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The Daily Me Staff
This Headline Announces Its Independence From The Following Article
The Afghan people, fed up with being used by the Taliban for propaganda purposes, have started to rebel.
“I was hit by a NATO bomb,” used flying carpet salesman Tariq Al-Fuzzi said. “The Taliban wanted to take me to a hospital, but I told them that I would not allow them to use me to make the Americans look bad. If I had gone with them, doctors may have been able to save one of my legs, but it’s a small price to pay for my integrity.”
Monia Massedegh, who watched in horror as her home was reduced to rubble by an American air attack, refused to allow the Taliban to help her dig out the corpses. “The Taliban are exploiting our suffering,” she said. “If I had any relatives left, I would want the Americans to kill them just so I could refuse the Taliban’s help once more.”
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=0ec0ocda-b6e6-4c18-bf9b-07b267cc48ec]
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A Kick In The Family Jewels (That’s Gotta Hurt!)
The Central Intelligence Agency has made public documents that detail some of its most insane adventures, including trying to kill Cuban leader Fidel Castro with exploding cigars. These escapades were known inside the agency as “The family jewels.”
If these were the family jewels, it’s a miracle that anybody in the CIA ever had children!
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2007Jul01.html]
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No iDate Is Complete Without One? Get an (i)Life!
Nine ways you can tell that the person you’re on a date with has a fake iPhone just to impress you.
9. When a ring tone goes off in the restaurant, he doesn’t automatically check to see if it’s his phone.SOURCE: Late Tonight with David Lenoman
[http://marketing.ubs.com/latetonight/latetonightshow/list]
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Meet The New McCarthy, Same As The Old McCarthy
In his latest tape, which debuted at number 7 on the Billboard charts, Osama bin Laden voiced his opinion of Maher Arar. “I never heard of him,” bin Laden stated. “So, I asked around, and nobody in my organization had ever heard of him. Who is he?”
In response, Michael Scheuer, an architect of the American programme of extraordinary rendition, said that, despites bin Laden’s denials, he “strongly suspects” the Canadian of “extreme naughtiness.” If mistakes were made in the rendition programme, said Scheuer, they only affected foreigners, and, in the end, they’re all guilty of something. “The rendition programme has been the single most effective counter-naughtiness operation ever conducted by the United States government,” he said.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070626.eladvote0626_@/BNStory/newsRendThis2007/]
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Get Over It – They Were Democratically Elected! That’s Like Saying “Canadians adapt to rule under Harper” (Heaven Forfend!)
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376533038]
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A Comedic Bomb Of Biblical Proportions
Johan Huibers, a Dutch contractor, has built a replica of Noah’s ark. Sadly, he made more money the week after he had completed it than Evan Almighty took in at the box office in its first week.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2007/2007/06/27/ohsteve/]
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Some People Are Easier To Love At 64 Than Others
It has been suggested to me that I may be getting a little old (and a lot bald) to have a pony tail. I have been considering the possibility. Then, I saw a picture of 64 year old Sly Stallone’s Mohawk, and I realized that however close I may be to the line that separates acceptable behaviour from the bizarre, I am still on the right side of it.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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A Just Doesn’t Get It Daisy Chain Of Hate
Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington claims racism was a factor in his firing after he twice used an anti-gay slur.
Sandra Oh could use this defense, claiming anti-Asian racism if she was fired for using an anti-black slur.
Then, Sara Ramirez could claim anti-Hispanic racism if she was fired for using an anti-Asian slur.
Then, Justin Chambers could claim that he was a victim of the ages old prejudice against actors if he was fired for using an anti-Hispanic slur.
Then, T. R. Knight could claim that he was a victim of anti-gay prejudice if he was fired for insulting Justin Chambers’ acting ability.
Or, I don’t know, I’m just throwing this out as a crazy possibility, a thought experiment, if you will, Washington could stop hiding behind racism and own up to his homophobia.
SOURCE: Big Alex’ Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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Annoyed Freud (And Hung Jung)
Peanuts envy: the subconscious belief that your parents’ comic strips were better than yours are.
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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