Skip to content

Specious Logic

Cover

Being able to follow a logical argument, like being able to use a complete home entertainment system, is one the ways in which man differs from the animals. We know that if A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C. But, to most people this is just so much alphabet soup – what has logic really done for the human race?

Logic has given us science. Logic has given us technology. Logic has given us Benny Hill. This shows that even logic has its limits.

When logic is taught, simple examples are used to illustrate its principles. Two or three premises are given, and a conclusion (or tenant) naturally follows. However, it might be equally valid to analyze statements which were not logical, carefully indicating their flaws and generally taking the opportunity to make fun of them.

Below is an example of such faulty reasoning, followed by several cases. Analyze the example carefully, then, using what you have learned, describe the error in the other cases.

EXAMPLE: The average North American watches close to six hours of television a day. Television does not add to a person’s experiences, and many people feel the time they spend in front of the set is “wasted.” LOGICAL CONCLUSION: People should watch less television. SPECIOUS CONCLUSION: It looks like rain.

1) When our enemies interfere with local governments, we condemn them for being undemocratic. When our friends interfere with local governments, we praise them for being pro-democratic. CONCLUSION: Aimee is a nice name.

2) Many studies have linked cigarette smoking to the development of cancer, and every cigarette package must carry a warning of this fact. The smoking of marijuana has been rumoured to lead to the taking of harder drugs, but no harmful effects have ever been proven. Both cigarettes and marijuana are multi-billion dollar industries, but cigarettes are legal and marijuana is not. CONCLUSION: A public library is a good place to find books.

3) There is no reason to believe that women are less capable than men of performing a given duty, nor has there ever been. Women still have far less access to middle and upper management positions than men, and working women make an average of 30 per cent less than men in similar jobs. CONCLUSION: If we knew then what we know now, nobody would have believed us.

4) When an individual litters, he is punished. When a corporation pollutes, it may irreparably damage the environment and endanger the lives of many citizens, but it isn’t usually punished, and rarely in any meaningful way. CONCLUSION: Johnny Carson doesn’t need The Tonight Show any more, but he’ll probably never leave it.

5) The cosmetics and fashion industries take in billions of dollars in revenue annually. Over one third of the world’s population is improperly nourished, and thousands die of starvation annually. CONCLUSION: Cats don’t really have nine lives.

6) The human body is something to be ashamed of and the only purpose for sex is procreation. The human body is beautiful and sex is fun. CONCLUSION: Reality is an illusion.

7) Peace through strength involves building enough weapons that your enemy will not launch a first strike against your country for fear of retaliation. Mutual Assured Destruction (MAD) allows countries to build as many offensive weapons as they like, but no defensive weapons, on the theory that no country will attack another if all are defenseless. Man has never created a weapon that was not ultimately put to use. CONCLUSION: Plato is mortal.

8) Communism and capitalism are mutually exclusive belief systems. Our country is based on capitalism. Russia is based on communism. Our country has a huge annual trade with Russia. CONCLUSION: McLean Stevenson should never have left M*A*S*H.

9) American officials insist that human rights is a peace issue and that the Russians must ease up on dissidents. Russian officials say: “You want to talk about human rights? Fine by us. Let’s talk about the capitalist repression of the poor…” Canadian officials watch on the sidelines, not saying much of anything. CONCLUSION: Mick Jagger will eventually marry his girlfriend, but everybody will have lost interest by then.

10) Society exists to benefit the individual, protecting him or her physically and financially. Society demands conformity to the models of acceptable behavior that it establishes, and does not tolerate individuality for a long period of time. CONCLUSION: Red beets were a mistake, but nobody in authority will admit it.