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It Can Be Painful To Disappear Into The News (Black) Hole
The devolution of news over time:
Hamas attacked Israel, killing over 1,200 and taking over 100 hostages. In response to the Hamas terrorist attack, Israel started bombing Gaza; at least 2,300 people were killed. The Israeli bombing of Gaza continued, with over 5,000 dead. Israeli bombing of Gaza, including civilian infrastructure such as schools, hospitals and religious buildings, intensified: over 20,000 dead. Israel considered a ceasefire. Israel rejected calls for a ceasefire. The United States urged Israel to consider a ceasefire: “Call it a humanitarian pause if that makes it easier for you.” The Israeli blockade of Gaza is estimated to be resulting in a massive famine; as many as 600,000 people could be starving. Israel insists it won’t be part of a ceasefire, humanitarian pause or any other cessation of its ground invasion of Gaza until the remaining hostages are released and Hamas is completely destroyed.
SOURCE: Wryerson X University Corporate Named University Journalism Review
[http://www.cnuuniversity.ca/jr/online/micheline-starr1.html]
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The Only Question Now Is: Will The Reptile Reaper Get To Him Before He Has A Chance To Resign?
Mitch McConnell, the turtle who walked like a political leader, has announced that he is packing up his shell and going home. Which, uhh, means that he will be stepping down as leader of Senate Republicans as of the November election.
McConnell will be remembered as a hyper-partisan who bent the rules of the Senate until they begged for mercy – and then bent them further until they screamed they would do whatever he wanted if he would just make the pain stop – in order to enact his hyper-partisan agenda. He will likely most be remembered for stacking the Supreme Court with barely qualified judges.
“No way!” former President Donald Trump angrily interrupted. “That was me. I did that!”
Did you hold up Obama’s pick of Merrick Garland for an empty Supreme Court seat for eight months because it was an election year, then hold hearings for Amy Coney Barrett for a different seat three weeks before an election? I don’t thi –
“Fake news!” Trump shouted. “A complete hoax! Election interference! There’s nothing wrong with my hair or my tan! Scallops should never be cooked in diesel oil, but that’s what the immigrants invading our country do! They were my Supreme Court judges! *SOB* Mine!“
Ack! I can’t work under these circumstances. I’ll continue this article when the noise has died down.
SOURCE: The Hill You Die On
[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448842-journalissimo-interruptus]
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People Have Such Narrow Minds
Who Says Ripping Off The Government Can’t Be Part Of A Political Agenda?
A public service employee who was paid nearly $8 million to work on a government app to track the vaccine status of travellers ran as a People’s Party of Canada candidate who opposed vaccine mandates.
The Absurd Ironyometer concluded it had chosen to pursue the wrong career in life and wondered if it was too late to choose a new path.
SOURCE: Big Alex’ Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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In A Time Of Raging Egos, The Hole In The Self-deprecating Humour Sphere Will Be Deeply Felt
Comedian Richard Lewis has died at the age of 76 of a heart attack. Mourners are asked to be honest in their opinions of him – they couldn’t possibly say anything worse about him than he has already said about himself.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Total Eclipse Of The Head
A lot of people have been making fun of Toronto Catholic elementary teachers who want to work from home on April 8 because they fear the harmful effects of a solar eclipse. They should take the teachers’ concerns more seriously.
Everybody knows that eclipses are a time of weakened barriers between universes. A solar eclipse, in particular, would allow demons from other dimensions to enter our world, where they would roam the streets looking for people whose souls they could suck out for their sustenance.
But are secular governments willing to do what they have to in order to protect children? Of course not!
SOURCE: Frank’s Fourth In Line To Be The Ultimate Conspiracy Page
[http://www.ignorefrankatyourperil.com/conspiracy2304.html]
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Unnatural Causes Only Happen During A Total Eclipse
Traitor to the Russian people Alexander Navalny has died of natural causes in prison.
Of course, in a Russian prison, falling out of a seven story window (in a four story building), your body full of poison, including a bullet to the back of the head, is natural causes.
SOURCE: Demi-TASS
[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744369]
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You Can Judge A Man By His Fiends
Elon Musk is suing OpenAI and its CEO Sam Altman, claiming that the organization’s close ties to Microsoft betrays its founding aims of benefiting humanity. As an early investor in the company, Musk feels he has standing to bring this lawsuit.
“Give them hell, Elon!” @heil2daCHIEF wrote on TwitterX. “Anybody who isn’t working towards benefiting humanity is verminous scum!”
“Keep fighting the good fight!!!” @SatanSoros also wrote on TwitterX. “Some people have no moral core – those people need to be exterminated with extreme prejudice!!!!!”
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/240227/geeklynews/01elonmuskhahahaohhahaha.htm]
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Good Luck Trying To Get Kids On Playgrounds To Change!
I was torn. On the one hand, the term “idiot” technically refers to somebody with an IQ below 20; using the term to describe a variety of foolish behaviours stigmatizes people who, through no fault of their own, are not that bright. On the other hand, the word has been incorporated into a variety of colourful phrases that it would be a shame to stop using.
To solve this dilemma, I would suggest that, when it has not been used in its clinical sense, we replace the word “idiot” with the word “bugfuggle.” So, a dupe, especially in politics, would be “a useful bugfuggle.” Somebody who shows all of the intellect of a medieval fool would be referred to as “a village bugfuggle.” And of course, television could be described as “the buggfuggle box.”
I think this would work. But I may just be a silly old bugfuffle.
SOURCE: Michelle’s Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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