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Enjoy,You’ll Tap Your Toes While Tossing Your Cookies
365 Reasons to abuse: Toronto Startle
Reason #263: Crass Exploitation of Human Misery
Coco Colouring Contest
WIN 4 tickets to see Starvation! The Musical
How to enter:
1) Download the image of Coco, the adorable African gamine with the distended belly and impossibly big eyes at www.thestartle.com/exploitativecontests. 2) Print your name, age, home address, telephone number, debit card PIN, email address (if applicable), body type (if desirable) and the names of 27 references on a separate piece of paper. Then: throw it away and give the money you would have spent on the outrageously overpriced show to African famine relief, you smug bastard!
SOURCE: The Toronto Startle
please, sir, can I have…some more
Progress Measured In A Cocaine Spoon
In the run-up to the election in Afghanistan, one citizen commented: “The Communists were looters and murderers, so our people went to the mountains and fought them. Then those people came back, and they looted and murdered. Now the people are ready for something else.”
Would that be warlords who sell drugs, loot and murder?
SOURCE: The Non-existent Pages
Just Another Week: Limp, Damp And Bug-eyed
MONDAY: If, as Brian Mulroney argues, Kim Campbell was responsible for the disastrous showing of the Conservative Party in the 1993 election a couple of months after he stepped down as leader, why isn’t she the most hated former Prime Minister in Canada?
TUESDAY: Nobody can say that President Bush was slow in reacting to Hurricane Katrina – he immediately refused to allow Cuba to send over 100 doctors to the stricken area! Now, that’s leadership!
WEDNESDAY: The President says he will pay for reconstructing New Orleans, although he doesn’t say where the money is going to come from. Well, you know what they say: a hundred billion here and a hundred billion there and pretty soon it adds up to – oh, my god, isn’t it real money yet?
THURSDAY: It is well known that President Bush declared a state of emergency in New Orleans two days before Hurricane Katrina hit. What’s not as well known is that he awarded the first non-competitive reconstruction contract to Halliburton a day before it arrived. Yes, nobody can say that the President was slow in reacting to Hurricane Katrina!
FRIDAY: Is it just me, or is city councilor Tom Jacobek looking more and more like Marty Feldman?
SATURDAY: If it is just me, is there a therapy I can go through?
SUNDAY: Why are there unanswerable questions in the world?
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
Because You Don’t Have Ti –
Just Like Heaven – HellishSOURCE: Five Second Movie Reviews
Bet They Move Well In The Middle Of A Plague Of Frogs
3x2 + x + 27) Dozens of the Louisiana National Guards’ high-water vehicles, humvees, refuelers and generators have been sent abroad. Why do they need high-water vehicles in Iraq, which is primarily a desert?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
Sounds Like It Should Get Its Own Telethon
Hurricane relief. Famine relief. Tax relief?
Which of these things doesn’t belong with the others? Using the term “tax relief” makes starving public coffers (and the programmes that they fund) in order to further line the pockets of the wealthy sound…humanitarian. How much differently would the public think about tax cuts if headlines screamed about “tax disaster,” “tax slaughter” or “absolute tax massacre?”
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
As If Only
This fall, style anarchy rules. It’s a lawless season where no-nonsense mannequins throw bombs at members of the audience of their runway shows, where chic designers create clothes with enough room to conceal AK47s, where the fashion press distributes mimeographed anonymous tracts arguing in favour of tearing down the beauty myth and the oppressive international structures that support it.
The unconventional mix of Chanel and Che, of Mabeline and Mao, of Stella McCartney and…and…Stelarc? – has become a way of taking life. Whether concocting a shrimp cocktail or a Molotov cocktail, today’s woman is prepared to go to dark, dark places. The only thing that limits dressing to kill this season is your own desire to die for the cause.
Or, I may just be getting carried away.
SOURCE: Toronto High Life
Who Can Fathom The Arab Mind?
Construction work on some water plants in Iraq will be halted because the money that could have gone to finish them has had to be redirected to pay for weapons and the training of Iraqi troops. Although no overall figures are available, one contractor has stopped work on six of eight water treatment plants to which it was assigned
In order to help parched Iraqis, Louisiana governor Kathleen Blanco has offered to ship tankers full of water from New Orleans to Baghdad. “We’ve got more than we need,” Blanco stated. “They’ve got less than they need. It seems like in a win-win solution. They should take our water. Take it. Now.”
A win-win situation…and yet, for some inexplicable reason, Iraq has refused to take the New Orleans water. I mean, what’s a little dioxin or heavy metal when you’re dying of dehydration, right? Ungrateful swine. New Orleans should just keep its water. That’ll teach...somebody…something…
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor