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The Daily Me Staff
Now We’re Getting Nowhere!
Karl Rove is giving up his post as White House deputy chief of staff to focus on the upcoming mid-term elections. He remains senior adviser and the chief policy aide of President George W. Bush.
What does this mean in practical terms? Rove’s hold on government has gone from this:
To this:
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=450&dir=bb
Best Not To Question Such Things
arnold) When the softwood lumber deal between Canada and the United States was signed, it was trumpeted by the press. When, a few days later, Canada signed up to extend NORAD indefinitely – not to mention expanding it to include threats by sea as well as in space – t’weren’t hardly a peep. What’s up with that?
a) “The Prime Minister was planning to make the announcement at the next Party Congress. You know how the Prime Minister loves surprises.”
b) announcing getting $4 billion and 34 per cent of an important market or admitting that another country is patrolling your coastlines…hmm, tough call
c) NORAD agreements are the ugly stepsister of international negotiations
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
https://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca
The Pussycats Save The Dei
Owing to the upcoming release of the Tom Hanks thriller The Da Vinci Code, based on the bestselling novel by Dan Brown, the religious organization Opus Dei is trying to rehabilitate its image. “Really,” one member of the secret organization stated, “we’re just a bunch of pussycats.
“Super-secret shadowy pussycats who adhere to a strict Catholic doctrine that includes traditional gender roles and regularly flogging themselves for the sins of their flesh, maybe. Still, everybody has to have a positive public identity nowadays…”
SOURCE: Unicycle
http://www.unicycle.com/new.php?p=articles&id=381&but=allis1
April Fool’s Dei
I got it! I got it! I got it!
The secret message in Justice Peter Smith’s ruling in the plagiarization case against The Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown is: The meaning of lif. No, seriously. Take the third letter of every fifth word in the italicized portions of Justice Smith’s ruling, except for the fourth paragraph, where you have to take the fifth letter of every third word (except the second, which is only two letters long), and you’ve got it. More or less. And, this is perfect because, of course, it’s a book by Douglas Adams, who also wrote The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which, as any schoolkid can tell you, posits the answer to life, the universe and everything as 42. Of course, as any zygote can tell you, according to the Kaballah, the number 42 represents –
Oh, yeah. I live for this stuff!
SOURCE: Mike’s Ultimate Conspiracy Page
http://www.ignoremeatyourperil.com/conspiracy2338.html
Maid In The Shade
This weekend, the final part of Jan Wong’s series “Made in Canada,” where the intrepid Glob reporter goes undercover for a month as a prostitute. She’s been beaten, harassed by police, had her money stolen – three times – and contracted a variety of exotic and mundane diseases. What lessons has she learned from all of this? Find out this weekend.
The Glob and Maul – it’s not just a newspaper, it’s the beginning of an argument.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20060426.eladvote0426_@/BNAd/
He Almost Sold That One, Too
“I don’t ordinarily like sequels, but Raccoons on a Plane – I mean, as soon as they told me the title, I was sold. I mean, it’s motherfucking raccoons…on a plane! You know what I mean? The motherfucking idea practically sells itself! It…it…
“Okay, yeah, I did it for the money. You’d best believe it was a shitload of money, too.”
– Samuel L. Jackson
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2006/2006/04/03/theplane truth/
No Wonder Their Circulation Is Declining: Even They Don’t Read The Words They Just Wrote!
“B.C.’s poshest condo: $10M. View: Priceless”
– National Post
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376533033
I Thought He Was A Uniter, Not A Decider
“I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation,” said President George W. Bush after six former generals called for the resignation of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. “But I’m the decider, and I decide what’s best.”
This phrase was written by Michael Gerson, Bush’s speechwriter. And, Carl Rove okayed it. And, of course, Bush ran it by his good friend Condoleezza Rice before making it. Oh, and he tested it out of Miss Beasley’s third grade English class, where it was overwhelmingly approved. Otherwise, he was the decider. Yeah. Sure, he was.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2006Apr22.html
If They Weren’t Bastards, They Wouldn’t Live In The East
PREMIER: Okay. We’ve managed to get the last drop of oil out of the ground. Now, what?
AIDE: W…w…what do you mean?
PREMIER: What do we do with the surplus we developed over the boom years?
AIDE: We don’t have a surplus developed over the boom years.
PREMIER: We don’t?
AIDE: We gave it away in tax cuts.
PREMIER: Oh. Well, good thing we invested in our industrial infrastructure so the province has a sound economic base.
AIDE: Well, uhh, actually, we didn’t, so we don’t.
PREMIER: We didn’t?
AIDE: No.
PREMIER: We don’t?
AIDE: Afraid not.
PREMIER: Well, what the hell are we supposed to do now?
AIDE: Blame the eastern bastards?
PREMIER: Brilliant!
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32323641314641314687er
Bullied Are The Peacemakers
Christian Peacemaking Teams are un-Christian. What are they thinking, going to Iraq to bear witness to the war? Jesus Christ did not bear witness to anything! Jesus Christ kicked ass! Jesus Christ took names!
What would Christ do? Christ would pilot a Viper that dropped cluster buster bombs on villages harbouring terrorists. Christ would be a gunner in an Abrams tank, patrolling dusky borders and shooting anything that moved.
The next time American troops are passing by a building where Christian Peacemakers are being held hostage, they should just keep going. Let the bastards drown in puddles of their own self-righteousness. That is what Christ would do!
SOURCE: The O’Meilly Report