Introduction: Of Ambush Interviews and Knobheads
I. AARDVARK
Scene 1: Aardvark
The Canadian Establishment and I
One More Striking Example
Some Might Call It Art
Five Hundred Million Is a Lot
Territorial Advantage
Do You Suffer From AIDS Hysteria?
The Bear Facts
Shops Get Warning Plaid Pants Obscene
The Greatest Thing Christmas
II. THE DANGLING NEGOTIATION
Scene 2: The Dangling Negotiation
International Trade: What Every Exporter Should Know
Just Plain Folks
What Have We Here?
True Life Mindless
Conversations Overheard at the Hadassah-WIZO Bazaar
Specious Logic
An Offer That’s Harder to Refuse
Holiday Viewing on a Budget
Who Killed the Economy?
III. NINETY-NINE CHANNELS OF JUNK ON THE TUBE
Scene 3: Ninety-nine Channels of Junk on the Tube
What is This Thing Called Culture?
“It’s a Mutt!”
Night of the Wrong Lines
A Letter From the President
One Small Caesar For (Hiss) Man
Do Computers Dream of Free Speech?
M*sc*w Does Not Believe In Beers
The Things We Do For Money
Neighbourhood Year-end Review, 1985
IV. WOULDN’T IT BE GOVERNMENT?
Scene 4: Wouldn’t It Be Government?
Slouching Towards Millenium
Preconceived Notions and Dangerous Ignorance
Psycho Kitty
Sheer Herb Attack
25 Down, 45 To Go
Cruising for a Bruising
Fear and Loathing on the Journalism Trail
Hoping That My Space-based laser ICBM Deterrent Will Keep…
Deadline News: Our Top Story Tonight…
V. MIDDLE CLASS EXECUTIVE
Scene 5: Middle Class Executive
Perspectives Aplenty
The Creative Process Revealed
The Dictator’s View of Democracy
Mr. Rooney Goes to Hell
Their Worst Fears Realized
Oil’s Well That Spends
Cabinet of a Lifetime
Us, The People
Deadline News: In Other News…
VI. BILLY DAVIS’ SMILE
Scene 6: Billy Davis’ Smile
As One Country to Another…
Conversations Overheard on Bell Canada’s Special Telephone Services
The Mush of History
Letters to Missed Manners
The Back Room Boys Make Good
Some Kind of Civic Pride
Still the Deaver
Intimations of Morality
Let’s Make a Trade Deal!
VII. DOME OF THE STRANGE
Scene 7: Dome of the Strange
Ad Hominem Ad Nauseam
An OMA QP Fantasmagoria
The Chartreuse Falcon
Election Day of the Dead
When Justice Becomes Deaf and Very Dumb
One Lame Excuse (With SFX)
Everybody’s Doin’ It (Doin’ It, Doin’ It)
Mr. Science Loses His Innocence
Deadline News: On the Local Scene…
VIII. THE CHAPTER OF LISTS
Scene 8: The Year of the Cuts
The Column of Lists
The Column of Lists 2
The Column of Lists 3
The Column of Lists 4
The Column of Lists 5
The Column of Lists 6
The Column of Lists 7
The Column of Lists 8
The Column of Lists 9
IX. BEAT OF THE MOMENT
Scene 9: Beat of the Moment
The Limitations of Headline News
Tod and Winnie Go After the Big Story
Granite of Jaw, Steadfast of Purpose
Rhenquist, God and the Cockroaches
On the Continued Obsolescence of Smoke Signals
Just Another Ponderable Statistic
Conversations Overheard During Hands Across America
Ira Jones and the Theatre of Doom
Deadline News: And Now, An Editorial…
X. MR. REAGAN’S NEIGHBOURHOOD
Scene 10: Mr. Reagan’s Neighbourhood
Fair Weather Fighters
Forward Into the Past
Pies in the Sky
Tis the Season
Politicians Say the Darndest Things
Deadly Logic, Deadly Force
Superman’s Patented Super Face-lift
The Column of Lists 10 (Surprise!)
Deadline News: And, Finally…