Thank you, Orissa Chattisgarh Nandigram, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. It is common practice for publications to do a year-end review at this time. On the one hand, so many news organizations are doing it, there doesn't seem to be any news item, no matt5er how trivial, that hasn't been reviewed, re-reviewed and, frankly, chewed over until it has the taste and consistency of nursing home food. On the other hand, it's easy. And, it's cheap. Irresistibly so. So, to celebrate the year just about ended, we offer the Daily Me's 2008 review:
It sucked. Please don't make us go through a year like that again. It really reeked.
Enjoy,Ode To The Dearly Departisaned
An ad in the National Post sponsored by the National Citizens Coalition against the Liberal-NDP coalition had the tag line: "ENOUGH is ENOUGH ... This is no time for partisan politics!"
The Absurd Ironyometer is looking over the edge of the abyss. Nice view. Still, with all due respect to the NCC, it would rather not jump.
SOURCE: Big Alex' Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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The Letter U And The Number 235
A new Congressional report has confirmed that then White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales, with the knowledge of the White House, lied to Congress in 2004 when he told them the Bush Administration was not repeatedly warned by the CIA not to make the claim that Saddam had tried to buy uranium ore from Niger.
This lie had been so well known in Washington for so long, that not even Keith Olbermann could summon up any outrage over it.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2007Jan01.html]
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Ruble Without Applause
The Russian ruble has been devalued eight times in the past month. Some economists are calling it "an indication of serious problems with the country's economy."
Russian citizens are just calling it "nostalgia."
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2008/ALLPOLITICS/12/28/reps.main/index.html]
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If It's In French...You're Probably Not Even Reading This
You know, time was when you could identify a radio station by its playlist, because each station played a unique mix of songs. Or, uhh, at least, that's what our older, less hip brother tells us.
Today, it seems like every station is playing either Metallica or AC/DC. How can you tell them apart? Listen for the songs that the station plays around the Metallica or AC/DC
If it plays Bauhaus as well as Metallica, it's probably CFNY.
If it plays Celine Dion as well as AC/DC, it's probably CHUM FM.
If it plays Rush as well as Metallica, it's probably 107.
If it plays Erykah Badu or Jamiroquai as well as AC/DC, it's probably a college radio station (but, not a very good one).
If it plays The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band as well as Metallica, it's probably your kid brother micro-transmitting from your basement. Expect a stern letter from the CRTC very, very soon.
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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Justice Is What You Get Away With When The Media Aren't Looking
Crime and Retirement
The rule of law? Oh, how quaintSOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/248.html]
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No Man Is A Cronies Island
According to your editorial, the fact that the Stephen Harper Conservatives have appointed 18 cronies to the Senate indicates that they have abandoned the principle of an elected upper chamber. Nothing could be further from the truth!
The appointment of the 18 Senators indicates that Harper has abandoned the idea that his party will rule when Parliament returns from being prorogued. If your newspaper didn't have such a Liberal bias, you would have seen this more clearly!
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=5448591831813&call_pageid=972335278492&col=968646972154]
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Son Of A Blagojevich! No, Wait, That Almost Works...
Despite promising not to, Illinois Governor Rod "mother-Blagojevicher" Blagojevich has appointed somebody to fill Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. The somebody is former state Attorney-General, all-round election loser and man who sounds like he could have been a character in a Raymond Chandler novel, Roland Burris.
On a scale of one to five, how awkward is this for the Obama government, which vowed on principle not to accept any appointment made by the Governor who tried to sell the Senate seat on eBay?
1. Kiss your grandmother on the lips at the family holiday party awkward.SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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Author Was 78
Harold PinterSOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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The First Political Memoirs To Be A Colouring Book
"God spanked us."
President George W. Bush, touring the country in the final months of his presidency, has publicly assessed his legacy. His argument is that, since it was god's will that the Republicans were put into power under his leadership in 2000, it must be god's will that they lost control of Congress in 2006 and they lost the White House in 2008.
"The way he explained it to me," Bush, who has claimed god speaks directly to him, told Charlie Gibson, "see, I can't really repeat it on TV. Children may be watchin'. Alls I can say is he wasn't exactly pleased with the way we ran the country. I'm not really too sure why, but maybe figuring stuff like that out's what writing your memoirs is all about..."
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32320641314680014687fx]
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