It Goes To Eleven?
“This Energy Crisis Could Be Different”
– New York Times
Unfortunately, Dim Adults Make Up The Majority Of Voters
“Ford wouldn’t get bright child’s vote”
– Toronto Star
They’re Like Red Lectroids, But Without The Charm
“The secret personalities of red squirrels”
– Toronto Star
Sounds Like My First Marriage
“Lots of police, and no hot tubs”
– Toronto Star
Only If The Numpties Don’t Come Back, But What Are The Odds Of That?
“Space Tourism Could Aid Everyone”
– New York Times
We’re A World Class Shitty
“The scoop on Toronto’s excess dog poo problem”
– Toronto Star
You Don’t Have To Mean It – Let’s Not Get Crazy, Here – But She Doesn’t Have To Know That
“If she’s not interested, tell her you’ll move on”
– Toronto Star
No Pic-a-nic Baskets Were Safe While It Was At Large!
“Experts defend killing of wandering polar bear”
– Toronto Star
Ripping Pages Out Of Them And Throwing The Remains Against Walls Can Be Very Cathartic
“Books Can Help With Sorrow and Loss”
– New York Times
Just Like The Ribs On The Barbecue Pick Up The Scent Of The Skunk-flavoured Sauce Of The Steaks Next To Them
“Ford rubbing off on parties”
– Toronto Star
How’s Next Tuesday? Next Tuesday Good For You? I’ll Pencil It In…
“Now’s not the time for Canadians to be smug”
– Toronto Star
Nobody Gets What They Were Promised And Customer Service Sucks
The World Already Doesn’t Work Just Fine, Thank You Very Much
“Forget phones, let’s upgrade the world”
– Toronto Star
Others Turn It Into A Barbaric Political Movement
“Some People Turn Suffering Into wisdom”
– New York Times
It’s The Cruellest Cutting It Of All
“Slashing taxes and hoping for growth just won’t cut it”
– Toronto Star
It Depends On How Deeply You Bury It In The Present
“Embarrassing secret doesn’t limit future”
– Toronto Star
You Want Another Chance At Killing Me?
“Australia Has a Message: Come Back”
– New York Times
Will There Be A Card Congratulating Somebody For The Hairiness Of Their Palms?
“Pamper yourself this Valentine’s Day
Some believe it’s time to change the narrative of this Hallmark holiday and embrace self-love”
– Toronto Star
Oh, Sure, Blame The Butterfly!
“Hoping for a butterfly effect”
– Toronto Star
What Are You Talking About? The IOC Has Already Had Its Payoff!
“Still Waiting for Payoff From Games”
– New York Times
Nobody Wants To Have A Mystic Knight On Their First Date
“Be yourself, sure, but leave the suit of armour and tarot cards at home”
– Toronto Star
Actually, Nothing Is The Least The Government Can Do
And They’ve Had A Lot Of Practice At It
“Calling out profiteering is the least Ottawa can do”
– Toronto Star
The Guano Leaves A Distinctive Trail…And Aroma
“Evidence of Smuggling Kangaroos”
– New York Times
2002?
“Time to do right by care workers”
– Toronto Star
Consider The Promises Already Made, Then Keep In Mind That There’s Still A Month To Go!
“Certain planks may be more memorable than credible”
– Toronto Star
“NDP vows 1.5M homes over 10 years”
– Toronto Star
“Liberals vow to bring back Grade 13”
– Toronto Star
“Ford pledges $730M to make Durham GO”
– Toronto Star
“Del Duca vows to add COVID jab to school inoculations”
– Toronto Star
“PCs pledge to hike ODSP payments”
– Toronto Star
“NDP vows more doctors in north”
– Toronto Star
“PCs vow to resume Northlander trains”
– Toronto Star
“Getting the Northlander back on track
All four parties vow the train service will return if they are elected. But will it finally happen?
– Toronto Star
“Liberals, NDP pledge to bolster arts”
– Toronto Star
“NDP vows to cut auto insurance by 40%”
– Toronto Star
Are You Kidding? I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Reading O – Oh…
“Love of obituaries shows an appreciation for life”
– Toronto Star
Pfizer Is Already Testing The Pill Form
“Macron’s Victory Is a Relief In Europe”
– New York Times
These Are The Typos Off Which Editorial Nightmares Are Made
“Tips for stretching your food budget
The Star’s food reporter offers some helpful advice to shave a few dollars of your grocery bills”
– Toronto Star
Not If They’re Doing It Well
“Family doctor a dying profession”
– Toronto Star
Money’s Too Short To Work At A Job I Love
“Life’s too short to hate your job”
– Toronto Star
Cats Need Bomb Defusing Training
Fortunately, They’re Easy To Train
“‘Exploding’ rat population worries residents”
– Toronto Star
It’s Not? Damn! I’d Been Exercising My Thumbs For Months For Just Such An Occasion!
“The war in Ukraine is not a spectator sport”
– Toronto Star
If We Think Hard Enough, We Might Come Across Something We’d Actually Be Willing To Do
“Thinking hard about where we’re going”
– Toronto Star
1950s Nostalgia Is So Hot It’s Practically Nuclear!
“A return to the Cold War”
– Toronto Star
If The Country Thinks Hard Enough, It May Stumble Across Something It Would Actually Be Willing To Do
“Germany Rethinks Reliance on Russian Gas”
– New York Times
Who Says Canada Isn’t A Land Of Opportunity?
“Virus now has more opportunities to infect people”
– Toronto Star