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The Daily Me Staff
Ah, The Breast Laid Plans…
To the Editor:
In all brouhaha surrounding breastfeeding in public, I think an important issue is getting lost. Women’s breasts were made for the sexual pleasure of men. We stare at them. We make rude jokes about them. If we’re lucky, we even get to see them and, maybe, play with them for a little bit.
Any other use of women’s breasts is obscene and should not be allowed in public!
Alan SmitheeSOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2007/09/22/503327.html]
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_________________.
Mime Marcel Marceau died yesterday. To celebrate his life, people are asked to observe a moment of silence…for the next 50 years.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Foolish Consistency Is The Hobgoblin Of Small Businesses
1960s: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
1970s: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
1980s: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
1990s: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
2003: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
2005: BUSINESS: There’s nothing wrong with the environment.
2007: BUSINESS: There is an “unprecedented consensus” that climate change is “the most pressing and daunting issue” today that requires “aggressive” action. That’s why voluntary programmes to cut greenhouse gas emissions are absolutely essential.
SOURCE: Economics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummieshome.asp?did=478&dir=bb]
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Avoidance Is The New Evasion
MONDAY: A local radio station has a contest where you can win a trip to the city where the TV show Dexter is set. Do they not know that Dexter is about a serial killer who brutally murders other serial killers? Is that really what they think of their listeners?
TUESDAY: I used to keep a jar with American coins I got in change. I thought, maybe if I traveled to the States, I would have a nice chunk of change to spend. Of course, now that the Canadian dollar is essentially equal to the American dollar, I wonder why I didn’t spend that money on Kit Kat bars.
WEDNESDAY: Have you been watching the 2007 television season? It looks like transsexuals are the new gays.
THURSDAY: Tax avoidance? Tax avoidance! This isn’t like stepping around dogshit on the sidewalk. When big corporations don’t pay their fair share of taxes, the rest of us are the ones who end up in the doo doo.
FRIDAY: Apparently, the Michael Lee-Chin Crystal, Daniel Liebeskind’s addition to the Royal Ontario Museum, leaks. I’m surprised they didn’t call the water on the floor “a post-modern comment on the absurdity of expecting to find shelter in a turbulent world.” Or: “An anti-post-modern rebuke to global climate change deniers.” Or: “Fred.”
SATURDAY: Talk about closing the barn door after the horse has bolted, been captured by a bank robber and used in eight train hold-ups before being shot in the nose and been put down and being sold for glue (but being forever after celebrated in song)! Ottawa set to curb foreign takeovers? Really? WHAT’S LEFT TO TAKE OVER?
SUNDAY: And, anyway, with the Canadian dollar so strong, what foreigner wants to buy a Canadian company, anyway? Shh. I’m trying to get some rest.
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
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Privacy If Necessary, But Not Necessarily Privacy
You may have heard that Revenue Canada has asked ehBay to turn over information about its customers in order to see if any are evading their tax responsibilities. We would like to assure our loyal customers that we have the utmost respect for your privacy, and that we will do all within our power to assure that the private information we collect to better serve you will not be given lightly to governments that demand it.
When we give your private information to the Canadian government, we will do so with the deepest regrets
SOURCE: ehBay
[http://cgi.ehbay.ca/ws/ehBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=219&item=6113967766&rd=1]
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And, Lord Knows, They’re Not House Trained
We need to stop letting American politicians visit Canada. If we don’t stop them over there, they’ll be spreading their pro-war rhetoric over here.
Not only that, but we should never let our foreign correspondents leave Washington. If we do, the American politicians will surely follow them home.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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The Will (And Testament) Of The People
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Everybody Settles – Especially You
You want: wild popular success early in your life, like Orson Welles. You’ll settle for: reasonable critical success in late middle age, like Samuel Beckett. You’ll get: the executor of your estate won’t find any merit in the manuscripts you leave behind after you die, and, unlike Franz Kafka’s executor, will destroy them all as you instruct in your will.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Wait’ll You Get A Load Of The Badge For That Activity!
Minister of Defence Maxime Bernier pleaded with the Boy Scouts of America to send troops to Afghanistan to help fight the Taliban and reconstruct the war-torn country. Bernier argued that it would take an organization of the Boy Scouts’ stature to bring home to the world the reality of the importance to world peace of the mission in Afghanistan.
“Hell, if this doesn’t show the world the justness of our cause,” Bernier commented, “our next move is to enlist the aid of a battalion of Saint Bernards. Let’s see how anti-war activists fare against their big puppy dog eyes!”
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20071002.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newsScoutsDishonour2007/]
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