Thank you, Random Character Genghlpo9ydsy;; Inc., for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we heard that a biker rally will be converging on Ottawa this weekend. Our first response was a big yawn – spin-offs are never as entertaining as the original show. But then we discovered that Chris “What Are You Denying Today? Whaddya Got?” Sky, who was one of the supporters of the truck convoy, will be speaking at the bike convoy. Not only that, but Veterans for Freedom and Freedom Fighters Canada, two groups associated with the biker convoy, have ties to the truck convoy. Well, that changes everything! This is going to be like Walter White and Jessie Pinkman appearing on Better Call Saul! This is a spin-off that might actually be as much fun as the original!
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
They’re Features – Sorry If That Bugs You
In testimony at a trial that could see her banned for life from running for public office, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene demonstrated the two qualities that would make anybody a perfect candidate for the Republican Party in the upcoming mid-term elections: no moral compass and a terrible memory.
SOURCE: Cohan
[http://teamcoho.com/video/opening-monologue-04-22-22]
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Offence And Trump Go Hand In Glover
Corey Glover, lead singer for Living Colour, has mixed feelings about the band’s song “Cult of Personality” being played at Donald Trump rallies. “On the one hand, the song was written about people like Trump, so it is kind of fitting,” Glover said. “On the other hand, Trump. Eww!”
SOURCE: LotsMusic
[http://www.lotsmusic.com/news/?thedate=6/22/2005.htm#1]
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I’m More Pro-active About The Future (I Do Wordle)
Dear Twitter Shareholders,
Ordinarily, we would be publishing our quarterly report at this time. It would include statements of revenue, profits, numbers of users and projections for the coming quarter. You know: financial stuff. However, with Elon Musk’s apparently successful takeover attempt of the company, who knows what the future will bring?
Twitter could keep growing as it has for the past few years – in fits and starts and never enough to satisfy market watchers. Or it could become the next GeoCities or – shudder! – Truth Social. There is no way to know. In fact, Musk could turn Twitter into a company that takes tourists to the bottom of the ocean. At $347,000 a trip. He’s done worse.
So, the rest of this report is going to consist of images of cars driving themselves on highways, spacecraft coming into port above Mars and other images that you can colour in (you supply the pencil crayons). You may as well have something to do while you’re waiting for the future.
Parag Agwaral,
CEO
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-3794147940736139500-0389627cahs01.html]
So…An Adult Diaper Won’t Help Him With Mens Rea?
Mens rea is not the male propensity for verbal diarrhea (although in the current case it would be wholly appropriate). It is actually the Latin legal term (because pig Latin is only used in court documents in South Carolina every other Thursday) for “awareness of guilt.”
After the insurrection of 1/6, The Man Who Would Be Speaker, Republican Representative Kevin McCarthy, was mens reaing all over the place. He mens reaed in text messages to Mark Meadows. He mens reaed in text messages to Steve Scalise. In all, he mens reaed in over 80 text messages to anybody in the Republican party who would read them.
How unsanitary!
McCarthy knew the riot at the capitol was morally wrong, and he vowed to do something about it. Did he confront soon-to-be former Dictator-in-Chief Donald Trump? Naah. Did he vote to certify Joe Biden’s electoral college victory? Of course not! Are you not paying attention? Did he make his concerns about the violence public? Seriously, are you living in some wondrous alternate reality, and, if so, how can we join you?
No, McCarthy never acted upon his well-founded outrage. In fact, it wasn’t long before he was spouting the Big Lie (that the 2020 election was stolen from Trump), making him at least an accessory after the fact.
How has the public release of McCarthy’s texts affected his relationship with the ex-somebody important? Trump shrugged and announced that he didn’t hold it against McCarthy. In the Basket of Deplorables, this is code that McCarthy is a dead speaker walking, he just doesn’t know it yet.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
Trump And Putin: Two Peeps In A Pod
With reports of soldiers torturing civilians, raping women and bombing schools and hospitals, it becomes harder and harder to deny that when it comes to the Russian invasion of Ukraine, the cruelty is the point.
The latest atrocity is – wait. Where have I heard that before?
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/4206744200420420.xml]
Those Who Don’t Learn From History Are Doomed To Defund It
In its latest budget, the Ontario government has quietly cut $1.3 billion from education. This should just about cover the amount of revenue the government will lose by giving a rebate to everybody who has licence plates for the cars.
If I didn’t know any better, I would swear that an election is coming!
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=417087]
The Mystery Is Like A Matryoshka Doll, Albeit With A Single Layer
RUSSIA: Why does everybody hate me?
UKRAINE: (panting) If you would just…take your knee…off my…throat…
RUSSIA: I am a richly cultured country with a long history of thriving under adverse conditions. I should be loved and admired the world over, yet everybody hates me.
UKRAINE: Having…trouble…breath…ing…
RUSSIA: I maaaaay have done bad things in the past. But that was a long time ago. And anyway, every country has closets in their skeletons. But that doesn’t mean that we’re all hated equally. No! Everybody chooses to hate me. Why do they hate me?
UKRAINE: Pass…pass…passing…owww…
RUSSIA: Does anybody have any ideas about why everybody hates me? Anybody at all?
LONG PAUSE
RUSSIA: You’re right. They’re probably jealous of how fabulous I am!
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1030&dir=bb]
If The Name Was Any Blander, It Could Be Used As A Dessert On An Airplane
X (formerly Ryerson) University has finally chosen a new name for itself: Toronto Metropolitan University. Already, people living in the Toronto suburbs are complaining that the name discriminates against them. Unfortunately for them, because the new name isn’t a tribute to a person, there are no statues to decapitate.
SOURCE: The Chronicle of Lower Education
[http://lowerchronicle.com/weekly/v6/i13/36a02601.htm]