Thank you, Vishnu Escobar, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. DID YOU KNOW: Anthrax doesn’t kill immediately, but makes tiny pustules break out all over your body and slowly fills your lungs with fluid?
Enjoy,I read the first six words of Blink, Malcolm Gladwell’s book on trusting one’s first impressions. My first impression from those six words was that it was poorly argued, written in excruciatingly pedestrian prose, and contained an argument that could only encourage people to make stupid decisions. I read the next three words, but they only confirmed my first impression.
Then, I put the book down to write my review.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
Even Doctor Phil Couldn’t Help This Relationship
CANADA: I’m ready to negotiate a role in missile defense.
UNITED STATES: Okay.
CANADA: No, really. I want to talk to you about missile defense.
UNITED STATES: That’s nice.
CANADA: I mean, I really want to talk about missile defense.
UNITED STATES: Maybe some other time.
CANADA: But…but…but I’M READY. I thought you’ve been waiting for this for years!
UNITED STATES: Don’t be so impressed with yourself. When I’m ready, I’ll let you know.
CANADA: But – well – okay, but don’t wait too long. I may not be in the mood in a year or two…
SOURCE: Drew’s Transcript-o-rama
How Does It Feel Now That The Shoe’s On The Other Testicle?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
After the publication of an article on the takeover of American port functions by Dubai Port World last week, I was accused of Arab bashing. This is simply not true. I have a lot of respect for the entrepreneurial spirit of many Middle Eastern Arabs. Moreover, I have consistently argued in favour of the rights of Arabs to free elections, freedom of speech, freedom from having electrodes placed on their genitals, etc. I would have to say that I believe the record will show that I have been very supportive of Arabs over the years.
The article was, actually, a case of Bush bashing.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
FRANK: It’s about time a major Canadian corporation used a classic Canadian symbol to sell its products.
GORDON: What would that be, Frank?
FRANK: Us, Gordon. Beavers.
GORDON: Oh, right, right, right. We’re truly Canadian because the Hudson’s Bay Company, the epitome of Canadianness, was founded on the trade in beaver pelts.
FRANK: Uhh, well, actually, Hudson’s Bay is no longer a Canadian company.
GORDON: No?
FRANK: It was recently sold to an American firm.
GORDON: Oh. But, still, we’re Canadian because people still need beaver coats and hats to keep them warm during Canada’s long, cold winters.
FRANK: Well, uhh, as a matter of fact, Canadian winters are becoming increasingly mild, so, a majority of Canadians don’t have to dress as warmly as they used to. It’s a global warming thing.
GORDON: Okay, but…but we’re still on the nickel, right? Right?
FRANK: Sure. Until the Canadian mint phases out small coins because inflation has rendered them essentially worthless.
GORDON: You…you’re scaring me, Frank.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
It’s A Matter Of Public Record, Mike
In testimony at the hearing into the killing of a peaceful native protestor by the RCMP at Ipperwash, Mike Harris, premier of Ontario at the time, denied that he made a racial slur against natives when he heard about the protest. He went on to deny that he had told the RCMP to take whatever steps necessary to end the protest.
Harris was about to deny that he had ever been Premier of the province when his lawyer leaned over and counseled him otherwise.
SOURCE: aye Weakly
Heckuva Job Carrilloie…Uhh, Rodriguezie? Melchorie?
Mexican police investigating the murders of Canadians Domenico and Annunziata Ianiero have backtracked on their initial pronouncements that the deaths were a professional hit by people involved with international crime. The fact that the victims were of Italian descent was apparently not sufficient evidence to sustain the claim.
The current theory is that the Ianieros were killed by aliens as part of an intergalactic war for control of earth’s oxygen. “Unfortunately,” Mexican state prosecutor Bello Melchor Rodriguez y Carrillo commented, “Mexico has no extradition treaty with Mars, so I’m not sure there’s anything more we can do…”
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
Oh, Why Don’t They Just Get A Room!
The Globe and Mail devoted over two full pages to articles on General Rick Hillier’s justification for sending Canadian troops to fight in Afghanistan, including a fawning editorial. We might have been more convinced if the war on terror was an actual war, with, you know, an identifiable enemy in an actual territory, instead of, like, some chicken hawk’s wet dream of perpetual militarism.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
Muslim Extremism Under Attack!
ACTION ALERT ACTION ALERT ACTION A – YOU GET THE IDEA
A cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed as a terrorist has ignited waves of violent protest in the Muslim world.
Okay, we’d be the first to admit that we don’t always get Muslims. They dress kind of odd and they speak in languages we don’t understand. And, frankly, some of their customs seem downright strange.
But, we do understand religious intolerance when we are confronted by it, AND OUR MANDATE IS TO SUPPORT IT WHEREVER IN THE WORLD IT TAKES PLACE. So, drop everything you are doing and buy a ticket to Peshawar to support rioting Pakistani Muslims. You’ll know them when you see them – they’re the ones burning down a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.
SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders