Thank you, Schiopulescu Kokkola, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we were stopped dead by a simple but vital question: are you the Rumanian version of a popular soda beverage?
Enjoy,For Dinner? Was It, Like, A Serious Date? Did They Get Any After?
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=5626533033]
more
It’s A Better Explanation Than That He’s A Sad, Scared, Paranoid Old Man Who Doesn’t Understand The Role Transparent Government Plays In Democratic Societies
Vice President Dick Cheney refuses to give Congress the number of documents he authorized classified or declassified last year, claiming that a reporting law that applies to the executive branch does not apply to him because he’s a member of the legislative branch. However, in 2001, when he was asked for documents relating to Energy Taskforce meetings he led, he claimed Congress didn’t have the power to ask for them because he was a member of the executive branch.
You may see a contradiction here, but Cheney, ever the subtle politician, is actually claiming something unprecedented: that he is a quantum vice president. He hovers in a state somewhere between the legislative and executive branches.
You may have wondered why he wants his residence to be taken off Google Maps. It’s because if he is seen entering or leaving his house, his variety of quantum states will collapse into a single state – whether executive, legislative or mineral – and he feels he would not be as effective as vice president.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
more
Is “They Believed He Is A Great Writer” An Option?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
Dream On
MONDAY: My uncle wears bifocals, although you can’t tell because the line between the lenses is invisible. I used to wonder why he would gently rock his head back and forth, smiling to himself. Then, I tried the bifocals on myself. If you look through them at just the right angle and tilt you head back and forth, it looks like whatever you’re looking at is puffing in and out.
Now I understand why my uncle never felt the need to do drugs.
TUESDAY: The genius of the system is that by the time you realize that teen heartthrobs are fabricated by major corporations hoping to make a lot of money off of your naïve enthusiasm, you’re no longer their target demographic.
WEDNESDAY: When it comes to reproductive rights, ZZ Top put it best: “She got eggs/She knows how to use them.”
THURSDAY: Why is it that when an artist does more than one Web comic, the one they fall behind in updating is always the one I read?
FRIDAY: I have a love/hate relationship with Paris Hilton. I love her clothes; I hate her.
SATURDAY: Flibanserin, Intrinsa, Bremelanotide, PT-141 – my boyfriend keeps trying to get me to take “female Viagra” when I don’t put out for him. Come on! I’m only twenty…something. I think our relationship would be much better if he would forget about the medicine cabinet and put that effort into finding out where my clit is. Really. It’s not like it’s that big of a secret!
SUNDAY: I’m going to sleep, and when I wake up, I expect the world to be a better place.
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots
[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
more
Science Has Really Progressed – Does The Pope Know About This?
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1374983033]
more
Our History? Was Canada Annexed While I Wasn’t Looking? Or Is This Just More Post Wishful Thinking?
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376531083]
more
I Know He Wants To Wear The Mantle Of Kennedy, But Is This The Best Way To Do It?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
It Just Makes Them So Much Easier To Condemn To An Eternity Of Hellfire
god Sucks Big Time! Let’s Hate god!Umm. Yeah. I’m not a religious believer, but would it be asking too much for atheists to make their case without the vitriol?
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.34/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
more
You Know The Vice President Has To Keep The Rabid Ferrets Somewhere
How is that American troop surge thing in Iraq working out? Four Star General David Petraeus said that putting pressure on targeted segments of the bad guys has caused them to, “squirt out of Baghdad.” Aides to the General say he came up with the phrase just that morning when, brushing his teeth, he tried to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
I feel good about American prospects in Iraq.
In other Iraq war nuttiness, the Bush administration refuses to call the bases it’s pouring billions of dollars into “permanent.” They are, instead, “enduring,” which, I guess, is so close to endearing that Bush figures the public will go for it. Why not? He makes seven worse grammatical errors before breakfast.
The administration argues that the bases aren’t permanent because the al-Maliki government asked the US to put them there, and can ask them to leave at any time. Of course, American troops are the only thing that is actually keeping al-Maliki in power in Iraq, so how likely is it that he will ask them to leave the country? Las Vegas oddsmakers have put it below Paris Hilton taking over emceeing duties on Jeopardy when Alex Trebek retires, and slightly higher than rabid ferrets flying out of Vice President Dick Cheney’s ass.
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
[http://www.comedycentric.com/tv_shows/thedaytodayshowwithjontudor/headlines_pol.jhtml]
more