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Proof That Human Greed And Stupidity Are Constants Across Universes
News from the Multiverse of Madness:
Earth Prime 3-5-3-6-9-4 dash Upsilon – Despite the fact that deaths from car accidents have skyrocketed, opponents of mandatory seat belt laws have stymied all efforts at legislation to deal with the problem.
“It’s my body,” said well known anti-seat belter Maxima Switt. “I’m not going to let the government tell me what to do with it!”
Earth Prime 2-0-0-0-5-5 dash Gamma – Despite the fact that deaths from second-hand cigarette smoke have skyrocketed, opponents of mandatory no smoking in public places laws have stymied all efforts at legislation to deal with the problem.
“It’s my body,” said well known pro-smoker Maxime Switt. “I’m not going to let the government tell me what to do with it!”
Earth Prime 0-0-0-0-0-7 dash Alpha – Despite the fact that deaths from COVID-19 have skyrocketed, opponents of mandatory vaccination laws have stymied all efforts at legislation to deal with the problem.
“It’s my body,” said well known anti-vaxxer Maximo Switt. “I’m not going to let the government tell me what to do with it!”
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=35695641314971318843fx]
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In Politics, That’s The Way The Limerick Rolls
Justin Trudeau
Thought he’d have an early go
He made a calculation
That a snap election would give him majority elevation
Little did he know…
Erin O’Toole
Thought everybody he could fool
Though putting on a moderate face
He dog-whistled to his radical base
The things one does to rule!
Jagmeet Singh
Had trouble with the whole leadership thing
Turning into a terrible bust was
His campaign for social justice
More votes it did not bring…
Yves-François Blanchet
Didn’t have much to say
He continued his party’s long trek
To create a sovereign Quebec
That will be the day!
Annamie Paul
Had it worst of all
While for the planet she should have been fighting
Her party was rife with political backbiting
Causing her to be distracted by a possible recall!
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/820.html]
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They’ve Been Listening To Too Much Steve Martin
How times change! In 2001, a small leader took the United States into an unnecessary war. In 2021, small leaders are criticizing a President intent on ending an unnecessary war.
SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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Scents And The City
Man, this city reeks! Every time I pass by a garbage bin walking around downtown, I am overwhelmed by the smell of rotting…I don’t even know what, and I don’t want to know. It’s horrible. Even through a mask.
I blame global climate change.
Unless…it’s me. I…I haven’t showered in a day or two. Okay, several days. Fine, to be perfectly honest, it’s been a week. Maybe more. I don’t go out – why bother? I’m pretty sure the smell lessens between garbage bins, but it could just be that my nose sometimes gets used to the smell, so it could be me.
I blame COVID.
Except, if I had COVID, I would lose my sense of smell – problem solved. So, I’m going with global climate change. Now, could we please get the trash bins emptied more often before people start fainting on the streets from the smell?
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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There’s The War You Wish You’d Fought In And The War You Actually Fought In
Nam, Man! My Surreal War Adventure
Tracey Cicatrix
Doctorow Wayne & Schuster Publishing
327 pages
A Vietnam War memoir? At this late date? Get over yourself, dude! All the cool kids are writing autobiographies of their time as Afghanistan war vets now!
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.44.87/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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They Could Release All Of Their Singles As A Charity Album
Too Bad They Couldn’t Agree On What Cause To Support…
In response to Eric Clapton releasing a single about COVID-19 vaccine and mask mandates called “This Has Gotta Stop,” Paul McCartney released a single called “Stop Embarrassing Yourself Ol’ Man.”
A month later, Clapton released another single with the title “Stuff It, Maca, You Tool Of the Government Propaganda Machine!” Three weeks after that, McCartney released his own single with the title, “At Least I’m Not Killing Me Own Fans, Eric.”
A couple of weeks later, Justin Bieber released a single called, “Two Old Farts Waiting To Die Need To Get a Room.”
SOURCE: LotsMusic
[http://www.lotsmusic.com/news/?thedate=8/30/2021.htm#1]
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Terrorist Tourists Are The Worst!
Jamal Foozbek has been sentenced to 20 years in prison with no chance of parole for his part in the January 6 insurrection.
“This is a horrible miscarriage of justice!” complained Foozbek’s lawyer, Israel Gezundheit. “My client was a tourist walking through Washington at the time of the violence. He had nothing to do with it! Anyway, while the people who were actually there to protest are getting a couple of months in jail and a year or two of parole, maybe, they threw the book at my client. Why would the court do that?”
Because he was wearing a “defund the police” t-shirt?
“But, he wasn’t!” Gezundheit protested. “Jamal…left his ‘defund the police’ t-shirt at home.”
Because he was brandishing a weapon he had with him?
“Absolutely not!” Gezundheit insisted. “Jamal is such a pacifist, he uses a plastic knife to cut meat so that he doesn’t hurt it. Meat!”
Because he’s from New Jersey?
“Yeah,” Gezundheit reluctantly agreed. “He’s from Jersey. That must be it…”
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2021Aug31.html]
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In BC, Carding Takes On A Whole New Meaning
The national union representing RCMP officers says it is concerned about recent statements by Premier John Hogan regarding police enforcement of the province’s COVID-19 vaccine card system.
“I’ve stared down arsonists high on crack,” stated Brian Sauve, president of the National Police Federation. “No sweat. I have gone toe to toe with psychopathic serial killers. Piece of cake. But, I don’t want to have a confrontation with any anti-vaxxers. Pardon my French, but they scare the shit out of me!”
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2021/08/29/509727.html]
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