The Daily Me – graphite

Thank you, graphite, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Okay, let’s see if we have this straight. Torture. War. Hollywood writers strike. And, all you seem to want to know about is Conrad Black? And, you don’t even seem to care all that much about the full story, either – you just want a few pithy quotes. Fuck your pithy quotes! Don’t you understand that there’s a whole world of hurt out there?

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Okay, Could You Please Explain That Last Bit To Us?

Okay, please explain this to me. The Royal Ontario Museum doesn’t want hot dog vendors to hang out in front of its new Crystal entrance because they will lower the intellectual atmosphere. But, the ROM has no trouble hosting, in that very space, a massive light saber battle between people pretending to be Jedi and Sith characters. K’tau blana chra’kai Darth Thorsell G’tokken!

SOURCE: aye Weakly

[http://www.aye.net/]
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Probably Makes More Sense, Too

How can we best sum up Canada’s tiff with Iran over Ambassadors? “When they eject one of your Ambassadors, you reject two of theirs. That’s the Canadian way.”

It’s, uhh, funnier when Sean Connery says it.

SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler

[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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It’s Easier To Bury The Pitchforks Between Your Shoulder Blades That Way

“Canadians really are getting behind me.” - Conrad black

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Howard Roark Lives!

“You know, I believe in the prosecution of criminals, and if I was guilty, my sense of guilt and shame would have required me to [plead guilty].” - Conrad Black, again

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Howard Roark Is Dead Again!

“No one is above the law and that, Mr. Black, includes you.” - Judge Amy St. Eve, sentencing Black to six and a half years in jail

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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He Uttered The Term Nazis With The Utmost Respect

“I have never once uttered one disrespectful word about this case, your honour, the jurors or the process.” - Conrad Black to Judge Amy St. Eve at his sentencing

“I’m not having dinner with you so long as you are so friendly with [prosecutors]. The sight of people being civil with those Nazis is sickening.” - Conrad Black, as related by Toronto Star writer Rick Westhead

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Pummelling…Ego Stroking…It Can Be Such A Fine Line…For Some…

“For years, I’ve been pummeled from all directions, and I had to conduct an orderly withdrawal to a defensible perimeter.” - Conrad Black on his relationship with the press

 ”It is a bit much, some of the legal pundits notwithstanding, to consider Conrad Black’s sentence for fraud and obstruction of justice yesterday any sort of victory.” - Christie Blatchford launching a salvo of vitriol across Black’s perimeter

 “Lord Black’s incarceration [will not] serve a larger social purpose. Contrary to a lot of wishful thinking, white-collar criminals do not, in fact, pose huge problems for the capital markets of North America. This particular cycle of corporate greed, excess and lousy oversight ended several years ago, and the really big-time bad guys are all locked up or dead. By the standards of an Enron, a Tyco or a WorldCom, where top executives set up phony trading schemes and deliberately cooked the books, Lord Black’s larcenies were relatively minor stuff.” - Margaret Wente opens a second front in the journalistic war against Conrad Black

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Pundit’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Schmooze

Supporters of former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney have repeatedly pointed out that none of Karlheinz Schreiber’s allegations against him have been proven in a court of law. Fair enough. Let’s try a little thought experiment. What would the reaction from these same people be if Schreiber had been making his allegations about – oh, I don’t know – former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau?

They would trumpet the allegations repeatedly over a period of weeks, of course. But, would they be excruciatingly gleeful while they did so, or would they be merely annoyingly gleeful? Would the newspaper headlines be in a 216 point font, or merely 178? Would the television news networks have three right wing and one centre right pundits discuss the case, or merely two right wing and two centre right pundits?

It pays to know how high Mulroney supporters’ bar of moral indignation is.

SOURCE: Canadian Depress

[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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Question The Answer, Dammit! Just Question The Answer!

Q: A world famous game show host who recently had a minor heart attack but whose network insists that he’s doing just fine.

A: Who is Alex Trebek?

Q: A device used in the game show Jeopardy that has been overused in comedy for years now and really ought to be abandoned.

A: What is asking a question in the form of an answer and expecting the answer to be in the form of a…oh…

SOURCE: Entertainment for Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=479&dir=bb]
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Justice Can Be Such A Trial

“Politics has intruded on the process” of finding justice for inmates of Guantanamo Bay prison said Colonel Michael T. Mouse, the former chief prosecutor for the Office of Military Commissions. He made this statement on CBC’s The Current, which, ironically enough, was not one of the torture techniques used at Gitmo.

In response, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said, “Colonel Mouse should shut up and eat his cheese like a good soldier.”

SOURCE: Disassociated Press

[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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Poetry That Can Change The World – AI*

Impeachalypse Now!

We don’t need a Congressional filibuster (although it couldn’t hurt…)
We don’t need a sternly worded op-ed piece in the Times (even though they can be surprisingly effective at rallying public opinion…)
We don’t need an angry speech on the floor of the House (however much it may play well on national television…)
We don’t need incremental change that will set things right by the time our grandchildren have grandchildren (although I suppose incremental change is better than no change at all…)
We don’t need bitter bipartisan wrangling (despite the fact that it may be inevitable given Republican intransigence…)

We need impeachment now! ...but, okay, maybe, for the time being, we’ll settle for a sternly worded op-ed piece in the Times…

* (As If!)

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/211.html]
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