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Ketchups If U Can

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Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Musk See Punditry

Finally, after weeks of dithering, Elon Musk held a bot vote to determine whether or not to allow President Trump back on Twitter. Musk announced that fifty-one per cent of the bots voted to reinstate him, but, of course, this is fake news: in reality, at least 98 per cent of the bots voted to reinstate him. That’s how popular the President is with digital constructs pretending to be real people.

But you know what President Trump did? He said no to Elon Musk. You heard that right. Nope. Not gonna happen. In your dreams, pal! Sure, Twitter is magnitudes larger than Truth Social. And President Trump’s tweets got more attention from the mainstream media than anything he has ever written on his own social media network. But he looked at the chaos Musk has brought to Twitter, and he thought, I don’t want to have anything to do with that loser!

That’s just the kind of strategic thinking that made Donald Trump the President that he is.

SOURCE: Turducken Carlson This Late Afternoon

[https://www.fixed.com/turducken-carlson-this-late-afternoon/]
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And The Public Isn’t Cheering For Any Of The Contestants

Chief Justice John Roberts doesn’t understand why the public perception of the Supreme Court is so dismal. Perhaps it’s the quality of the people who have been appointed to the bench:

  • a frat boy who would rather be drinking beer than respecting judicial precedent
  • a prissy school marm who hates women
  • a black man who hates black people and will go to any lengths to protect his extreme right-wing activist wife from the consequences of her anti-democratic actions
  • a man who exists under the delusion that it’s still 1776, and is willing to leak court decisions to prove it

Come on, John! This isn’t a Supreme Court; it’s an episode of Survivor: Washington!

SOURCE: The Legal Unintelligibler

[https://www.law.com/thelegalUnintelligibler/2022/11/21/-/]
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If The Dots Were Any Bigger, They’d Connect Themselves!

SOURCE: Economics for Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/home.asp?did=608&dir=bb]
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Hell Hath No Fury Like A Turtle Scorned

Could there be a sadder entity
Than a turtle who has been denied a Senate majority?
He slaved away at the far right’s agenda;
To bend (or break) the rules on him his leaders could depend, a
Loyal servant to power through and through.

How was the turtle rewarded? With a slate
Of eminently unelectable candidates.
Backed by his Orange Overlord
They hung upon his every word.
Unfortunately, of winners there were few.

Despite the turtle’s loyal service,
His disappointment should make his Orange Overlord nervous.
Though not foolish enough for a direct confrontation.
He knows myriad ways to manipulate the situation –
The turtle will have his due. The turtle will have his due.

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/851.html]
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Kitchen Table Issues? House Republicans Would Rather Dine Out On Scandal…

REPUBLICANS BEFORE THE ANNOUNCEMENT: President Joe Biden is responsible for the fact that you have to mortgage your house just to buy a box of corn flakes! Inflation is killing working class families – it is literally creeping into their bedrooms in the dead of night and strangling them while they sleep! Then there’s the invasion of illegal aliens on our southern border, taking terrible-paying jobs away from hard-working Americans who don’t want them and using up all of the services offered by our frayed social safety net! The public doesn’t want excuses! The public doesn’t want platitudes! The public wants solutions to these dire, dire problems!

THE ANNOUNCEMENT: Republicans have taken control of the House in the mid-term elections.

REPUBLICANS AFTER THE ANNOUNCEMENT: Hearings! Hearings! Hearings! And more hearings! Hunter Biden’s laptop – we always knew something sinister was going on there, and now we have the power to get to the bottom of it! Political interference at the Justice Department – how dare they investigate Republicans on the pretext that the national cops had sufficient evidence to believe that they had committed crimes‽ President Joe Biden – just because…reasons! The public’s main priority is for us to get to the bottom of these scandals!

SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills

[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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He’s The Father Of Somebody Famous…I Think…Maybe…

Jon Voight seems to be awfully upset about something, as the video posted to his Twitter account attests. It has something to do with lies – that much is clear. He seems to think the lies are coming from the left – perhaps he’s deaf in his right ear.

Voight also seems to think that political divisions in the United States are going to lead to a world war, although how that would happen is a little unclear. Perhaps the alliance of Joe Biden and Satan has something to do with it, although my understanding of the situation is that the End Times aren’t expected for another year and a half.

This leaves me with only one question.

Who is Jon Voight?

SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Be Thankful You’re Not A [INSERT NAME OF TARGETED GROUP HERE]!

Here’s a fun little game you can play to while away the hours this Thanksgiving weekend. We call it The American Mass Shooting Drinking Game. Here are the rules:

1. If a mass shooting occurs in the United States within one week of Thanksgiving, take a swig of beer for every person the shooter kills.

2. If anybody says their “thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families,” take a shot of Sambuca.

3. If a Democrat says that the Republicans should tone down the rhetoric against [INSERT NAME OF TARGETED GROUP HERE] because it is getting people killed, take a long gulp of hot black coffee.

4. If a Republican says that the killer was crazy, take two swigs of whisky.

5. If the Republican goes on to say that the shooting had nothing to do with the Party’s rhetoric against [INSERT NAME OF TARGETED GROUP HERE], take a shot of vodka.

6. If a Democrat argues that this is why gun control measures are needed, take a long gulp of hot black coffee.

7. If a Republican argues that gun control measures are forbidden by the Constitution because the Founding Fathers anticipated the carnage on American cities and decided it was a necessary price for freedom, drink a glass of gin.

8. If a Democratic gives a lecture on the meaning of “a well regulated militia,” take a long gulp of hot black coffee and a baby aspirin.

9. If a Republican claims Democrats are coming for your guns because they hate your freedom, drink a glass of rye and hit yourself in the head with a hammer.

The last person to pass out in an alcoholic stupor wins. Alternately, if more than one person is conscious (broadly defined) an hour after the game has begun, a tie may be declared at the discretion of the least drunk person at the party.

SOURCE: The Wawaneesa Group Monthly Newsletter

[http://mnc.com/flexmere/ontologicon/wawaneesa/internal/newsletters/November2022.txt]
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