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Enjoy,This Headline Supports Our Troops
Liberals want to talk about what the President knew about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction before he took us into war. I’d like to remind them of a little thing called 9/11 – that’s what the President knew, and that’s all the President needed to know! It must be a strange malady – Bleeding Heart Amnesia – that makes Liberals forget all about the first Gulf War – if that taught us nothing else, it was that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and he wasn’t afraid to use them! Not good enough for you? Remember a little thing called World War Two? Remember a sub-little thing called Pearl Harbour? You wanted us to wait for another one of those massacres? How about a little thing I like to call The Crusades? F*ck turning the other cheek! You take the battle to the Infidel and you give him hell, brother! You give him hell! And, for another thing, has everybody already forgotten the Peloponnesian War? Come on, people! I’m talking about the Peloponnesian War, here! I mean…I mean…
What the hell am I talking about?
Aww, who cares? It’s all the liberals’ fault, anyway.
SOURCE: The O’Meilly Factor
Tough Call
Polls showing a majority of Americans believe that the Iraq War was a mistake are missing the point: Iraq is better off now than it was under Saddam Hussein’s rule. Don’t believe me? Consider this comparison of conditions before and after the American occupation:
| Before Occupation | After Occupation |
|---|---|
| citizens disappeared | citizens disappear |
| citizens had regular electricity | citizens don’t have regular electricity |
| citizens were tortured | citizens are tortured |
| citizens were gassed | citizen are gassed |
| citizens had fresh water | citizens don’t have fresh water |
| the country had a secular dictatorship | the country has a looming theocracy |
| terror came from the government | terror comes from anywhere and everywhere |
I don’t know how much simpler I can make it: the war has made life better for the majority of Iraqis! Can we move on, now, please?
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
An Illuminating Debate
JOHN DOYLE takes a few withering jabs at illuminated manuscript mediocrity. RICK GROEN replies with adept counterpunches at the products of the printing press. And the winner is…
DOYLE: With respect, illuminated manuscripts are rubbish. The printing press has made it possible for all manner of new literary forms to emerge. Good literary forms. Popular literary forms. It gives people the entertainment they want, instead of what the church hierarchy thinks is good for them. If you don’t like print books, you just don’t like people.
GROEN: With even more respect, you’re a dolt. Yes, many new forms of literature have emerged thanks to the printing press. Pornography springs to mind. And, it isn’t even good pornography – the quality of print as compared to that of the illuminated manuscript – well, it just sucks! Unlike hand transcribing of individual works, once you’ve made a typesetting error, it stays with you through every edition! And, don’t even get me started about your populist nonsense – long after the first works of the printing press are forgotten, Shakespeare’s first folio are going to live on in our memories and our hearts!
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
Cynicism 101
same (adjective): being one without addition, change, or discontinuance; identical; corresponding so closely as to be indistinguishable
QUESTION FOR THE CLASS: by what definition are access to raw intelligence and access to a three page report that cherry picks data from the raw intelligence the same?
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
How Dare You? There’s Nothing Common About Conrad Black!
After last week’s indictment of Conrad Black on charges that he diverted tens of millions of dollars of company funds into his own pockets, Henry Kissinger and Richard Perle have announced that they will be stepping down as members of the Hollinger board of directors. This makes perfect sense. War criminals cannot hang out with common criminals – it would bring their social status way down.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
Looking More Like Moe Howard Every Day
President Bush, during a trip to China to browbeat the Communist government into being more like the United States was 40 years ago, tried to flee a journalist who asked whether he brought his best game to the trip, but was foiled when the large double doors he tried to walk through proved to be locked. And, I thought, how typical! Why do people expect the President to have an exit strategy from Iraq when he doesn’t even have an [EXPLETIVE DELETED] exit strategy from a conference room?
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
Children Don’t Smoke Tattoos…Yet…
Publisher HarperCollins has announced that it will digitally remove a cigarette from the hand of Clement Hurd in his photograph as illustrator of the children’s classic Goodnight Moon. Strangely, though, the publisher isn’t planning on doing anything about the skull and crossbones tattooed on Hurd’s left shoulder, or the signed autograph of Adolph Hitler in the background.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
I Feel Safer
In an effort to short-circuit the Supreme Court’s plan to examine the legality of holding prisoners indefinitely without charges, the United States charged Jose Padilla with three counts of aggravated jaywalking and one count of conspiracy to jaywalk.
While these charges aren’t as serious as the ones Padilla was being held on – plotting to detonate a “dirty bomb” to contaminate an American city with radioactivity – Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld explained, “He is a bad man who was planning on doing bad things. Since he was arrested, motorists can drive a little more easily knowing that he won’t be jumping out of an intersection at them against the light.”
SOURCE: The Postington Wash