Thank you, Collingwood Ackack, PhP, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard that Les Pages aux Folles, one of the few web sites we don't actually detest, would soon be celebrating its 20th anniversary. Twenty years of weekly updates - that's must be some kind of record for a humour web site created by a single person. (We know, we know: if we had qualified it any more, the description could run for President! Just...go with it.) So, we thought that maybe it should be in the Guinness Book of World Records. We were going to suggest it when we realized that if it was accepted, it would probably lie between the record for Most Potatoes Cut By Jumping on a Shovel in One Minute and Longest Metal Coil Passed Through the Nose and Out of the Mouth.
And we thought, There's nothing wrong with settling for the personal satisfaction of a job well done.
Enjoy,Because Who Doesn't Enjoy A Good Dirty (Truth) Limerick?
If you want killings in racialized communities to decrease[http://www.(^!$%!$.htm#_)!(*)!*)*)*.htm#%!&&%(.com/index.html]
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How Hard Did You Have To Milk The Crocodile For Those Tears?
Dr. Mehmet OzSOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/off-to-see-the-not-so-wonderful-wizard/]
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Here, For Your Edumacation, Are Today's Top Market Musk Buys
Elon Musk announces he will buy Twitter. Twitter stock goes up. Elon Musk says he is reconsidering buying Twitter because...reasons. Twitter stock goes down. Market watchers say Twitter stock was overvalued even before Elon Musk entered the picture and could we please, please, please get back to fundamentals?
I don't know. It seems to me that human greed and stupidity are as fundamental as it gets!
SOURCE: Women's Wear Daily Worker
[http://www.wwdw.com/content/1&ID=%25%22%2DT%2FRE%2C%20%0A&type=a&mr=332&CFID=723762&CFTOKIN=13757048]
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Off The Cuff And Into The Gutter
In a press conference yesterday, Texas governor Gregg Abbott said that "ever since Texas has been a state, an 18 year-old has had the ability to buy a long gun, a rifle. And since that time, it seems like it's only been in the past decade or two we've had school shootings."
When it was pointed out that a mass shooting had taken place in Texas in 1966, Abbott angrily shouted, "I was misled by historians. I am livid about what happened. Damn historians need to get their facts straight!"
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2022/05/26/national/main542815.shtml]
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If You're Not Part Of The Solution, You're Made Up Of The Wrong Chemicals
Insurance company State Farm, which recently suspended its support of GenderCool, a philanthropic programme that provided LGBTQ-themed children's books to teachers and libraries, has announced that its Chief Diversity Officer will now be known as its "Chief Adversity Officer."
"When the company decided that discussions of sexuality should best be left to parents, my position suddenly became redundant," Victor Terry wrote in an email to staff. "I'm glad we were able to rethink the position to allow me to continue doing my job: pandering to the gay community with empty rhetoric."
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1426742800288760.xml]
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He Is A Public Servant Who Truly Knows Which Side Of The Aisle His Bread Is Buttered On
THIS WEEK IN DEMAGOGUERY: Democratic Senator Joe Manchin says he would do "anything I can" to move "common sense" gun legislation forward. Except, of course, for doing anything to move common sense gun legislation forward.
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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American oil companies are bristling at allegations that they are keeping production low in order to maximize profits.
"Secret price gouging? Absolutely not!" argued Ben Shepperd, president of the Permian Basin Petroleum Association of Midland, Texas. "We're completely open about our price gouging! We may be avaricious, but at least we're honest!"
Consumer advocates were left speechless.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ddccd7-f6f3-1f1f-9f25-a2eb1cc6a526]
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Doctor Oz Might Have A Second Opinion You Would Want To Run Away Screaming From
In order to keep former President Donald Trump alive, the Secret Service has decided that nobody will be allowed to bring guns to his speech at the National Rifle Association's annual meeting in Texas. The Absurd Ironyometer feels a migraine coming on, but it's pretty sure that putting more guns in the waiting rooms of doctors is not going to help.
SOURCE: Big Alex' Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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Not While Thomas Dolby Is Still Around, They Ain't!
Vangelis, the Greek electronic composer best known for scoring films Chariots of Fire and Blade Runner, has died at the age of 79. Andy Fletcher, keyboardist for the electronic band Depeche Mode, known for such hit singles as "People Are People" and "Everything Counts," has died at the age of 60 of natural causes.
The eighties really are over.
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Somber evening as Cecilia & I joined Uvalde to mourn the loss of innocent lives.
We honored the beautiful children & teachers stolen from us.
This horrific tragedy has torn the fabric of this community.
Together, Texans will ensure it is not ripped apart.
Greg AbbottI'm EMBARRASSED: Texas #2 in nation for new gun purchases behind CALIFORNIA. Let's pick up the pace Texans. @NRA
SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/heeeeeeeeeeeey-abbott/]
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