Skip to content

You Call These Headlines? In My Day…

Cover 42

Sounds Like My Ex
Aww, Who Am I Kidding? Sounds Like A Lot Of People’s Exes!


“Taliban Fighters, Bored by Peace, Seek Battles”

– New York Times


Like The Attic
After 27 Years, Nobody Expected To Find Uncle Eddy Up There!


“Finding family ties
The rise of genealogy tours allows travellers to trace long-lost ancestors – sometimes in unexpected places”

– Toronto Star


The Provincial Premiers Have Spoken!


“Trudeau makes housing top priority”

– Toronto Star


Egypt Shakes Its Head And Says, “You’re A Bit Late To The Party…”


“Titanic expedition faces hurdle
U.S. government opposes Georgia firm’s plans to recover artifacts, says shipwreck is a gravesite”

– Toronto Star


When Magnifying Glass Is Removed, House Not Nearly The Size They Were Expecting


“Couple, about to move into new home, gets big surprise”

– Toronto Star


That’s What Numbered Company Subsidiaries Are For


“Corporate world won’t be able to shrug off governance issues”

– Toronto Star


That’s Not Reason For Celebration:
They’re The Sort Of Contractions That Lead To A Difficult Birth


“End of interest rate hikes coming
Bank of Canada may have achieved its goal of price stability, expert says, as economy contracts”

– Toronto Star


Gotta Do Something To Prepare For Their Retirement


“Ontarians all in on sports betting”

– Toronto Star


Were Hoping To Hear More Modern Blues Tunes


“Farmers in Europe Rebel Over Green Standards”

– New York Times


Look At How Well Bake Sales Work For Schools


“Other ways to get cash for Toronto besides tax hike”

– Toronto Star


Why? Our Bottom Line Is Very Healthy


“Employers must change approach to well-being”

– Toronto Star


Fortunately, My Current Home Has No Extradition Treaty With Hawaii


“MAUI WANTS YOU BACK”

– Toronto Star


How Can They When Most Of Them Are So Ancient?


“Teachers should prepare students for modern world”

– Toronto Star


Proving Joni Mitchell’s Prophetessness Once Again


“Ford bulldozes ahead to pave the Greenbelt”

– Toronto Star


True
But Dying Might Affect Their Test Scores


“School closings harmful to kids”

– Toronto Star


1. Their Policies
2. Their Personalities
3. Their Petticoats


“The Conservatives biggest obstacles”

– Toronto Star


Results Are Outward Evident


“Biographer Sullivan turns gaze inwardly”

– Toronto Star


They Live Inside Banks


“REAL ESTATE
Investors now own 30% of market”

– Toronto Star


So, A Grand Toupercar, Then? Sounds Like A Pokemon Character…Or A Medieval Religious Interrogator…


“Aston Martin’s mash-up of supercar, grand tourer”

– Toronto Star


That Will Show All Those Workers Who Unrealistically Demand A Living Wage, Boy! That Will Just…Will Just…Just Show Them! Something…!


“Carney supports call for austerity
Former Bank of Canada governor said recession in store for country”

– Toronto Star


Carpet Bombing Parking Lots, On The Other Hand…


“Taxing parking is not a war on the car”

– Toronto Star


Only Aspiring News Writers Under Thirty Can Apply…Uhh…


“Star starts Journalism in Ageing fellowship”

– Toronto Star


Ontario Greenbelt Says: “How Can I Get Me Some Of That Action?”


“Protesters rally over plan to redevelop historic Tokyo park
Move would see nearly 3,000 trees cut down in city’s downtown green space”

– Toronto Star


Rest Assured That There Will Be No Repeats
There Are New Disasters Just Dying To Happen!


“Avoiding repeat of LTC disaster”

– Toronto Star


I Very Much Doubt Opie Is Going To Go For It


“Trudeau must deliver assault weapons ban”

– Toronto Star


The Best Gift You Can Give Anybody During The Holiday Season Is Denial


“Happy holidays – and happy wallet”

– Toronto Star


YOU WANT: Climate Justice
YOU’LL SETTLE FOR: A Little Climate Change Mitigation
YOU’LL GET: An Oil-powered Emergency Warning Light


“Our youth deserve climate justice”

– Toronto Star


How Can You Say That?
According To Your Supporters, Being Saved From Homosexual Indoctrination IS A Real Need Of Vulnerable Children!


“Ford is ignoring the real needs of vulnerable children”

– Toronto Star


We’re Ready To Trip And Fall On Our Own Two Feet!


“Royals popularity waning
Growing number of Canadians say it’s time to rethink ties, new poll finds”

– Toronto Star


Majority Of Majority Waiting For The Rest To Do Something About It


“Majority of Canadians concerned about climate”

– Toronto Star


Best Pitch For A Reality TV Show EVER!


“Dad may be a cheater, but I don’t like mom”

– Toronto Star


If You’re Sticking It In Your Ear, You’re Doing It Wrong


“It’s time to discuss use of contraception”

– Toronto Star


Leave a Reply