Thank you, Actyrion Parnassus, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we wondered why the names of spaceships in science fiction stories are in italics. Spaceships! There’s nothing especially special about spaceships that would warrant such treatment. Along with emphasis, the thoughts of characters and, of course, titles of complete works of art, italics is now used for this? We couldn’t help but wonder if, perhaps, italics have some weird plan to dominate typography. We must not allow that to happen! We must resist italics fascism before it’s too…it’s too…
* SIGH * It’s too late.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
This Offer Will Self-destruct In Thirty Seconds
The Economy May Take A Little Longer
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– Farcebook ad
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-3794147940736139500-03896273cahs01.html]
Fa La La La La La La La La No Longer Just A Christmas Tune
Some people on the left are having a hard time distinguishing between people who claim on social media to be fighting fascists and people who are actually out on the streets fighting fascists. I have come up with five rules of thumb to apply to claims of membership in antifa:
1. You’re not antifa just because you say you’re antifa.
2. You’re not antifa just because somebody who is fa says something nasty about you. The fa fight among themselves all of the time.
3. You’re not antifa if you organize a rally to which you invite a prominent American fa.
4. You’re not antifa if you encourage fas to harass the actual antifa members who show up to protest the rally to which you invited a prominent American fa.
5. You’re not antifa if you play both sides off each other in order to gain publicity for yourself.
Honestly, folks, this isn’t hard. Pay attention, would you?
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
When We Join Their Numbers
(We’ll Just Have To Figure Out How To Stop Those Who Come After Us From Becoming Us)
“When will we treat elders with dignity, respect?”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1275573578]
Their Only Sincere Thoughts And Prayers Go Out To The Poor, Oppressed Gun Manufacturers
“My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims” may as well be a Hallmark card, for all the sincerity the right-wing puts into the sentiment. Thoughts and prayers are no substitute for legislation, as the following chart clearly shows:
| T&P | Legislation | |
| can require background checks of gun buyers for mental illness |  |
 |
| can require training in safe gun use and storage | |
|
| can mandate 30 day cooling off period | |
|
| can limit purchase of AK-47s and other weapons of war | |
|
| can limit purchase of rounds of ammunition | |
|
SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
For That Matter, Why Hasn’t He Mind Melded With A Dog?
Oh, Yeah – You Always Know What Dogs Are Thinking!
Why has Spock never mind melded with a cat? If he had, maybe we could find out why their response to being given treats is to pee in our shoes. I think Spock has to mind meld with a cat – Star Trek writers, would you please get on this right away?
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/220601/geeklynews/01generoddenberryhahaha.htm]
If I Could Drive A Gun To Work, I Might See Your Point
…Honestly
Barrington Martin II
@_BarringtonII
May 28
If someone mows down a crowd of people with their vehicle, will there be protests at Ford, GMC, Chevy, etc., telling these brand of auto makers that they’re murderers? Will people beg the state to control what type of vehicles people own? Please answer honestly.
SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/u-cant-handle-the-honesty/]
Unintentional Comedy Can Be The Funniest…Although It Can Also Be The Most Painful
Let’s Let The Voters Decide
Larry the Cable Guy is suing the Doug Ford reelection campaign for copyright infringement, claiming that its phrase, “Get it done,” is a ripoff of his phrase, “Get ‘er done!”
“I’ve put decades of hard work into perfectin’ those three words,” Mr. the Cable Guy stated, “and I’ll be gosh-darned if I’m gonna let some snot-nosed politician steal it from me!”
For its part, the campaign claims that use of the phrase wasn’t a theft so much as it was an homage. Mr. the Cable Guy snorted in response and said, “Now that’s funny, right there!”
SOURCE: Titters Comedy Club
[http://www.titters.com/info/TittersClubs/ElginClub/elgNowAppearing.cfm]
When It Comes To World Domination, She’s One Politician Who Is Greene With Envy
It’s easy to make fun of the concept of a peach tree dish; it conjures up the image of a bonsai fruit tree growing on a shallow bowl. For those of us who grew up in the 80s, it might spark memories of a David Sylvian side project.
Any reasonably knowledgeable person would know that Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was actually referring to a Petrie dish. This well-known piece of lab equipment was named after Rob Petrie, the main character on The Dick van Dyke Show, who was well known for leaving food out to spoil, usually with great comic effect, sometimes furthering research for a cure for a deadly disease.
We should not allow the malapropism (literally: use of the wrong stage object) to distract us from the really offensive part of her statement: that Bill Gates cares if people eat cheeseburgers. This is patently false. Bill Gates didn’t become mega-rich by micromanaging his efforts at world domination. One of the first things you learn when your goal is to rule the world is how to delegate the details to underlings; far too many would-be dictators burn out before they get their shot because they fuss over every detail of their master plan.
Honestly, if Greene is going to disparage Bill Gates’ efforts at world domination, she really should get her facts straight!
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]