Thank you, Niobe Wan Kenobi, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Sigh. They grow up so quickly. Why can’t they just stay in a perpetual state of dependence forever?
Enjoy,Can We Get Andy Jones To Sit In On That Conversation?
Somebody should take Mary Walsh aside and explain to her that not every comedy from Newfoundland needs to feature a pedophilic Priest.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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The World Needs To Get Its Facts Straight
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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Sounds Like The Makings Of A Bad Sitcom Plot
Fingernail-sized cameras fitted to the backs of seats will be used to monitor the behaviour of airplane passengers to look for signs that they might be terrorists. Scientists say rapid eye movements, blinking excessively, licking lips or ways of stroking hair or ears are classic symptoms of somebody trying to conceal something.
Of course, they’re also signs that you’ve just joined the mile high club. This could be awkward.
SOURCE: Scientific Canadian
[http://www.scican.com/article.cfm?chanID=sc003&articleID=1124H3EC-2H145-20K5-AAA1582614B712321]
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Maybe His Gut Needs A Few Less Barbecued Pork Ribs
The next time the President talks about making a decision from his gut, remember that his gut told him that Vladimir Putin was a kindred soul.
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
[http://www.comedycentric.com/tv_shows/thedaytodayshowwithjontudor/headlines_pol.jhtml]
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At Last, Some Recognition Of The Horror Of New Age Films!
Adults expecting to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 got a nasty surprise when a theatre in New York accidentally began screening the children’s film The Last Mimzi instead. “It was the most horrible experience of my life,” Reginald Nofixed-Andress, of Cheektowaga, stated, holding back her tears. Then, the theatre offered Nofixed-Andress a pair of complimentary passes to a screening of her choice, and she got over it.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2007/2007/04/08/mimziflimsy/]
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Just Do Your Best: There Are No Right Answers Here
How credulous have you become? Take this simple test to find out:
1) Recently released documents indicate that former Member of Parliament Jim Hart expected to be financially rewarded for resigning his seat to make way for Stockwell Day in a 2000 by-election. This is illegal. Hart claims that no compensation figures were discussed until after he had resigned, so the law wasn’t broken. Is your response:Oh, yeah. If you answered any of the questions, you’re pretty damn credulous.
SOURCE: Politics for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=495&dir=bb]
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Because He Was There
PieAreSquare) Why did 35 county governments in Vermont vote to impeach President Bush?
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Me-oww!
Dogs are man’s best friend? Don’t believe it. Don’t believe it for a second. They love you because you feed them. If you were gone, they’d love the next person who feeds them. Food is the alpha and the omega of a dog’s existence, the totality of its consciousness. You, you are just an enabler.
SOURCE: Fluffy’s Truth About Cats and Dogs Page
[http:fluffy.truthaboutcatsanddogs.blogspeck.com]
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We’re Talking Fashion Criminals Here…Right? Right?
Okay, let me see if I understand this. When the United States kidnaps people, we put them in dark cells for years on end and torture them. When Iran kidnaps people, they force them to wear ugly, ill-fitting Stalinist-era suits. Oh, I think it’s easy to see who the real criminals are, here.
SOURCE: Jennifer’s Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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The Straight Talk Express Has Been Hit By An IED (Improvised Electioneering Device) – All Aboard The Bullshit Gravy Train!
Republican presidential hopeful John McCain toured Baghdad recently to show that the war in Iraq was going well. He has been criticized for not mentioning that, in order to be able to stroll through the marketplace, he had to be protected by 100 armed guards and two assault helicopters. Well, I say: back off of the guy! I may have had my differences with McCain, but I can tell you one thing: he uses scores of armed guards and an assault helicopter or two just to go to the corner store to get orange juice! And, don’t even ask about the security he gets when he takes his wife to dinner! That’s just the kind of guy he is: Navy through and through. And, you gotta love him for it!
SOURCE: The O’Meilly Factor
[http://www.foxynews.com/story/0,2983,96227,05.html]
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It’s Time To Drop The Dime On These Rhymes
The Rap On Rap
Chuck D
And, who is it we have to thank for
The current strain that’s known as gangsta?
What foolish prankster
Abandoned the political get-go
For the violence of the ghetto
You think most rappers lived the life? Hell, no!
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/178.html]
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