“Unemployment? Unemployment is a state of mind – no, a state of being. You want to change your employment status? You must change your attitude towards employment. No more of this sour Sol or grumpy Gottfried. To succeed in today’s marketplace, you have to focus, focus, focus on your goal, and your goal is to make your employer feel like you are having the time of your life!”
“What’s your name, friend?”
“Solomon Gottfried, but my friends call me Sol.”
“Wasn’t I just talking about you?”
“But, seriously, Sol, you’re here because you’re out of a job. How long have you been out of a job?”
“Six months, Pat.”
“Why is it that you’re unemployed, Sol?”
“The company I worked for for over 20 years moved its manufacturing to China, making hundreds of managers redund –”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! See, that’s outer-directed thinking, Sol! That’s blaming others! We don’t blame others here! The blame game has no place in a healthy attitude towards work! No, here, we practice inner-directed thinking. If you’ve been fired, it’s because you weren’t good enough!”
“I thought you said the blame game has no pla –”
“Look at yourself, Sol. Look at you sitting here.”
“Got a mirror?”
“You see, that’s exactly the kind of attitude that employers don’t want. You sit slumped in your chair – were you born with that scowl? I mean, honestly, contempt oozes out of your every pore. Now do you see why you were fired?”
“I know why I was fired. I was fired because the CEO of the company made over $430 million last year – that money had to come from somewhere. Hundreds of employees’ pockets – that’s where!”
“You poor, deluded soul.”
“Don’t you see that you’re allowing your ego to get in the way of your finding permanent fulfillment in a satisfying, well-paying job? I mean, really, would it kill you to smile –”
“No…”
“…eight hours a day, five days a week for the next 30 years of your life?”
“No!”
“That’s my point! That is exactly my point! In previous generations, it was understood that you had to make sacrifices to put bread on your table. You had to dedicate yourself to your job – to do whatever it took to get ahead. Now, people are balking at giving a smile once in a while. What does that tell prospective employers?”
“Hey! It was employers who broke the compact with their workers. Sure, you had to sacrifice, but at least you were guaranteed a job for your trouble. Now, employers will fire you just to hire somebody half your age at a third your wage. What’s the point of sacrificing if there’s no guarantee that in the end it will be worth it?”
“Sol, Sol, Sol, Sol, Sol. There are no guarantees in life – why should there be in work? Besides, you are doing everything you can to avoid the real issue.”
“The real issue? What would that be?”
“YOUR ATTITUDE! Corporations need to be flexible in today’s world of transnational capital. The last thing they want is somebody coming to job interviews talking about ‘guarantees.’ Don’t you understand? The key to your future is entirely in your own hands.”
“I mean, really. With that attitude, what do you expect to accomplish?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I think I have some good options.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Well, I could become a union organizer and work for greater job security for middle-income, white collar workers.”
“Or, I could become a politician and work for more realistic minimum wage laws and laws to stem the flow of jobs overseas and –”
“Hey! Hey, I’m just saying –”
“Now, now, people. Settle, people. Find your happy centre. That’s right. Deep breaths. Smile, smile, smile…”
“You see how counter-productive outer-directed thinking is? Not only has Sol ensured that he will learn nothing from today’s workshop, but he can complain until he’s blue in the face and he’ll never get his money back! You make your reality – now lie in it! Okay – phew! I’m sure we’re all glad that’s over with! Now, I’d like you to split into pairs for an exercise I like to call ‘Master and Servant…’”