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The Daily Me – Yukari Iwatani Kane

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Thank you, Yukari Iwatani Kane, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Mmmm…shiny object…

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Go, Fighting Inflamed Anuses!

It was a tremendous thing, the 9/12 rally on Washington. And, don’t believe the “official” estimates that only 70,000 people or so showed up. Just looking at the video, you can see that at least twice that number – at least 280,000 people – were there. You see…it’s all part of the liberal media’s conspiracy to denigrate the hard-working people of this country. When a rally gets over a million people, they say it was only 3 people. Do they think you’re stupid? Do they think you can’t count 2 million people for yourself? Okay, if you don’t believe the evidence of your own eyes, how about a count that the University of Pulled It Out Of My Ass did that conclusively showed that 50 million Americans attended the 9/12 rally in Washington? It was a university, right? You gotta believe that, right? Seventy thousand – do you believe that shit?

SOURCE: Rush Limburger Home Page

[http://www.rushlimburger.com/home/daily/site_091309/content/truth_distorter.hostile_enemy.html]

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Dirty Dancing Ghost – Sounds Like A Shaw Brothers Film!

Patrick Swayze, star of such films as Dirty Dancing and Ghost and, most recently, the television series The Beast, has died of the pancreatic cancer he had been diagnosed with in 2008. He was 57. I guess there is at least one power that can put Baby in a corner…

SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us

[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]

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Colin All Realists

In a letter published over the weekend, Colin Kenny, chair of the Senate committee on national security and defence, wrote, “What we hoped to accomplish in Afghanistan has proved impossible. We are hurtling toward a Vietnam ending.” On the scale of speaking truth to power, where does his statement put us?

almost unanimous enthusiasm for war
quiet rumblings against war in the midst of the loud drumbeat of approval
YOU ARE HERE: growing minority willing to criticize war
war critics become majority
war critics drown out dwindling number of supporters
historians judge war harshly

SOURCE: Politics For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=645&dir=bb]

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With A Melon?!

The Toronto International Film Fes –

“That’s anti-Semitic,” claimed Bernie Farber, National Executive Director of the Canadian Jewish Congress.

Aaaaaargh!

SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!

[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]

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Is It September Already? Time Sure Flies When You’re Mired In A Military Debacle…


“U.S. commandos kill al-Qaeda kingpin”

Globe and Mail


SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1371133101]

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But, Who Will Teach The Chil – Oh

Two graduates of its International Business Management programme are suing George Brown College, claiming that it did not qualify them to work in their field.

“They’re suing us?” Brian Stock, a spokesman for George Brown, said, a tear forming in one eye. “I couldn’t be more proud. We have obviously taught them well.”

SOURCE: The National Whipping Post

[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=0ec0ecda-b6z6-4c18-bf9b-07a657cc48ick]

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Hey! Spellcheck In Microsoft Word Recognizes “Blowjob!” Is This A Truly Civilized Country, Or What?

DEV SEZ: So, there’s a beer commercial on radio that talks about having “cojones of steel” like that was a good thing. I can’t see being able to have children with cojones of steel – how could they create sperm? Not only that, but having steel balls has gotta make getting a blowjob really painful – why would any woman do it? This does not sound like a good idea. Nope – not good at all.

SOURCE: Devin’s Heaven Blog

[http:heaven.devsez.blogspeck.com]

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But…Joe Wilson Started It!

Kanye West has been condemned for grabbing the microphone away from President Barack Obama during a speech to Wall Street bigwigs and saying that everybody knows that Beyonce had a better plan to deal with the economic crisis.

A joint post by singer Kate Perry and economist Joseph Stiglitz said that West’s outburst was comparable to “stepping on a kitten.”

West has apolo –

“This article smacks of anti-Semitism,” claimed Bernie Farber, National Executive Director of the Canadian Jewish Congress.

How is that possible? Nobody involved is Jewish. Nobody involved says or does anything to or about Jews. How can the article be anti-Semitic when it’s got absolutely nothing to do with Jews!

“Even if the original story isn’t anti-Semitic, that last statement – or should I say rant? -most certainly is!” Farber argued.

Aaaaaargh!

Aaaaaargh! Aaaaaargh! Aaaaaargh!

SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now

[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2009/2009/09/15/kanyeorkantye/]

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Tommy Douglas Is Negotiating Turning Over In His Grave

INT. PARLIAMENT HALLWAY – DAY

JACK LAYTON, NDP: If you want to continue to be Prime Minister, enact all of our changes to Employment Insurance.

STEPHEN HARPER: No.

LAYTON: Will you enact some of our changes to Employment Insurance?

HARPER: No.

LAYTON: How about enacting a few of our changes to Employment Insurance?

HARPER: No.

LAYTON: One or two changes? Just one or two?

HARPER: No.

LAYTON: Look, I appreciate that you’re willing to put more money into EI. Could you at least get Jim Flaherty to stop saying that he’ll take money out of EI to cut the federal deficit?

HARPER: No.

LAYTON: Sounds like we have a deal!

SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour

[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]

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Is It Possible To Give Somebody’s Legal Briefs A Wedgie?

Duke Nukem Lawsuit Forever

3-D Realms and Take 2 Interactive
zero stars

It’s been over a decade since the development of a new title in the Duke Nukem series was announced. We still don’t have it. What we have is this game, in which Duke sits in a courtroom in an ill-fitting suit while other people in (admittedly better fitting) suits argue over who is responsible for the fact that we don’t have a new Duke Nukem game. You don’t even get to play the lawyers – game play consists mostly of listening to the lawyers argue, deciding on whether to drink some water from the glass in front of you and, eventually, having to go to the bathroom.

While I was listening to a debate about who made the decision to switch from the Quake 2 engine to the Unreal engine in 1998, I started to fantasize that Duke laid waste to the courtroom with the Devastator. That was very satisfying. Then, I imagined he turned the shrink ray on the lawyers, whose voices got squeakier, and squeakier and…

Duke Nukem Lawsuit Forever is about as much fun as reading a legal brief.

SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report

[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/090909/geeklynews/01glenrglenda.htm]

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