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The 1948 Balfour Declaration Is Too Obvious
I Blame Hollywood’s 1960s Fascination With Anti-heroes
SOURCE: T-dot Ts
[http://t-dotts/store/new]
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Other Than Threaten To Ruin The Political Careers Of Those Who Won’t Vote For Him, I Mean
Jim Jordan became the latest Republican to try to become Speaker of the House of Representatives, even though he did not get the most votes in a closed door caucus meeting. Historians will no doubt debate the exact moment that Republicans’ eyes glazed over and they dully started chanting, “Yeah. I. Have. Confidence. Jim. Will. Be. An. Excellent. Speaker.”
Despite this, Jordan was rejected on the first ballot, with 20 Republicans voting for other candidates. He has vowed not to give up, saying that if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again.
While waiting for his uncertain coronation, Jordan said, “We’re going to keep working.” This came as a surprise to reporters, who had been trying for months to determine what, exactly, it is that he does.
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2023/ALLPOLITICS/10/18/reps.main/index.html]
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To Be Fair, It Wasn’t Ready For What Spring Or Summer Brought For The Homeless
So, At Least It’s Consistent
For What That’s Worth…
“Our city isn’t ready for what winter will bring for homeless”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=2690537725]
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I Would Have Tried Listening To It At One Eighth Speed, But I Was Afraid It Would Summon One Of The Great Old Ones, And I’m Out Of Sugar And Cream For Coffee
If you have ever seen Vivek Ramaswamy speak, you know he gets his words out very quickly. As a joke, I wondered what he would sound like if I slowed his voice down. The results were…interesting.
When I played the quote “Transgenderism is a mental health disorder. We have to acknowledge the truth of that for what it is. It is not compassionate to affirm a kid’s confusion. That is not compassion. That is cruelty” at half speed, for instance, it sounded like: “Lady Gaga is a Montreal kishka order. Weddings at college the Bluth for shivs. Ass not compression formally contusion. That’s no compression. That’s my wife!”
Playing the quote at one quarter speed was even more enlightening: “German blintz manufacturers breed occasion. Do not under any circumstances overcook the soup. Anchors away, my friend and klutz-mate. Anchors aweigh. That is cruller.”
It’s fascinating what politicians inadvertently reveal about themselves.
SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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Aha! Now, The Shoe Is On The Other Bodyless Foot!
I Liked Being a Jew More When We Were the Oppressed
Our drone pilots have long longed for a virtual trip
To the miserable hellhole that is the Gaza Strip.
For a chance to try out the latest weapons, they would flip
(Not that we want that last little bit of reality to slip).
Concerned our violence will stoke Palestinian fury?
Trust us, there is no need to worry.
Israel’s on the side of everything that is kind and decent and nice,
And our weapons are very precise.
There is, of course, a vast gap
Between our 21st century weapons and Hamas’ homemade crap.
With our iron fist, we will, the small peninsula of land enwrap.
It would be so much easier if we could just wipe them off the map.
Arab terrorists hide among innocent millions;
Can we be blamed if, going after them, we kill too many civilians?
Be more careful? Please! We don’t need your advice!
Everybody knows our weapons are very, very precise.
Is there international outrage at the bombing of a hospital in Gaza?
We can’t hear it, la la la la la la la
Every act of violence in the Middle East has a
Reasonable explanation. The al-Ahli hospital bombing was a
Terrorist attack on Israel gone horribly wrong.
Bombing the country into rubble? Now we’re singing a different song.
We didn’t bomb the hospital, and our word will have to suffice.
We couldn’t have made such a mistake, because our weapons are very, very, very precise
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/888.html]
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Your Chances Of Re-election?
When asked about his flip-flop on developing the Greenbelt, Ontario Premier Doug Ford pointed across the aisle in Queen’s Park and shouted, “Sarah Jama said mean things about Israel’s treatment of Palestinians!”
Umm…okay. When another reporter asked about the spa the government planned to build at Ontario Place, Premier Ford loudly responded, “Did you not hear what I said? Jama! Jama! Jama! Mean things! Israel! Israel! Israel! Get with the program!”
In response to a third reporter’s question about withholding funding for health care, Premier Ford hit himself in the forehead with the palm of his right hand and screamed, “Can we please focus on what’s important, here!”
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2005/01/22/509727.html]
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Ukrainialand – That’s Next To Rusher, Isn’t It?
I’ve Never Been Good At Imaginary Geography
The Internal Revenue Service claims Microsoft owes the US Treasury $28.9 billion in back taxes. It argues that between 2004 and 2013 the company reported lower profits in high-tax countries and higher profits in lower-tax jurisdictions in order to minimize its overall tax burden.
“Where have I heard that before?” smirked former President Donald Trump. “They learned it from me, that’s where. They find my bookkeeping methods inspiring. Hunh. Inspiring. Not like the thugs and criminals and – oops, did I cross a line, there? I’m sorry. I meant ‘very fine people’ – in the New York Attorney General’s office. Those people, man. They probably eat rutabagas for breakfast. They look like rutabaga eaters, don’t they? Whaaaat? Can’t a president talk about rutabagas without violating the conditions of his bail? And that’s why Vladimir Putin will win the war in Ukrainialand!”
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB113413397491118404,07.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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