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Enjoy,Oh, You Know Peter MacKay Would Look Great No Matter What Gender He Was!
Rumours that he is about to shuffle his cabinet have left Prime Minister Harper with a quandary. With a lack of qualified female MPs, he will have a hard time getting female representation in his new cabinet. Despite this, there is no truth to the rumour that Harper has asked any of his MPs to have sex change operations, and there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that three backbenchers have volunteered for them.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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If He Plays His Cards Right, He Could Pocket The Money And Retire Without Having Played A Single Game In North America
That’s David Beckham, folks: a star nobody in North America has heard about, who plays a game nobody in North America cares about is paid $50 million to play here to try and get us interested. Only, he’s injured so he isn’t even up to playing.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#56265933665]
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Don’t You Mean More Ridiculous? Is That Even Possible?
Friends of Bill O. have been claiming that when I said that there was no difference between the left-wing DAILYKOS Web site and the Ku Klux Klan, I meant it metaphorically. Nonsense! I meant DAILYKOS members have created a wide-ranging, shadowy conspiracy to deny right-wingers our rights. These are people who wear white sheets to hide their identities as they ride into town on horseback looking for Conservatives to lynch! It’s not a metaphor – it’s the way things are! People, I know you mean well, but you’ve got to stop “interpreting” what I say on the show. By trying to put my words into context, you’re just making me look ridiculous!
SOURCE: The O’Meilly Factor
[http://www.foxynews.com/story/0,2933,96207,00.html]
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Okay, I Know I’m Easily Confused, But This Goes Well Beyond That
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Christopher, Why Are You So Afraid Of Offending Christians?
Unless I am wrong, a sincere Christian need only affirm that there is one god, only one, and that the prophet Jesus was his messenger, bringing thereby the final words of God to humanity. Certain practices are supposed to follow this affirmation, including a commitment to pray every Sunday, a promise to confess one’s sins whenever possible and a pious vow to bring the good news to every man, woman and child on earth.
Thus, Christian belief, however simply or modestly it may be stated, is an extreme position to begin with.
SOURCE: Clean Slate
[http://cleanslate.com/id/2171371/]
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It Could Help You Beat Your Supervisor To Death When He Shelves The Report You Spent Six Months Writing
I’m not surprised to read that studies show video games improve eye hand coordination. I can’t help but wonder, though, how those skills, of such obvious importance to our ancestors in the wilds, will help me finish writing my report on profit maximization through worker wage reductions for the VP Finance in the office where I work.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49dccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cbgb6a528]
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And We Thought We Were The Only Ones Who Wrote Headlines That Were Longer Than The Articles They Were Over! It’s Just That, Well, We Probably Shouldn’t Admit This, But We Recognize That It’s Bad Form Because If You Pack Enough Information Into The Headline, It Kind Of Makes The Article Redundant
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=9576533026]
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Bet All Those Bushes Are Burning To Win The Presidency
Little commented on has been the consensus among the leading Democratic candidates for President that the United States has every right to project its military superiority throughout the world in order to protect its interests. In this way, Democratic voters are being given a choice between a black Bush, a female Bush or a Bush with really good hair.
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1106749893763460.xml]
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What’s Next? Yellow Plates For Jews? Oi!
Ontarians who qualify for green licence plates because their cars are environmentally friendly shouldn’t worry about driving in American states where green plates are being considered for people of Irish descent, said Environment Minister Laurel Broten.
“I’m very confident that we will be able to design a programme that keeps Ontarians safe from racial stereotyping in other jurisdictions while demonstrating their environmental leadership here in the province.
“Besides, what’s wrong with being Irish?”
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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Tierra Del Fuego: “Just Fun”
The tiny archipelago of Tierra del Fuego plans on sending a fishing vessel to the North Pole. “We heard there was a party going on up there,” Foreign Affairs Minister Mumbalo Packmannie explained, “and we didn’t want to miss the fun.” He asked if he should bring the Mai Tais, or if the Canadian, American, Russian or Danish ships already there would have their own supplies.
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2007/08/13/russiabroughtthestrippers070813]
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And, Yet, It Sounds Like A Saner Policy Than The One Currently In Place
NATO said yesterday it was not aware of any request by a British NATO commander for the United States to withdraw special forces from his area of operations in Afghanistan due to high civilian casualties.
British Defence Minister Des Browne told reporters in Kabul that the unnamed commander was wishing upon a shooting star, and that such wishes should in no way be mistaken for official government policy. “The British government tried shooting star wishes during The Blitz,” Browne commented, “and we all know how well that worked!”
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.opinion.semaphore.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/14/JD414O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s112/Os/14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwFie!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=21215]
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