Puns we Love to Hate forts in your general direction!
1. The fashion designer hated talking about pants on women, so he decided to skirt the issue...
2. The geometry expert had trouble with triangles with two sides of equal length. You could say that it was his isosceles heel...
3. Truth serum is the drug that keeps you sayin'...
4. Shakespeare's comedies were much I dos about nothing...
5. I never tell a lie about mathematical sequences, but I'll admit that I do Fibonacci from time to time...
6. If you made a bronze bust of Fido, would it be an heirloom of the dog that bit you?
7. The neutered chicken was an intellectual who enjoyed putting his thinking capon...
8. The Polish/German river had a strange Oder...
9. When asked how his interview on world events with the newspaper went, Luciano Pavarotti explained the tenor of the Times...
10. The energy company didn't want to comply with government regulators, so it tried to do an Enron around them...
11. You have to feel sorry for people who insist that social divisions are caste in stone...
12. I know how much you love talking about Hungary, but stop being a Budapest about it!
13. You could say that the horror movie actor who barely made enough to live just eeked out a living...
14. In the winter, if you want to go on a ride, you should wear an amusement parka...
15. If you're having trouble developing a coherent life philosophy, should you find the lost and profound counter?
16. If your GP is also a Rabbi, does he ask you to stick out your tongue and say, "Torahhhhh?"
17. When the ground opens up in front of Mexicans in the fifth month of the year, they celebrate the sinkhole de mayo...
18. Do mystery writers spend a lonely life working in garrotes?
19. The captain hadn't intended to lash the traitor to the pole used in the rigging of the ship - you could say it was a spar of the moment decision...
20. I know you're sad because you ran out of the compound of whiting and linseed oil that had a dough-like consistency, but don't indulge in a putty party!
21. Payment for giving in to somebody else's point of view should be known as cede funding...
22. Just once, when I make an appointment to see my spiritual adviser, I'd like him to tell the facility: "Book 'em, Dojo!"
23. Fortunately, wordplay is not a crime, so I don't have to pay anybody punitive damages...
24. When it came time to create a small European nation, God said, "Fiat Luxembourg!"
25. Because my mother's Sister Bertha hated change, we called her the status quo auntie...
26. You really know how to get the best out of wearing tartan. Well plaid, my friend. Well plaid.
27. I just received a crate from the principality situated between France and Spain in the Pyrenees mountains. I can't wait to open Andorra's box!
28. I'll never forget the woman who danced the dance of the seven sandwiches: Salami...
29. The not very bright mob boss was often told to sit in the corner and wear a dunce capo...
30. When Dorothy's dog swallowed a whole flying monkey, she couldn't believe that it was in Toto...
31. Whenever I try to backtalk, I always end up reversing my words - you could say I get it all sass backwards...
Puns We Love to Hate could really use a vacation...
1. I wasn't that keen on the 14th century Irish language, but I learned it for better or erse...
2. The thing that holds those pants together is not what it seams...
3. I never liked gaming in arcades, so I managed to avoid all the Asteroids rage...
4. When my partner makes toast for breakfast, she wakes me by shouting, "Ryes and shine!"
5. For followers of Chtulu, brandy is dandy, but ichor is quicker...
6. Waving away black flies on the water can be thought of as the shoos of the fisherman...
7. I must admit, I'm getting tired of hearing the real estate developer/President whine about our poor us boarders!
8. I could make a pun about your eyes, but I don't want to be accused of making a cornea joke...
9. When it comes to Asian cuisine, noodles are the chow mein thing...
10. I don't need to pay in Iranian currency, but I always try to keep it rial...
11. When I fish with black worms, I always consider them my bait noire...
12. Somebody who compulsively collects small flat tools used to pluck or strum stringed instruments has a plectra complex...
13. I'm not a big fan of spiders, but, oh, you arachnid!
14. In Indian fashion, love means never having to say you're sari...
15. When the donkeys are in church, each service starts with, "Let us bray..."
16. The man who reinforces people's prejudices from the stage has a definite confirmation dais...
17. If your outerwear is covered with images of part of the small intestine, are you wearing a duodenum jacket?
18. The electric light bulb being tried for murder wanted a jury of his amperes...
19. I turned the western soundtrack up as high as it would go because I wanted to experience the full Badalamenti...
20. On balance, everybody should support women's Libra...
21. I wanted to see all the films of the man who acted in Arthur and The Elephant Man. So far, so Gielgud...
22. For Muslims, religion is Allah or nothing...
23. I don't want to hear about how wan you've become - could you please put a pallid on it!
24. Rich kids should be limousine but not heard...
25. Aladdin considered one way of crossing the raging river, but he rejected it for being a bridge too Jafar...
26. I was sure I had seen Edgar's paintings before, but I was just suffering from Degas vu...
27. You think I stand out like an organelle found in eukaryotic cells? Don't be cilia!
28. Was evidence in the waste disposal murder case ordure in the court?
29. After Adam and Eve ate the apple, they were living in an Eden of iniquity...
30. Sad yips because a young dog doesn't want you to leave are a puppy ciao...
31. As they get older, I expect the Rolling Stones to rerecord their classic ballad: "Angiogram..."
