The Daily Me – More Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines

Absolutely! They Have The Choice Of Not Being Able To Afford A Registered Retirement Savings Plan Or Not Being Able To Afford A Tax Free Savings Account (We’re Too Good To Them!)
And, Heavy Medical Journal Reading May Lead To Marijuana Use
And We Thought We Were The Only Ones Who Wrote Headlines That Were Longer Than The Articles They Were Over! It’s Just That, Well, We Probably Shouldn’t Admit This, But We Recognize That It’s Bad Form Because If You Pack Enough Information Into The Headline, It Kind Of Makes The Article Redundant
Are They Serious?
Are We So Insecure That We Need To Take Credit For Mass Extinctions Now?
As Long As The Electricity Holds Out And The Cryogenic Chamber Is Secure – Be Sure To Wake Us Up When The Economic Mayhem Is Over
At Least 30, Maybe Even 40 Years Old
Beating Our Plowshares Back Into Weapons
Because Technological Discoveries Won’t Succeed If You Don’t Have A Dozen People To Fill Out The Paperwork
Clearly, Zombies Ate The Backbenchers Brains
Did Nobody Think To Check Her Passport?
Do American Mormons Fear An Obama Presidency? Do American Buddhists Fear An Obama Presidency? Do American Pastafarians Fear An Obama Presidency? Are These Reasonable Questions?
For Dinner? Was It, Like, A Serious Date? Did They Get Any After?
Get Over It – They Were Democratically Elected! That’s Like Saying “Canadians adapt to rule under Harper” (Heaven Forfend!)
Gratuitous Cleverness Or Spellcheck Grammatical Error? You Be The Judge…
I Knew These Were Times Of Diminished Expectations, I Just Didn’t Realize HOW Diminished They Were
Imagine How She Treats Her Enemies!
I’m Out By ’09, So Bite Me, Bush Replies
Is He Really So Important That We Need To Know This?
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To Being Me
Like Democracy?
Make Them Wear Heavy Gloves While In The Office
Marshall McLuhan Must Be Laughing His Ass Off
Never Say Ne – Yeah, That’s Kind Of Schmucked, Isn’t It?
Newspaper To PM: The Feeling Is Mutual
Of Course You Realize, Christie Blatchford Is Channeling Her Inner Bugs Bunny
Oh, Get A Room! Or, At Least A Fan!
On The Plus Side, They Do Show That He’s Healthy… Very Healthy… In Fact, We’re Jealous About How Healthy…
Others See An Opportunity For Dumpster Diving, Public Humiliation And Shorter Life Expectancies
Our History? Was Canada Annexed While I Wasn’t Looking? Or Is This Just More Post Wishful Thinking?
Overdosing On Your Prescription Painkillers Is One Way, And I Find That Sucking Back Ether Can Really Help…
Perhaps, But It Also Lets Pundits Wallow In Their Anti-Canadian Smugness
Pithy, Yet Ultimately Empty Of Meaning – Has Donald Rumsfeld Taken A Job As A Globe Headline Writer?
Satirists Love A Good Fight…But You Probably Already Figured That One Out
Science Has Really Progressed – Does The Pope Know About This?
Should A Journalist Be Allowed To Sue A Headline Writer For Malpractice? Exhibit A
So, Uhh, Don’t?
Sorry To Disappoint You, But The Article Wasn’t About Dubya
That’s Not A Very Nice Thing To Say About Ann Coulter. What? The Article Wasn’t About Ann Coulter? Oh. My Bad…
Then, He Was Distracted By A Shiny Holocaust Museum And Forgot All About It
There Are Certainly Enough Ambulances There To Chase
This Is Why I Get All My News From A Ouija Board
To Tuck It In At Night And Tell It Heartwarming Bedtime Stories About How Brave It Is To Hang Canadian Soldiers Out To Dry?
When Guns Are Slimed, Only Slime Will Have Guns
Which Makes A Welcome Change From All Of Those Politicians Who Intend To Remain Ignorant
Worse: He’s A Wannabe
Wouldn’t That Destroy The Whole Premise Of The TV Show?
Wow. Is It Time To Build A Legacy On The Backs Of The Palestinians Already?