Thank you, Enamorata Cochlear, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Did it ever occur to you that if Salvador Dali had been a bicycle, he would have had eight wheels and handlebars that were 23 feet high? Of course not! You'd rather turn away from the truth! Some people just don't deserve modern art!
Enjoy,Because DJs Hate You
MONDAY: Why is it that when songs I like get remixed, THEY ALWAYS REMOVE THE PARTS I LOVED MOST ABOUT THE SONG?
TUESDAY: Yeah, yeah, the lectures about not conforming to cultural ideals of female beauty in The Women were great, but, did you see that fashion show sequence? Man, what I wouldn't give to look good in those clothes!
WEDNESDAY: I compared the song list on my Apple device with my friend's. That's right: we went Nano a Nano.
THURSDAY: That's the Republican ticket all over: John McCain doesn't know how to send an email and Sarah Palin sent too many emails.
FRIDAY: No, I don't feel embarrassed about the whole "Nano a Nano" thing on Wednesday. Should I be?
SATURDAY: According to an article in the paper, actor Rachel Weisz is currently listening to MIA's "Paper Planes." SO AM I! I?ve never felt so connected to a celebrity I?ve never met?
SUNDAY: The Republicans want us to believe that Sarah Palin is ready to face down the Russians? Give me a break! They don't believe Sarah Palin is ready to face down American journalists!
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
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You Can Put Lipstick On Balls Of Steel, But...
Nine ways you can tell the speech Sarah Palin gave at the Republican convention was originally written for a man:
9. Challenged Vladimir Putin to a drinking contest, after which they would see who could piss their names in the snow the fastest.SOURCE: Late Tonight with David Lenoman
[http://marketing.ubs.com/latetonight/latetonightshow/list]
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Self-serving Self-promotion Isn't Segregated
Clint Eastwood, having seen an advanced screening of Spike Lee's new film, Miracle at St Anna, criticized the film for not portraying white soldiers in its platoon.
In response, Lee said, "Soldiers were segregated during the Second World War, so there were no white soldiers in black platoo - oh, I see what you're doing. Very clever, asshole."
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0078356/]
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Georgia Shot First! Who Has Been Editing The News - George Lucas?
Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin wanted Georgia admitted to NATO as quickly as possible. When war broke out between Russia and Georgia, the United States, a NATO leader, was obligated to come to Georgia's defense. The ensuing nuclear exchange left the planet a burning cinder floating in space.
On the lighter side, scientists now have an answer to the question: will cockroaches be the only living creatures to survive a nuclear war? The answer is no.
This will be the final report from the ghost of Dimsum Agglomeratizatonalisticalism, who can no longer resist going into the light.
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=3232581314622314687fx]
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It's Just That Kind Of Astute Political Analysis That Ensures That My Potholes Will Never Get Fixed
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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A Lot Of Us Have Been Doing That Shrug Lately
The McCain campaign is accusing Democratic Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden of sexism for reportedly saying that Sarah Palin is an "obscene broad." "The issues facing Americans today are very serious," John McCain said. "There is no room in this campaign for personal attacks."
The record shows that Biden actually told a crowd in Missoula, Missouri that, before she had been nominated as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Palin had "never been abroad." When asked about the McCain campaign's...unique interpretation of his statement, Biden gave a "What the hell are you gonna do?" shrug.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49381-2008Sept10.html]
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Some Say The Glass Is Half Full, Some Say The Glass Is Half Empty, Some Say It Doesn't Matter If The Glass Is Embedded In Your Forehead
Q: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and some of the other architects of the Bush administration's torture policy are afraid to leave the United States lest they be arrested and tried as war criminals. Is this a good or a bad thing?
A: A bit of both, really. On the one hand, since virtually any civilized nation will arrest them, the only places they could travel are countries that are at war (in most cases, a war that they were responsible for), which could be highly dangerous for them. On the other hand, given the abysmal knowledge of the world that these people have, foreign travel doesn't appear to hold much attraction for them now that they are out of office. Which one is good and which one is bad, depends, of course, on what your politics are.
SOURCE: Politics for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp'did=599&dir=bb]
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It's Like Putting Lipstick On A Pi...t Bull. Yeah. Pit Bull. That's What I Meant To Say All Along. Pit Bull.
Vaughan Mayor Linda Jackson has sued eight councilors, claiming that they acted illegally and in bad faith in pursuing charges against her over questions of election finance irregularities. Who does she think she is: Stephen Harper?
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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What's The Difference? Everybody Knows Wrestling Is Fixed
NOW! ESPN. World Democracy Wrestling. It's the ultimate cage match! In one corner, the Republican Party, willing to disenfranchise as many as 900,000 voters in Ohio by striking them from the voters' lists if they don't respond to a bogus election letter. In the other corner...hello? Hello? Is anybody in the other corner? Come on, somebody, make a fight of it! Anybody?
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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