’t Get It
125th Nervous Breakdown
Great Moments in Canadian Journalism
When the Monster Came to the Village
Out of Touch, Out of Mind
Individuality a la Carte
Satire For the Hard of Thinking
Print Out and Burn This Column!
Deprogramming the Donkey
Death Takes a Valium
Harry Understood About Deregulation
CODA
Mr. and Mrs. Frump Know Where To Draw the Line