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We’ll Always Have Polaris

Book 14 Cover

posted by Jennifer [2008-07-14 0132]

Okay, so, like, here’s the deal: The Boy agreed to come with me to Sex and the City if I would go with him to a science fiction convention. I’m not a big science fiction fan; in fact, other than Buffy, I don’t know much about science fiction. It’s mostly about rockets and robots and stuff, right? Okay, so, I know nothing, really. But, fair is fair, so I agreed to go to Polaris 22.

Carrie’s shoes, alone, were worth it. And, did you see that apartment?

Ahem. Anyway, after a couple of attempts at writing about the convention, The Boy put his foot down and demanded that I not post anything. (David Lloyd-Gareth…Lloyd Gareth-David – can I help it if I’m confused by the fact that that actor has three first names?) Okay, fair enough; The Boy did refrain from publishing his opinion of Sex and the City on any of his blogs (even though, lord knows, I never heard the end of it!).

Since I’m not allowed to write about Polaris 22 – apparently – I suggested that The Boy write about it. He’s too cool to do it on his own blogs, so I offered him space on mine. We don’t do that often; in fact, we’ll probably never do it again. Still, seeing his pictures is as good as being there, and you don’t have to hang out for hours with people who argue endlessly about whether ramjet transducer coils are a more efficient form of propulsion for a spaceship than matter-antimatter drives fueled by dilithium!

You’re welcome.

The Boy’s Brain Blortz

1. A quarter of the members of the cast for the forthcoming BBC One series The Thirty-Two Doctors. Oh, Russell T. Davies, why have you forsaken us?

2. Conventions can be long, tiring events. Every smart alien knows that the best bet for survival is to remain well hydrated.

3. Return with us, now, to the wondrous 18th century, when getting dressed for the ball took over a week, and the wires from amplifying devices didn’t interfere with your admirers’ line of vision!

4. One of these things is not like the others…one of these things doesn’t belong… At Polaris, there was ample proof that being the Joker’s batshit crazy girlfriend was the new black.

5. You know, I actually do know what this guy is doing. But, Jennifer would kill me if I tried to explain it on her blog. Sorry.

6. Hands down the best costume at the con: a princess chair. The most amazing thing about it was that every time I walked down that hallway, the person was still there and still in costume. Now, that’s dedication!

7. More proof, as if more proof was necessary, that if you stare into a lightsabre long enough, you will hypnotize yourself. What are they teaching kids at Jedi school these days?

8. After my encounter with the Gingerbread Man, I’m swearing off processed sugar for the rest of my life! Seriously! They should invite this dude into schools to warn small children about the perils of obesity. I bet you anybody under the age of 27 seeing this guy coming at them would run crying in the opposite direction!

9. As Ianto Jones on Torchwood, he’s faced down weevils, aliens who could enter his mind and change his memories, and a huge entity from another dimension whose shadow killed every life form it touched. But, all it took for Toronto to win Gareth David-Lloyd’s affections was one puppy. It’s a damn cute puppy, but still…

10. I was admiring their ears, Jennifer. Just their ears.

11. Tell me you were doing the same for him. Go on. Tell me. Never mind – I wouldn’t believe you if you did. I saw them mopping your drool off the floor in front of where he was standing!

12. During a panel on psychic phenomena, I heard this kind of…knocking sound coming from behind the panelists. Since there was a door at that end of the room, I quickly rushed out to see what it was. There was a shadowy figure at the end of the hall, repeatedly saying something. It was a sort of low rumbling noise. It could have been, “Adama lives. Adama lives.” I don’t know what the apparition could possibly have meant…

13. That’s all, folks. Will the last one out of the virtual environment please turn off the server?

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