Excerpts from the deposition of Rupert Murdoch in the case of Dominion Voting Machines v Fox News:
ATTORNEY FOR THE PLAINTIFF MARY KATHRYN SAMMONS: Can you please state your full name for the record?
RUPERT MURDOCH: Ach, ah would fain beggah wallabies than answer poxy poltroons, please thah coaht!
SAMMON: Your Honour, please advise the witness to answer the question.
ATTORNEY FOR THE DEFENCE DAN WEBB: Your Honour, my client suffers from Chronic Australius Disphasia.
DELAWARE SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE ERIC M. DAVIS: What is that?
WEBB: When he’s under a lot of stress, he reverts to speaking in a heavy Australian accent.
MURDOCH: Ahh, theah ya go, me great bountiful buzzins. Gotit in one!
SAMMONS: Your honour, there is no such condition. Mister Murdoch is just speaking gibberish in order to avoid answering questions!
WEBB: If it please the court, we could get an Australian to English translator. It wouldn’t take more than two or three weeks to find one.
JUDGE DAVIS: It would please the court if your client started speaking English.
WEBB: But Your Honour –
JUDGE DAVIS: It would please the court not to have to hold you in contempt before the deposition has really started.
MURDOCH: Aww, yoah a big bag o’ puffin droppin’s! (pause) With all due respect, Your Honour.
SAMMONS: Mister Murdoch, who won the 2020 American Presidential election?
MURDOCH: Funny you should ask that. I was in the Fox commissary the other day when Sean Hannity, Sidney Powell and bag of dill pickle chips walked in. Hannity and Powell were discussing the results of the Lakers game the evening before – I don’t follow American sports, so I don’t know what significance the baseball game had, but they seemed awfully animated about it. The bag of chips looked nervous, like somebody was going to rip it open at any moment and pop a few in their mouth. Running a massively popular news organization, I could sympathize. Sean ordered –
SAMMONS: Mister Murdoch, could you please answer the question?
MURDOCH: I am answering the question.
SAMMONS: Is what Sean Hannity had for lunch in the Fox commissary really important?
MURDOCH: It could be. (pause) Why don’t we let the judge decide? (pause) Alright. Fair dinkums. Sean and Sidney are sitting at a table, eating steak and potatoes –
SAMMONS: Mister Murdoch, the question is: who won the 2020 American Presidential election?
MURDOCH: I…I plead the fifth.
SAMMONS: So…you’re saying that answering a question about who won the 2020 American Presidential Election might indicate that you were involved you in a criminal act?
MURDOCH: (muttering) Wait until you see what Tucker has to say about your wardrobe…
SAMMONS: What is wrong with my wardrobe?
MURDOCH: (grinning) I plead the fifth.
SAMMONS: Did you order Fox News hosts to claim on the air that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, and that the presidency was stolen from him by Democrats and members of something called the Deep State?
MURDOCH: Define “order.”
SAMMONS: To order. To command. To dictate. To demand. To ask with extreme prejudice.
MURDOCH: Ooh. I see someone ate a thesaurus for breakfast this morning!
SAMMONS: Mister Murdoch! Would you please… (pause) Okay. Let me try a different approach. Was it the policy at Fox News to claim that Donald Trump had won the 2020 election and that the presidency was stolen from him?
MURDOCH: I like the approach, but I don’t think you’ll be able to stick the landing.
SAMMONS: What is that supposed to mean?
MURDOCH: Is that suit the best you could afford? You would think a successful lawyer would be able to afford a fashion consultant!
SAMMONS: Your honour, the witness is being evasive. And insulting.
JUDGE DAVIS: Mister Murdoch, please answer the question.
MURDOCH: Of course, Your Honour.
SAMMONS: Did you direct your hosts to falsely claim that Donald Trump won the 2020 election?
MURDOCH: I plead the fifth.
SAMMONS: Sir, what do you think of the substantial number of members of the Fox News audience who believe everything that the network anchors tell them?
MURDOCH: They’re trusting souls, god bless them.
SAMMONS: Even to the point of storming the capitol to reclaim a government Fox News repeatedly told them was stolen from them?
MURDOCH: Of course not.
SAMMON: I’m sorry?
MURDOCH: Everybody knows that Fox News is an entertainment organization, not a news organization. People would be fools to believe anything we told them.
SAMMON: But…but…but you just agreed that a substantial number of Fox audience members believe everything you tell them.
MURDOCH: Indeed, they do.
SAMMON: How…how can you reconcile those two positions?
MURDOCH: Can you guess what my favourite Constitutional Amendment is?