The Daily Me – Clasher Seckind

Thank you, Clasher Seckind, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then we went to TIFF, and we’ve never been to Toronto, and aren’t even there now!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Others See An Opportunity For Dumpster Diving, Public Humiliation And Shorter Life Expectancies

When getting the axe isn’t so bad
Many who lose their jobs see an opportunity for ‘self-reflection, stock taking and time out’
- Globe and Mail headline

SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376533038]
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David Is Vapid (We Know, We Know, But Petraeus Will Betray Us Was Taken)

How cynical are you about American politics? Answer the following questions to find out!

1) What was your first reaction to the Bush administration’s admonitions to wait for the Petraeus report before judging progress in Iraq?
a) it’s due in September – how is Bush going to stretch this out until he leaves office?
b) I have no problem waiting…I’ve already decided that the war was a disastrous mistake, but I can wait to say so…
c) oh, you know how much I hate surprises (not that there are likely to be any…)

2) What was your first reaction to the Bush administration’s announcement that it would be writing the Petraeus report itself? a) it’s a good idea: it’ll save the General’s time for more important things, like not tabulating Iraqi civilian body counts
b) how can it help but be inspired? After all, it’s rare for ghostwriters to be so close to so many ghosts
c)doesn’t Bush have more important things to do like gutting social security or firing non-partisan State Attorneys?

3) What was your first reaction to the subsequent announcement by the Bush administration that no, it would not, in fact, be writing the Petraeus report itself, but it would release its own report on progress in Iraq before General Petraeus released his? a) probably just as well – you know how committees tend to screw up perfectly good scripts
b) will they be sure not to count the dead stumps of the trees that will be massacred to print these reports?
c) this looks like fun! All Americans should write their own Iraq progress report!

If you answered anything other than “We have to stay the course. We’re not cut and runners – we’re Americans! Our troops have to remain in Iraq until they get the job done, and anybody who says otherwise wants American boys and girls to die horrible, gruesome deaths for no good reason!” you’re approaching the appropriate amount of cynicism for the situation.

SOURCE: Politics for Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=508&dir=bb]
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Sad, Really, When A Foreign Terrorist Is More Politically Astute Than Most American Journalists

“The Democrats haven’t made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war [in Iraq], which has led to the vast majority of [Americans] being afflicted with disappointment.” - Osama bin Laden

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Shock Treatment

Naomi Klein
The Shock Doctrine
Knopf Canada

Yes, I despise Naomi Klein. It’s not just that she gave a book of mine a negative review 20 years ago; no, I have completely forgotten that little indignity. It’s just that…well…she killed my dog. Drove over it in her oh so politically correct Prius. The worst part is that she wasn’t willing to accept responsibility for the accident – she kept trying to blame it on Steven Lewis!

However, that has nothing to do with my review of her latest book, The Shock Doctrine. I despise that on its own merits.

SOURCE: Unread Book News

[http://217.204.41.39/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Some Choices Are Easier Than Others

Oh, my god! Malcolm McDowell was signing autographs at the SciFi Expo at the Convention Centre! Malcolm Freaking McDowell! He was the star of only, like, my second favourite movie of, like, ALL TIME EVER! I couldn’t talk about anything else for weeks after I found out he would be there.

Check it out! It’s Malcolm McDowell! Well, okay, it’s a lineup in front of the desk where Malcolm McDowell was sitting…AND, I WAS THERE! HOW COOL IS THAT?!!

Then, The Boy said, “Okay. So, he’s Malcolm McDowell. He starred in your second favourite movie of all time ever. What’s he doing signing autographs at the SciFi Expo at the Convention Centre?”

Well, shit. Now, I’ve either got to skip the SciFi Expo or get a new boyfriend.

SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts

[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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Is Being An Informed Dumbass Not An Option?

BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW: that Rudy Giuliani’s decision to store 115,000 gallons of oil in the World Trade Center was actually a farsighted move to show the world he was willing to be tougher on terrorism than any other American. Hizzoner placed the flammable liquid in the building that had already been attacked by a terrorist to send a message that if future terrorists were to attack the Centre, they would be annihilated.

Don’t be a dumbass. Be Informed.

SOURCE: Ignorance Is Bliss

[http:ignorance&bliss.blogspeck.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088591861813&call_pageid=968335278492&col=968666972154]
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But, Who Speaks For The Vicktims?

Want to know the latest rationalization for Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick running a dogfighting ring out of his home, but don’t want to waste your time actually watching the coverage on television? Just spin the Wheel of Vick (below) and pretend you heard it from the mouth of an overpaid anchor.

In fact, if you do it 20 times in a row, you could get the equivalent of two weeks of blanket coverage in a matter of minutes!

SOURCE: Entertainment For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=478&dir=bb]
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The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Celebrations

City Council is planning to rename a stretch of pavement to honour the country’s war dead. How can you tell whether they’re serious or just pandering to patriotic sentiment? The following list should help clarify this most important issue

Pandering

The Road of Rubes
The Interstate of Idiots
The Lane of Losers

Iffy

The Okay Overpass
The Street of Stars
The Avenue of Asskickers

Serious

The Route of Royalty
The Circle of Champions
The Highway of Heroes

SOURCE: Aye Weakly

[http://www.aye.net/]
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So Close To Typecasting, And Yet…

The good news: there will be a remake of the 1951 science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. The bad news: Keanu Reeves will be starring in it. The worse news: he is set to play the part of Klaatu, not Gort.

SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now

[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2007/2007/08/23/whatsnewklaatu/]
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