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Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
They Don’t Need Bail Because They’re Not A Fight Risk
Fight, Democrats, Fight!
Fight, Democrats, fight!
Against the fascism of the right!
Write a devastating editorial note
About how Republicans are suppressing the vote;
Be sure to overload it with many an obscure quote
And a shiny statistical coat.
That’s how you fight, Democrats, fight!
Fight, Democrats, fight!
Against an international blight!
When Russia goes on a killing spree,
Give Ukraine some missiles that sting like a bee,
But nothing too incendiary
Because you wouldn’t want to start World War III
That’s how you fight? Democrats, fight!
Fight, Democrats, fight!
Don’t go gently into that good, good night!
Investigate but don’t prosecute a political coup
While worrying about what the Republicans would do.
Because some day they’ll be in power, too,
And then they just might come after you!
That’s how you fight? Democrats! Fi – oh, never mind.
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/829.html]
They Had To Let The Accused Woman Go, If Only Because She Didn’t Look Good In Red
A woman who was arrested on charges of murder for causing “the death of an individual by self-induced abortion” has been released on grounds that “she did nothing against state law.”
“You have to admire the dedication of our police officers to protect the unborn,” commented Sheriff’s Major Carlos Delgado. “I mean, they often go above and beyond the call of duty to get the bad guys. Far above. Way beyond. If they sometimes see crimes that aren’t, strictly speaking, there, it’s because they care so deeply about unborn children.
“Please, don’t sue us.”
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/texas/2022-04-09-aborted-charges_x.htm]
Bye Bye Bobby
Bobby Rydell, the singer whose top 40 singles included “Wild One,” “Volare” and “Forget Him,” has died of complications of pneumonia at the age of 79. The pompadours of all the cool kids will be flown at half mast for 24 hours.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
Did He…Did He Just Call The New Democrats Satan?
Is There An Equivalent To Godwin’s Law In The Discourse Of The Religious Community?
“I’ve not been a perfect leader. I’ve made mistakes. I ask that you not compare me to the almighty, but to the alternative.”
– Alberta Premier Jason Kenney to those who would judge his tenure at a leadership review
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
It Won’t Exactly Be A Happy Ending For The Governor, But Perhaps That Can Be Addressed In The Sequel…
Dan and Bran’s Excellent Adventure
starring Daniel Harris and Brandon Caserta
written and directed by Ty Garbin
Two stoners who just want to get high and hang with their buddies become involved in a plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Will the jury at the trial of our happy-go-lucky heroes accept that they were tricked into participating, or will they have to do hard time? Do you really think Hollywood is going to risk alienating its audience by not giving it a happy ending?
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0168999/]
Never Trust Somebody Whose Hand Looks Like It’s Trying To Strangle Him – And Not Bright Enough To Do The Job Properly
The first rule of Coup Club is: Don’t talk about Coup Club. The second rule of Coup Club is: Don’t talk about Coup Club. Clearly, Donald Trump, Jr. did not get the memo. Or, knowing the long-time resident of the Basket of Deplorables, he probably did get the memo, but briefly glanced over it, decided it was too boring to merit his attention and delegated it to the “to be used as toilet paper” pile.
It’s a very big pile.
Junior’s lawyers have suggested that he didn’t write the message to the President’s Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, that he merely forwarded something that one of his legion of fans wrote to him. Because we all receive love letters to insurrection, and the first thing any of us would do with them is to share them with one of the most powerful people in the government.
“Hey, Mark,” you can imagine the conversation going, “look at the awesome followers I have! They really want my dad to remain as the President, even if he didn’t exactly, you know, win the election and stuff. And they have ideas about how to make it happen. Lots of ideas about how to make it happen. Great ideas about how to make it happen. So, what do you think? Can we make it happen? Pft! Of course we can! Thanks, Mark. You’re a pal!”
It’s easy to imagine Meadows nodding his head sagely while reconsidering his decision to cooperate with the 1/6 Commission’s investigation into the insurrection.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
If He Behaves Himself, The Suspension Could Be Extended Another Decade
Because he slapped Chris Rock after the comedian made an offensive joke about his wife, Will Smith’s membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has been suspended for ten years. Among other things, this means he will not be allowed to attend the Oscar ceremonies. To which Smith responded, “Thank you! Thank you! Oh, good Lord, thank you!”
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
Saudi Arabia Was Too Busy Counting Petrodollars To Bother Running For The Seat On The Cou – What?
The United Nations General Assembly voted Thursday to suspend Russia from the UN Human Rights Council in the wake of credible allegations that the country has committed human rights abuses in Ukraine. To which any reasonable person would respond, “Russia was on the UN Human Rights Council?” and offer to clean the spit off the person they were sitting opposite.
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1122747700265560.xml]