Thank you, Poppa Wheelie, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we read that York Region is considering making Canada's Wonderland the site of a COVID-19 vaccine drive-thru. Brilliant! If we can get our cars onto the Leviathan, we could probably trick our children into getting vaccinated! Grab some cotton candy at a kiosk, and we can make an afternoon of it!
Enjoy,
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=999&dir=bb]
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To Be Fair, His Absence From The State Was Probably More Helpful Than His Presence Would Have Been
Two days after the Texas energy grid collapsed because of cold weather, leaving people throughout the state without power during freakishly cold temperatures, Senator Ted Cruz showed his compassion for his constituents by flying to Cancun, Mexico with his family. He returned to Texas a day later after a national outcry, but what did his constituents think of his action?
"He works hard. He deserves a break. Good on him."
"Yeah, I would have gone away too, if I could. It's been hell, here, man. Sheer hell. Good on him."
"I believe him when he says he was doing it for his daughters - he's a real family man. Good on him."
"The great thing about being known as a bastard," Cruz explained, "is that people aren't surprised when you pull shit like this. In fact, they kind of expect it."
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/newyork/2021-02-19-cruz-in-for-a-bruisin_x.htm]
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My Literary Regressive Apparatus
The ways my copy of Hugh A. D. Spencer's The Progressive Apparatus and More Fantasticals was injured while I was reading it*:
1. In a bathroom in the Sheppard subway station, I was trying to pee with the book under my arm. It fell to the floor. A corner of the front cover and the first six pages of the book were slightly curled.
2. Reading while eating pancakes - not the brightest idea I've ever had, but I was hungry for physical as well as intellectual sustenance. Pages 26 and 27 now have a splotch of syrup, and will likely be stuck together permanently. In retrospect, I'm sorry it wasn't maple syrup, but this is not the sort of thing one plans for. Not this one, anyway.
3. Threw the book at my roommate, who wouldn't shut up about how much he hated WandaVision. He deserved it - the book, not so much. Creased pages 122 to 139.
4. Reading too enthusiastically, I forgot the 45 degree rule. Spine was cracked.
5. Got caught in the middle of an alien invasion while walking to the store with book in my back pocket. While dodging weapons looking for cover, was hit in the ass by a laser beam and thrown 10 feet. Book took most of the damage: a small, charred hole through the top of the front cover and pages to 177. (Fortunately, my butt was saved, so I will be able to sit without pain. ALSO: Air Force destroyed the alien craft, so I was able to get home in time for dinner.)
6. Out walking when a rainstorm broke out. Forgot that my backpack isn't waterproof. Top right corner of all of the pages are now wrinkled.
* Some incidents may have been exaggerated for dramatic effect.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Some Politicians Don't Need Extreme Weather To Be Cold...Cold As Ice...
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Hate - Speaking Of Things You Can't Take With You When You Go...
Right-wing radio legend Rush Limbaugh has died of cancer at the age of 70. Or, is that what they want you to think? Hillary and her army of Feminazis have been dreaming of the day when they wouldn't have to do battle with their number one enemy - who's to say that they haven't kidnapped him and are holding him in an undisclosed location, an action bankrolled by George Soros and the Rothschild family? Have you seen anything that would contradict that version of events? If Limbaugh really has passed on, let's see his death certificate. That would prove it once and for all...unless it didn't. Until the truth of Limbaugh's "death" is made public, support President Trump to make America great again!
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Icahn See For Miles
The Trump Plaza casino in Atlantic City was put out of its misery when a controlled explosion reduced it to a smoking pile of rubble. It had been empty for nine years, falling into such disrepair that chunks of the building began peeling off and crashing to the ground, threatening innocent passersby.
"Metaphors are for losers," the former President is rumoured to have responded to the news. "I know it. You know it. People who like their steaks blue know it. Show me somebody who appreciates subtext, and I'll show you somebody who never learned how to keep multiple sets of books for different government regulatory bodies!"
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ddccd1-f6f3-4f4f-9f10-a2eb4cc6a001]
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I Would Defend Her Right To Say Offensive Things, But I Seriously Doubt She Would Reciprocate By Defending My Right To Make Fun Of Her For Saying Offensive Things
Gina Carano was fired from The Mandalorian and banned from working on any future Disney projects after sharing a video which claimed that the treatment of conservatives today was like the treatment of Jews during the Holocaust. In crowing about her new project, a film for the conservative news outlet The Daily Wire, Carano wrote, "This is just the beginning...welcome to the rebellion."
Even actors who want to be able to express unpopular political opinions without consequence have to settle.
YOU WANT: to think of yourself as Princess Leia.
YOU'LL SETTLE FOR: the public thinking of you as one of the unnamed X-Wing pilots of the rebellion.
YOU'LL GET: being a nameless Imperial Stormtrooper who couldn't hit anything with a laser shotgun and ends up being killed by Princess Leia.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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