Save Twitter?
“Is there anything my incredibly fast Tesla can’t do?”
– Toronto Star
That Is A Question Upon Which Reasonable People Can Agree To Disagree
Unreasonable People, On The Other Hand, Will Try To Show You Pictures Of Their Summer Vacation At The Cottage, Where They Had To Deal With The Horrendous Heat (Which Has Nothing To Do With Global Climate Change, Because, Of Course, Ice Ages Are Naturally Occurring Phenomena), Which They Wouldn’t Have Minded If They Could Have Swum In The Lake, But It Was Closed Because It Had Been Flooded With Waste Water From A Nearby Purification Plant (Which Is Still Better Than Dumping It Out Of Your Window On The Heads Of Innocent Passersby, You Ask My Opinion), And They Ran Out Of Bug Spray After Three Days And Were Eaten Alive By Mosquitoes, But It Didn’t Kill Their Spirit, Nothing Could Kill Their Spirit –
At Which Point, You’ll Be Offering To Hire A Hit Man To Come After Her Boring Husband
“Should she dump her boring husband?”
– Toronto Star
It Never Went Away
Have You Never Seen Billions or Succession?
“What’s next? Bringing back cockfighting?”
– Toronto Star
Because If His Secret Identity Is Revealed, Then…People Will Know It…
“Why is Ford still protecting Clark?”
– Toronto Star
Why Not Ask The Driver When He Rams Into You On One?
(Bonus Points If You’re On Your Way To Your Chiropractor When The Collision Occurs)
“Are sidewalks for pedestrians or e-scooters?”
– Toronto Star
Not While Under The Spell Of Brexit’s Doom And Gloom
“Can Britain Both Boom and Bloom?”
– New York Times
Only If You Pay Attention To What He Does
“Will we ever know Poilievre the person?”
– Toronto Star
If It Has Big Floppy Ears And A Bushy Tail, That They Have Stumbled Into A Pet Store By Mistake
“What will drivers find when they buy a new car?”
– Toronto Star
Are You Suggesting It Was A Bad Idea To Make Stephen King The Housing Minister?
“Is housing crisis set for a dark turn?”
– Toronto Star
Love Yourself For Your Inner Beauty?
“How can I save money on my beauty routine?”
– Toronto Star
The Nuclear Energy’s Free Money Plan
“What sparked Ford’s clean power plan?”
– Toronto Star
Why Do You Think I’m Driving A Civilian Version Of A Military Vehicle?
For OTHER People’s Health?
“Is cyclist safety not important?”
– Toronto Star
Moral Panic Tuesdays, Thursdays And Every Other Saturday
Real Issue The Rest Of The Time (Except Sundays, When Outrage Takes A Well Deserved Rest)
“A Moral Panic, Or a Real Issue?”
– New York Times
Sure, As Long As You Don’t Mind Premiums Your Grandchildren Will Have To Pay Off
“Can you get insurance if you live in high-risk area?”
– Toronto Star
He Is Imagining The Revenge He Will Take On You For Asking The Question
“WAR IN UKRAINE
Why is this man smiling?”
– Toronto Star
Sure: We Now Have 17 New Forms Of Denial
“Did we learn from COVID?”
– Toronto Star
Modifying The Tunnels Will Be Tricky, But They’ll Be Less Expensive To Run Than The Sheppard Line
“Are e-scooters part of transit future?”
– Toronto Star
It Doesn’t Matter – The Hurricane Fairy Has Moved To New Territory
“Would a Visit Help or Hurt Maui’s Recovery?”
– New York Times
The Aliens Want To Study A Better Class Of Anus?
“Who is Justice Brown and why’s he under probe?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Cranky, Unreliable And Spends A Lot Of Nights Sleeping On The Couch
“Mustang marriage produces auto bliss
2024 model year marks iconic car’s 60th anniversary. How good is this one to drive?”
– Toronto Star
Is “A Necessity” One Of The Choices?
Is working remotely a right or a privilege?”
– Toronto Star
That Depends: Do You Consider Shark Week Culture?
“Are we a city that values culture, or not?”
– Toronto Star
I’m Not Ready For An Older Society – AND I’M PART OF IT!
“Is health care ready for an older society?”
– Toronto Star
Building Their Portfolio Of Real Estate Investment Properties
“Where are Canada’s nation builders in our hour of need?”
– Toronto Star
I DON’T KNOW! BUT I’M AFRAID OF…OF…I’M AFRAID…AFRAID OF…
Sorry, I’m Afraid I’m Suffering From Outrage Fatigue
Let Me Have A Little Lie Down And See If My Angry Energy Comes Back…
“What in the world is that?”
– Toronto Sun