| 1 | What is the hottest film currently in the theatres? | |
| 2 | Do you own the rights to the film?</td | |
| YES | 3 | Make a sequel. |
| NO | 4 | Use the selling points of the hit as the basis for your own film. |
| 5 | Can you attach a pair of A list actors to the project? | |
| YES | 6 | Add $35 million to the budget. |
| NO | 7 | Add $3 million to the budget. |
| 8 | Can you attach an A list director to the project? | |
| YES | 9 | Add $10 million to the budget. |
| NO | 10 | Add $1 million to the budget. |
| 11 | Will the film require extensive computer graphics or other special effects? | |
| YES | 12 | Add $40 million to the budget. |
| NO | 13 | Add $10 million to the budget. |
| 14 | Hire 8 writers to develop the screenplay; add $2 million to the budget. | |
| 15 | Is your budget over $40 million? | |
| 16 | Add $20 million to the budget for advertising and promotion. | |
| 18 | Is your film scheduled to open the same weekend as another studio’s blockbuster? | |
| YES | 22 | Move the opening to another weekend. |
| NO | 21 | Did the film test will in Peoria? |
| NO | 23 | Recut the film according to the test notes. |
| YES | 24 | Release the film in a gazillion theatres. |
| 17 | Did the film test well in Pittsburgh? | |
| NO | 19 | Wait a year or two and release it straight to video. |
| YES | 20 | After the holiday season, release the film in select markets with a plan to roll it out throughout the country if it is supported by positive word of mouth. |
Notes
This holiday season, as you watch Mike Myers mug his way through another witless big screen comedy or Pierce Brosnan wear designer suits at villains bent on taking over the world, you may find yourself wondering how the studios manage to crank out the blockbusters Christmas in and Labour Day out. Actually, it’s a lot easier than you might think.
No, really. Close observation of the decision-making process of Hollywood executives by members of the Institute for Research, Advanced has shown that the same kinds of decisions are made in the development of every blockbuster. In fact, simply apply the algorithm above, the fruit of our research, and you, too could be the next…uhh, well, they aren’t exactly household names, but…err…you too could be sipping Chablis in a spa on the desert.
A couple of caveats about the algorithm need to be mentioned. One is that you can make all of the right decisions and the film could still flop at the box office. (This is alternately referred to as “Hudson Hawkitis” and “Ishtar Syndrome.”) In the unlikely event that this happens, blame the writers for not being able to deliver a coherent screenplay.
Also, even when all of the right elements are in place, a production can still be plagued with problems. Female actors who go all moral on you and refuse to do a contracted nude scene, male actors who have to be bailed out of jail for weapons charges, directors who close the set to studio executives while demanding that $10 million be added to the production budget – these are just a few of the creative challenges you may encounter when producing a blockbuster film, challenges the algorithm does not address.
You will have to find your own solutions to these problems. After all, sometimes you have to work for your Chablis.