The Daily Me - theleverthatticcklestheworld

Thank you, theleverthatticcklestheworld, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard that former President Donald Trump had raised $1.6 billion for a media company called Truth Social. Trump at the head of his own political propaganda machine? We were afraid. We were very afraid.

But, then, we learned that Trump had chosen soon to be former congressman Devin Nunes to run it, and we laughed at ourselves for being so silly.

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

I'd Throw The Book At Them, But They Would Probably Use It

CHUCK: Buck.

BUCK: Chuck.

CHUCK: Winter's comin'.

BUCK: Aah...yep.

CHUCK: You gonna be able to heat yer house this year?

BUCK: Sure.

CHUCK: What with? Can't hardly use oil or electricity - too expensive.

BUCK: Got me a cheap source of fuel, Chuck.

CHUCK: What's that, Buck?

BUCK: Books.

CHUCK: Books, Chuck?

BUCK: Books, Buck. You can get 'em for pennies on the dollar, and they burn good. Burn real good.

CHUCK: Can you recommend some?

BUCK: Wuuuuhl, Call Me By Your Name is popular with a lot of people these days - it burns bright and it burns clean. But I'm a traditionalist at heart. Give me The Handmaid's Tale or To Kill a Mockingbird. They may not be as clean when they burn, but they are dependable, and you can't say that about much these days.

CHUCK: No, you really can't. But what if I can't get a classic?

BUCK: Take whatever you can get. The Bluest Eye, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, hell, even Fences. The point is: you don't want to freeze to death just because some radical free speecher says we shouldn't stick with traditional fuels!

SOURCE: Weekends!

[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=227742]
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Was That Catty Of Me To Say?

At the age of 69, the author of Ain't I a Woman?: Black Women and Feminism hooks has died. The fat cats who run the white supremacist patriarchy are relieved that they will no longer be belled.

SOURCE: Obits 'R Us

[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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What A Missed Opportunity!
If They Had Just Put The Flaming Tree IN The Dumpster With The Network, Everybody Could Have Been Satisfied

To celebrate the holidays, the Christmas tree in front of Fox News headquarters in New York was set on fire. Hey! - we all celebrate in our own ways! Although the tree was quickly doused, the flames of controversy around the action blaze on.

"The war on Christmas just became a shooting war!" exclaimed Sean "Puff Ego" Hannity. "If we aren't prepared to fight, this country will lose its Christian character!"

"Could Critical Race Theory be behind the Fox Christmas tree immolation?" Tucker "Ed Out" Carlson innocently wondered. "I always said CRT was volatile, but I didn't know it was so combustible until yesterday!"

Critics of the right wing propaganda channel masquerading as a source of news also weighed in on the conflagration. "People should be clear," stated Chris Wallaced, "that the most dangerous fire is the network in the dumpster, not the tree in front of offices!"

SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review

[http://www.xuniversity.ca/jr/online/daedalus-donner1.html]
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Usually Followed By A Court Ordered Redisunprivileging

To disunprivilege (verb): to claim privilege on matters you had already previously publicly communicated. EXAMPLE: "Former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows is refusing to answer questions about January 6, claiming any communications he had on that day are covered by executive privilege. Hadn't he already given thousands of documents to the committee investigating the riot? Oh, and didn't he just publish a book where he very publicly discussed those events? Man, I haven't seen such a blatant disunpriveleging since Nero refused to talk to the Senate about his selection of fiddle tunes!"

SOURCE: The Dust Devil's Dictionary

[http://www.thedustdevilsdictionary.com/?D]
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Don't Tithe Your Local Church

"How to shop ethically this holiday" - Toronto Star

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=2388533529]
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Of Course, If I Were Either Of Them, I Would Have Committed Seppuku Long Ago

Senator Rand Paul sent a letter to President Biden asking for immediate relief for Kentucky after it had been hit by a series of devastating tornadoes. Okay. The federal government is good at providing such help, and Senator Paul wouldn't be properly representing his constituents if he didn't push for the state to get it.

Except...

Until now, Senator Paul never met a government disaster relief package he didn't loathe. In 2013, he voted against a relief package for areas of the country hit by Superstorm Sandy. In 2017, he voted against aid for Louisiana and Texas, which had been hit by Hurricane Harvey.

With this action, Paul, who may have been a batshit crazy extremist, but was at least a consistent batshit crazy extremist, has vaulted towards the top of the Hypocrisy Leader Board. He still trails Mark Meadows, whose opposition to Hillary Clinton using private email servers for government business didn't stop him from using private email servers when he was then-President Donald Trump's Chief of Staff. And nobody is likely to catch Mitch McConnell, who really should have a board of his own, who recently said that he appreciated the work the 1/6 Commission is doing even though he did everything in his power to stop it from happening.

If I were Meadows and McConnell, I would be looking over my shoulder...

SOURCE: Big Alex' Domesday Countdown Page

[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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Did You Check Under The Sofa Cushions In The Living Room?

9pm
Discovery
In Search of...

In this episode, Leonard Nimoy goes looking for positive coverage of the Biden Administration in the media. Downward trending unemployment and child poverty being been cut by as much as half are just two of the benefits of multi-trillion dollar government programmes, but you wouldn't know it from news outlets. "Positive reports in the news about the successes of the Biden government my be rarer than footage of Bigfoot," Nimoy opens the show, "but I didn't agree to host this series because I thought it was going to be easy!"

SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide

[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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You Don't Like The Pun?
I Iel Your Pain

For the French, everything has a gender: chairs, streets, the net on the football (really: soccer, but you didn't hear that from me) field at their children's high school, their children's high school - everything.

This would explain why French authorities are in an uproar over the use of the non-binary pronoun "iel" to refer to people who do not identify strictly as male or female. For them, it is an iel wind that blows no good.

SOURCE: Michelle's Obscure Pedantry Page

[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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