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Headlines Called it a Strike, Then Called it an Early Night

It Goes To Eleven?


“This Energy Crisis Could Be Different”

New York Times


Unfortunately, Dim Adults Make Up The Majority Of Voters


“Ford wouldn’t get bright child’s vote”

Toronto Star


They’re Like Red Lectroids, But Without The Charm


“The secret personalities of red squirrels”

Toronto Star


Sounds Like My First Marriage


“Lots of police, and no hot tubs”

Toronto Star


Only If The Numpties Don’t Come Back, But What Are The Odds Of That?


“Space Tourism Could Aid Everyone”

New York Times


We’re A World Class Shitty


“The scoop on Toronto’s excess dog poo problem”

Toronto Star


You Don’t Have To Mean It – Let’s Not Get Crazy, Here – But She Doesn’t Have To Know That


“If she’s not interested, tell her you’ll move on”

Toronto Star


No Pic-a-nic Baskets Were Safe While It Was At Large!


“Experts defend killing of wandering polar bear”

Toronto Star


Ripping Pages Out Of Them And Throwing The Remains Against Walls Can Be Very Cathartic


“Books Can Help With Sorrow and Loss”

New York Times


Just Like The Ribs On The Barbecue Pick Up The Scent Of The Skunk-flavoured Sauce Of The Steaks Next To Them


“Ford rubbing off on parties”

Toronto Star


How’s Next Tuesday? Next Tuesday Good For You? I’ll Pencil It In…


“Now’s not the time for Canadians to be smug”

Toronto Star


Nobody Gets What They Were Promised And Customer Service Sucks
The World Already Doesn’t Work Just Fine, Thank You Very Much


“Forget phones, let’s upgrade the world”

Toronto Star


Others Turn It Into A Barbaric Political Movement


“Some People Turn Suffering Into wisdom”

New York Times


It’s The Cruellest Cutting It Of All


“Slashing taxes and hoping for growth just won’t cut it”

Toronto Star


It Depends On How Deeply You Bury It In The Present


“Embarrassing secret doesn’t limit future”

Toronto Star


You Want Another Chance At Killing Me?


“Australia Has a Message: Come Back”

New York Times


Will There Be A Card Congratulating Somebody For The Hairiness Of Their Palms?


“Pamper yourself this Valentine’s Day
Some believe it’s time to change the narrative of this Hallmark holiday and embrace self-love”

Toronto Star


Oh, Sure, Blame The Butterfly!


“Hoping for a butterfly effect”

Toronto Star


What Are You Talking About? The IOC Has Already Had Its Payoff!


“Still Waiting for Payoff From Games”

New York Times


Nobody Wants To Have A Mystic Knight On Their First Date


“Be yourself, sure, but leave the suit of armour and tarot cards at home”

Toronto Star


Actually, Nothing Is The Least The Government Can Do
And They’ve Had A Lot Of Practice At It


“Calling out profiteering is the least Ottawa can do”

Toronto Star


The Guano Leaves A Distinctive Trail…And Aroma


“Evidence of Smuggling Kangaroos”

New York Times


2002?


“Time to do right by care workers”

Toronto Star


Consider The Promises Already Made, Then Keep In Mind That There’s Still A Month To Go!


“Certain planks may be more memorable than credible”

Toronto Star

“NDP vows 1.5M homes over 10 years”


Toronto Star

“Liberals vow to bring back Grade 13”


Toronto Star

“Ford pledges $730M to make Durham GO”


Toronto Star

“Del Duca vows to add COVID jab to school inoculations”


Toronto Star

“PCs pledge to hike ODSP payments”


Toronto Star

“NDP vows more doctors in north”


Toronto Star

“PCs vow to resume Northlander trains”


Toronto Star

“Getting the Northlander back on track
All four parties vow the train service will return if they are elected. But will it finally happen?


Toronto Star

“Liberals, NDP pledge to bolster arts”


Toronto Star

“NDP vows to cut auto insurance by 40%”


Toronto Star


Are You Kidding? I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Reading O – Oh…


“Love of obituaries shows an appreciation for life”

Toronto Star


Pfizer Is Already Testing The Pill Form


“Macron’s Victory Is a Relief In Europe”

New York Times


These Are The Typos Off Which Editorial Nightmares Are Made


“Tips for stretching your food budget
The Star’s food reporter offers some helpful advice to shave a few dollars of your grocery bills”

Toronto Star


Not If They’re Doing It Well


“Family doctor a dying profession”

Toronto Star


Money’s Too Short To Work At A Job I Love


“Life’s too short to hate your job”

Toronto Star


Cats Need Bomb Defusing Training
Fortunately, They’re Easy To Train


“‘Exploding’ rat population worries residents”

Toronto Star


It’s Not? Damn! I’d Been Exercising My Thumbs For Months For Just Such An Occasion!


“The war in Ukraine is not a spectator sport”

Toronto Star


If We Think Hard Enough, We Might Come Across Something We’d Actually Be Willing To Do


“Thinking hard about where we’re going”

Toronto Star


1950s Nostalgia Is So Hot It’s Practically Nuclear!


“A return to the Cold War”

Toronto Star


If The Country Thinks Hard Enough, It May Stumble Across Something It Would Actually Be Willing To Do


“Germany Rethinks Reliance on Russian Gas”

New York Times


Who Says Canada Isn’t A Land Of Opportunity?


“Virus now has more opportunities to infect people”

Toronto Star


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