Did You Check Behind Your Hemorrhoids?
Thomas Edsall
@Edsall
‘We can’t track down the informant’: James Comer says he lost top witness in Biden investigation
The “Homeless People” At The End Of The List Is Implied
CTV Toronto
@CTVToronto
Ontario wants to expand a licensing regime that allows residents to unleash dogs in an enclosed area to teach them how to hunt captive coyotes, foxes and rabbits.
We’re Also Praying That Nobody In The Media Asks Us About Guns, Because The “This Is Not The Time To Politicize Mass Murder” Thing Is Getting Really Old
Ted Cruz
@tedcruz
Heidi and I are praying for the families of the victims of the horrific mall shooting in Allen, Texas. We pray also for the broader Collin County community that’s in shock from this tragedy.
Are You Kidding?
Former President Trump Is Defending America In Ways FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP Will Never Comprehend!
Brigitte Gabriel
@ACTBrigitte
President Trump is defending America in ways Biden will never comprehend.
Chachi Does The Cha Cha
Scott Baio
@ScottBaio
After 45 years, I’m making my way to finally “exit stage right” from California.
To Be Fair: There Is Logic In The Proposition That You Wouldn’t Have Problems With Democracy If You Didn’t Have Democracy
Marlene Robertson
@marlene4719
Unf**kingbelieveable., little fascistTommy Teletubbie: “The American people should just stand up and say enough is enough, let’s not have elections anymore”. He’s advocating for an end to democracy & not even hiding it. This is what you get when insurrectionists go unpunished.
Being An Untalented Scum Bag Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Randy Quaid
@RandyRRQuaid
The person who would drum up false charges against a man for their own advancement or gain is a person with no talent of his own to exploit! And removing that untalented scum bag from the planet would be no loss & only make America a better place.
Sometimes? SOMETIMES‽
John Collins
@Logically_JC
Sometimes scrolling through the comments is a terrible idea.
I’m Sure He’ll Be In The Front Row Of The Courtroom At Your Trial
George Santos
@Santos4Congress
WHERE’S HUNTER?
But Only For Three Days A Month
Zoe Allison
@zoeallisonauth1
Curious – do US writer peeps know that in the UK we call a period a ‘full stop’?
Ah, But The People Who Get Upset Are Even Simpler
Mehdi Hasan
@mehdirhasan
It’s very simple.
If you’re not a white supremacist, you shouldn’t get really annoyed or upset when the president condemns white supremacists.
Aliens?
A Robopocalypse?
Cthulu?
Have You No Imagination?
Alexa Sommers
@AlexaSommers
I love the question “if men didn’t exist who would protect you?”
Protect me from what? Pretty sure 95% of the problem is solved.
You Think Twitter Investors Will Buy That Explanation Of How You Run The Business?
Elon Musk
@elonmusk
Replying to @astro_greek
Maybe we’re in an alien soap opera and just need to keep the ratings high so we don’t get cancelled … ?
“This Is A Great Flim Flam! I Don’t Know Why I Didn’t Fucking Get Into It Decades Ago!”
Devin Nunes’ Mom’s Son Devin
@visionsurreal
After Roger Stone told the story yesterday that he asked Franklin Graham to put in a good word for him w/ Trump re: pardon, Stone says he then confessed his sins, was pardoned & is “now a soldier in the army of the Lord.”
Stone then invokes apocalyptic good vs. evil language.
Musk Has Been Allowing Incels And Nazis To Use The Platform
Gary NO DMs
@MOGreyBeard
What’s with all of the Boob pics on Twitter recently???
How About It Schiffty?
Hey? Hey? Hey?
You Gonna Show Us What You Got, Tough Guy?
Or Do We Hafta Hold Another Empty Four Year Investigation?
Is That What You Want, Schiffty Schiff? Hunh? Is It? Cause We’ll Do It In A Second!
Jonathan Turley
@JonathanTurley
Given Durham’s findings that there was no basis for the actions taken by the FBI in launching this investigation, this would be a good time for former House Intelligence Chair Adam Schiff to reveal that evidence he said showed the Russian collusion…
But, Then, We Are Talking About Tommy Tuberville…
Walter Masterson
@waltermasterson
Normal people do not hear WHITE SUPREMACY and think we’re talking about them.
Shows What You Know
Causing Hundreds Of Thousands Of Unnecessary Deaths Because Some Guy You Don’t Know On The Internet Said COVID Vaccines Came With A Chip That Would Turn Everybody Into George Soros IS A HUMAN RIGHT!
Arturo Dominguez
@ExtremeArturo
Remember when MAGA truck drivers were on strike for dumb stuff and MAGA was like, “YEEEAAAHH!!!”?
At least Latino truckers want to boycott Florida for something noble like, you know, human rights.
Only If She Weighed Eight Hundred Pounds And Was Sitting On Him
Brigitte Gabriel
@ACTBrigitte
Did you know Harriet Tubman was a Republican?
There is no doubt she would be a MASSIVE Trump supporter if she were alive today.
What If I Use The Potatoes To Make Alcohol?
Author S. Evan Townsend
@SevanTownsend
You mash the potatoes until they become “mashed potatoes.” Don’t call them “mash potatoes.”
#writetip
Licht Is Musking CNN
Be Afraid…Be Very Afraid…
Brian Stelter
@brianstelter
“When Jake Tapper’s postgame panel of CNN journalists descended into a somber grief session” over the town hall, “Licht texted executive producer Charlie Moore and told him to switch the broadcast to Anderson’s panel, which featured partisan pundits.”
“As Long As They Don’t Interfere With The Three Laws Of Robotics, We Should Be Fine.”
Sarah Longwell
@SarahLongwell
“The governor and his team have had internal conversations acknowledging the need for him to engage in the basics of political courtship: small talk, handshaking, eye contact.”
When I Think Of The Greatest Movies, I Think Of Women Battling Alien Killing Machines And Robotic Killing Machines (Alien, The Terminator…)
Did God Put The Yearning To Kick Ass In Women’s Hearts?
The Transformed Wife
@godlywomanhood
When we think of the greatest movies, they aren’t about women going to college and having careers. No, they’re about a woman and a man falling in love with each other (Pride and Prejudice, Sound of Music…) and marrying then maybe even having babies. This is what our hearts yearn for, not careers. God put this yearning in our hearts, because He created us for this.