Marcos – The Movie!
"Larry?" "Bud?" "You want an idea for a movie? I got an idea for a movie that's so good it could choke a hedgehog. I want you to concentrate -…
The Schwartz Sports Report
Hello, sports fans, and welcome to another edition of the Schwartz Sports Report, brought to you by Seymour Schwartz and Sons, suppliers of pucks to midget hockey tournaments for many,…
Power Smoking
"Good morning, TC." "Morning, RH." TC, sitting awkwardly on the counter in the men's room on the seventh floor of the Blammo Building, had just taken out a cigarette. "Got…
Mr. and Mrs. Frump Join a Club
"Yo! Poor people! Can I talk to you for a moment?" Ignoring the cars behind him, Throckmorton P. Gundersludge IV stopped his limo when he saw the two scummy vagrants…
A Very Public Life
The Candidate knew he was courting disaster, but he couldn't deny his feelings: he wanted some ice cream. If he did go out to Baskin and Robbins, the 18 reporters…
Pretty Faces, Empty Heads
"Good evening, and welcome to Celebrity Interview. I'm your host, Rex Veneer. Tonight, I'll be talking to a man who has made a career out of talking to other people,…
Codename: Raid
The lights in the bar were low; cigarette smoke hung lazily about the place because, well, this was Moscow and it didn't have anywhere else to go. If the patrons…
What Seems To Be The Problem?
"Hello, Doctor." WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? "What? It's just a form of greeting..." HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT JUST A FORM OF GREETING? "I beg your pardon?" HOW DO…
Mr. and Mrs. Frump Suffer From Déjà vu
"Hey, Missus! Didjya hear? The United Nations has made 1987 the International Year of the Homeless Person!" "Really? What's that?" "What? A homeless person? That's us!" "No. I meant, what's…
Scene 11: Dinner For One
Curtain up on a small dining room. BOB sits at a table in the middle of the room, the remains of a fancy meal before him. The lights are low,…
The Wonderful World of Nuclear Radiation
You have to feel sorry for the fine folks at Atomic Energy Canada, Limited. Here the Crown Corporation sits on the biggest technological goldmine since Alexander Graham Bell got the…
Exploring Nature with Ranger Bill
"I don't wanna go to the bathroom. I hafta go to the bathroom!" Ranger Bill smiled that perfect smile which reminded the boys that he was at peace with himself…