He May Not Swear That Often, But He Sure Knows How To Leviticus
The first thing one invariably thinks when evangelist Pat Robertson talks about gay rights is: Evangelist Pat Robertson is still alive to talk about gay rights? I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but...
The second thing one invariably thinks when evangelist Pat Robertson speaks about gay rights is: Is he gay? Because so many preachers who spoke out against gay rights have been found in men's bathrooms with their - okay, I don't need to paint a picture, here. They turned out to be gay is what I'm saying. I bet he's gay.
The third thing one invariably thinks when evangelist Pat Robertson speaks about gay rights is...different for very person. For me, it was: Hmm...atomic war doesn't really say "land vomiting you out" to me. The land growing a two thousand mile-long mouth and actually throwing up people by the millions, along with roast beef, mashed potatoes and a nice mixed vegetables - okay, I really don't need to paint a picture here!
Why are evangelists so against gay rights? (They're secretly gay.) Like Pat Robertson, they often use apocalyptic rhetoric when discussing gay rights. (No, really, it's simple: they're gay and in the closet.) You would have thought that New Testament admonitions about loving the Other would have made them advocate for gay rights. (Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Are you getting it yet?)
The Basket of Deplorables doesn't always give up its secrets easily. (Aaaaaaaaargh!)
If It Was Good Enough For The Twelfth Century...
Some people are born reprehensible. Some people make themselves reprehensible. Some people have reprehensibility thrust upon them. Republican Representative Steve King has the dubious distinction of having achieved all three.
Most people consider rape and incest to be, you know, kind of bad. People who have been raped rarely compare it favourably to a weekend at a Bahamas resort, and with good reason: they are often traumatized for life. Short of being permanently paralyzed by the sting of a manta ray, that never happens at resorts.
This poses a problem for most people who oppose abortion: how to justify forcing women who have been raped to carry their rapist's child to term. Fortunately for them, Representative King stuck his head out of the Basket of Deplorables long enough to shrug and say, "Hey. Rape and incest made the world what it is today. It's historical, really. You want to argue with history?"
Judging by the state of the world today, I would say that a different approach is long overdue.
When It Comes To Racism, One State Representative Is Happy To Toot His Own Horn
And then there's New Hampshire state legislator Werner Horn. I would say that he is in a class by himself, but at Deplorables University, Remedial Racism 101 takes up the biggest lecture hall...and has to be divided into three sections at that!
By Horn's logic, pimps are not misogynistic as long as they are only selling women's bodies for the money. And, if we're being totally consistent, assassins aren't psychopaths as long as they're murdering people they have no personal connection to for the money. And politicians who pick and choose which parts of the Constitution to follow aren't really traitors to the United States as long as...you get the idea.
This belief stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature: that people cannot have more than one motivation for an action. So, when you go to a party to spite the parent who forbade you from leaving the house, you can't also want to get drunk with your friends and trash one of their houses (in short: have fun). The person who is making a fortune polluting a river can't also just hate water (it has no smell...it has no taste...what exactly the hell is water hiding?).
If American slavery wasn't racist, it's a hell of a coincidence that all of the slave owners were white and all of the slaves were black. Unless...unless blacks were simply more valuable than whites. Yes. Of course. Whites were not traded as slaves because they just weren't valuable enough, certainly not as valuable as blacks.
I've only just had the thought, but I can already hear the anguished "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" coming from a lonely corner of the Basket of Deplorables. The acoustics in there are incredible!
