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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha – oh.
Where did the world’s innocence go?
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The Daily Me Staff
THAT Is The Hillier You Choose To Die On‽
Ontario MPP Randy Hillier is sick of locking down when he would rather be locked and loaded. I get that. Nobody enjoys sitting at home watching the pages of the calendar fall off the wall to the floor. Not only is it a helpless feeling, but it creates a mess on the floor that nobody has the will to clean up.
Hillier talks about shame as though it is an emotion Conservatives actually feel. The last time a Conservative felt shame, humanity was just setting foot on the moon. Given the intransigence of the modern Conservative Party (their members are so transigent, you could be forgiven for mistaking them for telephone polls), it might take as much inventiveness and effort as a moon landing to make them feel shame again.
How are we supposed to take the MPP seriously? Hillier is the sort of person who would stand in a grocery checkout lineup and scream at the masked teen behind the counter, “How dare you try to save my life, you f*cking fascist! Take off that damn mask so I can live free!”
Strange definition of freedom, you ask me. Though, it’s just the sort of thing you would expect to find in the Dictionary o’ Deplorables.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Republicans Accuse President Of Falsely Claiming To Be An Astrophysicist
“I know what it’s like to not be there when it happens. I know what it’s like when you are there holding their hands: there’s a look in their eye and they slip away. The black hole in your chest – you feel like you’re being sucked into it.”
– US President Joe Biden responding to the 500,00th COVID-related death in the country
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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If Anything Was Going To Survive Brexit, You Had To Know It Would Be Yes, Minister
According to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, his government’s recent budget could, perhaps, possibly, just may potentially lead to a stronger economic recovery than pessimists had predicted.
“Could the Prime Minister have qualified that statement any more?” wondered Labour Leader Sir Keir Starmer.
“I might, perchance, maybe,” the Prime Minister responded. “That’s the thing I really like about the future: it is alive with possibility!”
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.news.semaphore.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUderDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUderDE/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s119/Os/14/
e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=21216]
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You Could Consider Him The Cawthorn In Cuomo’s Side
Some people believe that there is no difference between the two main American political parties. Hunh! Some people believe that there is no difference between armadillos and Abrams tanks! There’s just no reasoning with those some people!
For those of you with an open mind on the subject, the following chart may be clarifying:
| North Carolina Senator | New York State Governor |
| Republican | Democrat |
| allegedly lied about his academic record | allegedly lied about the number of deaths due to COVID in New York’s elder care facilities |
| allegedly lied about the accident that cost him his legs | nope, I got nothing comparable to this |
| claimed, falsely, that Democrats were behind the Capitol insurrection | condemned the Capitol insurrection |
| is alleged to have sexually harassed women while at college | allegedly harassed women while in office |
| is considered a rising star in his party | his party leads the call for an investigation of his conduct; if true, it will demand his resignation |
| did I mention that he’s a Republican… | …and he’s a Democrat? |
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1001&dir=bb]
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Ten Ways You Know You’re Living In A James M. Cain Novel, Number Seven
“My wife may be poisoning me for insurance money”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1087622027]
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Nothing Is Certain But Death And Texas
Three states, Georgia, Florida and Texas, have decided to lift mask wearing requirements and open up their economies without restriction. This will likely have devastating consequences for the communities of colour in those states, which suffer disproportionate amounts of death from the disease.
“This is the ultimate voter disenfranchisement programme,” commented Democratic activist Stacey Abrams. “Obviously, you can’t vote when you’re dead!”
“Is she kidding me?” Texas Governor Greg Abbott retorted. “Dead Democrats vote all the time. That’s what our new, stricter elections laws are trying to prevent!“
And, you wonder why people tune out politics?
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2021/ALLPOLITICS/03/04/reps.main/index.html]
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Where’s Waldo?
And, What’s His Bail This Time?
The Waldo Party is currently under review by Elections Canada.
Waldo Waltropp was able to get the 250 signatures necessary to register as a political party. As a result, he ran in the last federal election in the riding of North York-Wishful Thinking. His platform consisted of the slogan “More Babes, Less Barbarians.” Political analysts are still unclear if Waltropp thought the country was being overrun by Persians, Egyptians, Medes and Phoenicians, or if he just disliked the name Conan.
Waltropp’s campaign web site prominently featured a naked young woman reading a newspaper (not the Startle) that covered her private parts. Mostly. It turns out the young woman was Eleanor Festrunk, Waltropp’s former girlfriend, who did not give him permission to use the image, who, in fact, had a restraining order against him.
Elections Canada is now looking at the possibility that the reason Waltropp ran was to access the country’s voter database, which is available to all registered parties, to find out where his former girlfriend had moved to. There may also have been a problem with the signatures he collected, which include: Mordecai Richler (dead), Justin Timberlake (not Canadian), Alan Waxman (dead), Maurice Richard (dead), Spongeburp Sloppydroopypants (fictional) and Louis St. Laurent (very dead).
The fact that he only received 17 votes, most of them from people he hung out with at the Ferkin and Herky Jerkin two blocks from his home, suggested that he hadn’t taken the election seriously,. Much less run because he wanted to make the country a better place.
“Yeah, that sounds like something Waldo would do,” Festrunk commented. “He always was a bit…extreme. Why do you think I sicced the restraining order on him? Because I like to hang around with lawyers? Sure, I like to hang around with lawyers, but – ferking journalists! Why am I talking to you, again?”
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=2748391831813&call_pageid=968334378492&col=968666989489]
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