Quotes Had Something Else in Mind...

Everybody is Talking About Things They Know Nothing About, Red Pill Edition...

Worse Than The Tribes Of Leafs And Habs Fans?

Too many newcomers to Canada "would create 'little tribes' that would, in turn, cause divisions across the country and erode Canada's identity." - Maxime Bernier

Our Lack Of An Alternate Plan Does

"As we have discussed, our opposition to carbon taxation does not indicate a lack of commitment to address climate change" - Rod Phillips, Ontario Environment Minister

If Only The Abuse Had Stayed Within Imaginable Levels!

"I'm the guy who played a central role in this home thing and I regret it because...it got abused beyond everybody's imagination." - Lewis Ranieri, creator of mortgage-backed securities that were largely responsible for the 2008 market crash

One Of The Many Reasons He Deserved To Be Separated From His Job

"These children are well cared for. In fact, they get better care than a lot of American kids do...plenty of food, education in their language, health and dental care...at taxpayer expense." - former US Attorney General Jeff Sessions talking about refugee children who have been separated from their parents

Assange Should Write A Book: How To Gain Friends And Get Your Soiled Undies Cleaned On Their Tab

"There is no obligation in international agreements for Ecuador to pay for things like Mr. Assange's laundry." - Ecuadorian Foreign Minister Jose Valencia, after WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange sued the country over new terms placed on his asylum in Ecuador's London embassy

Everybody is Talking About the President...

Wah Wah Wah - I Know You Am, But What Are He‽

"It's like a manhood thing with him - as if manhood could ever be associated with him." - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi telling Democrats about her meeting with President Trump and his obsession with funding a border wall with Mexico

"And, To Be Honest, I'm Not Even Sure Of That..."

"Only he knows what he believes." - Kellyanne Conway's response when challenged about Donald Trump's lies

The Problem With The Idea Of Trump Being Called To Office By God Is That He Would Believe He Was Talking To Himself

"I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that's why he's there. I think he has done a tremendous job in supporting a lot of the things that people of faith really care about." - Sarah Huckabee Sanders

The President is Talking About Everybody...

Unfortunately, He Believes The First Amendment Guarantees The Right Of Undocumented Workers To Press His Pants

"I will say this, look, nobody believes in the First Amendment more than I do, and if I think somebody's acting out of sorts, I will leave, I'll say thank you very much, everybody, I appreciate you coming and I'll leave. And those reporters will not be too friendly to whoever it is that's acting up." - President Donald Trump

Everybody is Talking About Everybody Else...

Ron Taverner, Ian Todd, Rueben Devlin, Gavin Tighe and Jenni Byrne Are Breathing A Sigh Of Relief That THAT Promise Hasn't Been Kept

The Ontario Liberals "[lined] the pockets of their friends and Liberal insiders... What we won't be doing is feathering anybody's nest." - candidate Rob Ford talking about how a Progressive Conservative Party government would rule differently if it was elected

 No, More Like A Ventriloquist's Dummy
And, It's Not Too Hard To Figure Out Whose Hand Is Up Your Butt

"I am not a puppet." - acting Attorney General Matt Whittaker refusing to make a statement after a question by Congressman Eric Swallwell

He's The Sort Of Candidate You Will Like If You Like That Sort Of Can - Ooh! I Need To Sit Down For A Moment - This Logic Is Making Me Dizzy!

"If you really understand the big picture of what's going on, then what's going on with Kavanaugh will make perfectly good sense to you." - HUD Secretary Ben Carson

There's Gender-blind Casting, Then There's Blind Drunk Casting!

"My dream film role is to play Tiger Woods in a biopic." - Paula Patton

 Kavanaugh May Not Be As Helpful As Republicans Think
All Democrats Have To Do Is Invite Him To A Kegger When Important Votes Are Being Held

"Then they'll be trapped into appealing to the Supreme Court. And we'll see whether or not the Kavanaugh fight was worth it." - Newt Gingrich, responding to a question about the President's tax returns, argues that he has nothing to fear from congressional oversight

Everybody is Talking About Things They Know Nothing About, Blue Pill Edition...

We May Have Had To Change Our Diapers A Few Times While We Were Waiting For The Action To Happen, But Real Adult Journalism Always Has A Cost

"We laid in the bushes in wait and we busted one of those smuggling operations." - Fox News "reporter" Griff Jenkins, describing how he attempted to foil migrants entering the US from Mexico

Blackadder Would Have Known What To Do With Him

"I get half recognized a lot. One man once said, 'You are the spitting image of Mr. Bean.' When I told him that I was the actor that played Mr. Bean, he laughed and said, 'I bet you wish you were...'" - Rowan Atkinson

But, We Have More Faith In Our Parliamentarians Than That

"There is a fear that...they would just stay at home and play computer games." - Finnish professor Heikki Hiilamo on some of the public opposition to Finland's universal basic income experiment

 They Are...Umm...Both Written In Human Languages
You Know, With Words And Stuff
They Must Be Twins!

"You see the Nazi platform from the early 1930s...look at it compared to the DNC (Democratic Party) platform of today, you're saying, 'Man, those things are awfully similar' to a point where it's actually scary. It's the exact opposite of what you've been told." - Donald Trump, Jr.

There's More Meat On The Bones Of Adults (Although Children Make A Better Gravy)

"He doesn't [just] love children, he loves people. He's a real humane human." - Vladimir Putin's press secretary Dmitry Peskov about his boss