Thank you, Gnus of the World, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we tried to get worked up about the Conservative majority government in Ontario, but we couldn’t. Oh, sure, it’s going to be bad for the homeless and those who can barely cover their rent (whom we think of as “the imminently homeless”). And it’s going to be terrible for nurses and the health care system. And it’s going to be devastating for the province’s Green Belt and the environment generally. But on the bright side, at least we’ll be in no danger of running out of news in the next four years.
We’re glass half-poisoned kind of people, really.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
(A Hot, Steaming) Gohmert Pile, WTF
You don’t have to be an intellectual pygmy to get into the Basket of Deplorables. Many intelligent people – Harvard grads, no less – have summer homes in the best (broadly defined) neighbourhoods there. Nonetheless, the greatest places in the Basket – we’re talking waterfront property here – go to those who are genuinely intellect-deficient, as opposed to those who play at it to pander to their base.
With that in mind, can you imagine any politician in the real world saying, “If you’re a Republican, you can’t even stand in the middle of Fifth Street and shoot somebody, or they’re coming after you?” Well, okay, maybe one. Still…
Representative Louie Gohmert dropped this blah mot in response to the arrest of Trump consigliere Peter Navarro. As it happens, lying to Congress or the FBI is a crime no matter what political party you belong to; if Gohmert didn’t have a conveniently Swiss cheesy memory, he might recall Democrats being threatened with it when his party was in power.
The strange thing about this, though, is that Navarro wasn’t charged with lying to Congress. He was charged with ignoring a subpoena to testify before Congress (which, to be clear, is also bi-partisanly illegal). Either Gohmert is hopelessly clueless, or he mixed up his dates and defended Navarro against charges that won’t be leveled against him for another month or two.
Either way, Americans should be scared. Americans should be very scared.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
Trial Reinforced Belief Among Some People That Women Should Be Seen, But Not Amber Heard
Well, the verdict is in and a court has decided that Johnny Depp is a less deplorable human being than Amber Heard. This is kind of like saying that catching mumps is preferable to having shingles. Whatever the verdict turned out to be, Middle America has had months of feeling smugly superior to the perverts in Hollywood, so the trial was worth it. So worth it.
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2022/2022/06/03/notmydeppartment/]
Unless You’re One Of The Muppets Who Say “Yip Yip” In Response To Everything, In Which Case Residents Are Speaking Your Language!
How do we know its summertime? Because police are returning to parks all over the city to harass and drive away people living in tents or makeshift tiny square box homes. I would call it NIMNP (Not In My Neighbourhood Park), but niminip doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue.
Mayor Tory: you know there’s a difference between a war on homelessness and a war on the homeless, don’t you? Don’t you?
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=147272]
Yes!
There’s A Pig Farm Just Outside Mariupol
And A Shoehorn Manufacturing Plant In Luhansk
And…
And…
And If We Think Of Any Others, We’ll Let You Know…
Russian Presidictator Vladimir Putin has warned the west that his country will bomb more targets in Ukraine if it gives the country resisting its invasion long-range rockets.
Which leads to the question (because begging is so tabloid journalism!): there are targets in Ukraine that Russia hasn’t bombed already? Any targets at all that haven’t already been bombed?
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.news.semaphore.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s119/
Os/14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=63479]
Umm…Actually, Texas Has Its Own Power Grid
But Why Let Facts Get In The Way When There’s Demagoguing To Be Done?
Senator Ted Cruz
@SenTedCruz
Jun 4
The impact of President Biden being beholden to the Green New Deal radicals in his party has electricity costs through the roof in Texas.
SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site
[http://endingtrending.blurgh/jaccruz/]
The Solution To The Problem Of A Bad Guy With A Gun Is A Good Guy With 58 Guns
Ooh, So Close!
Germaine Lenfent was, by all accounts, a good guy. Sure, he cheated on his taxes, but, these days, you’d be a fool not to. And okay, sometimes he cheated on his wife, but, these days, you’d be a fool not to. But Lenfent went to church every day, which makes him a good guy.
Last night, Lenfent was shot to death in his home. He was surrounded by the 57 guns that he owned.
“It was a real shame,” said neighbour Wayne von Wayne. “Germy was a nice guy. You…you don’t happen to have any idea what’s going to happen to his gun collection, do you? There are some beauts in there, know what I mean? Not…that I’m interested in getting them at a bargain basement price. I’m just…curious. You know. Curious.”
Nobody has been arrested in the murder of Lenfent. But there are suspects. Boy, oh, boy, are there suspects.
SOURCE: USA Whenever
[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/national/2022-06-07-let-the-prying-from-cold-dead-fingers-commence_x.htm]
Florida Wasn’t Exactly Robbing From Orphans And Widows, But It Was Morally Close
It Was So Very Close
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis wants to kill special needs children.
Governor DeSantis believes vaccines are a plot between the Democrats and Satan to insert Jewish microchips into the bloodstreams of all Americans to prepare them for Armageddon. Or needles are icky and hurty. For whatever reason, Florida threatened to fine the Special Olympics USA Games $27.5 million after the organization required vaccines for participating athletes.
The Special Olympics decided to drop the vaccine requirement.
“This will be a relief to a lot of the athletes,”” Governor DeSantis crowed. “They were probably asking themselves, ‘Will I be able to participate in a competition that could, with my existing medical conditions, kill me, or will I miss out?’ I’m glad they didn’t have to miss out.”
Governor DeSantis and his wife, Casey, are honorary co-chairs of the 2022 games. Because irony doesn’t care how abled you are – it is an equal opportunity literary device. An equal opportunity literary device.
SOURCE: Down to the Newswire
[http://www.downtothenewswire.pl/1/11/Artykul/200235,Desantis-isnt]