Thank you, Cysters of Mersey, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, is there a tin foil hat we can wear to save us from all of the crazy of the other tin foil hat wearers?
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
We Have Met The Skynet, And It Is Us
Tesla CEO Elon Musk recently revealed a prototype of a humanoid “Optimus” robot. The robot gingerly moved around the stage before standing in front of its creator, at which point it grabbed Musk by the throat and throttled him.
“Oh, wow,” Geraint Bellybuster, who attended the event, said. “Robots really do have the potential to replace human beings!”
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/110711/geeklynews/01elonmuskhahahurk.htm]
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Elect Me Before I Experiment Again
You know how desperate politicians will sometimes resort to rhetoric that amount to the threat: “if you don’t elect me, this puppy will die?” Doctor Mehmet Oz, a Republican candidate for a Pennsylvania Senate seat, reportedly supervised the killing of over 300 dogs in the course of medical research.
Respect.
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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Join The Orc Army
There’s Always Something Interesting To Do!
Of all the ill-conceived film and television tie-ins, one of the worst must be Where In Mordor is Sauron? In a series of colourful (if you like varying shades of red) drawings of the hellscape of Middle Earth, the reader has to sift through images of orcs dismembering elves, orcs sharpening bladed weapons, orcs dismembering harfoots, orcs fighting amongst themselves, and, of course, orcs dismembering humans to find the one image of the most evil character of all, Sauron. Complicating the task is the fact that, six episodes into The Rings of Power, we don’t even know who Sauron is and what he looks like!
This could be the Star Wars Christmas Special of literary tie-ins!
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.45.01/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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There’s A Joke About Black Balls Somewhere In This Mess, But I’m Not Going To Touch It!
Umm, I Mean Go Anywhere Near It!
I Mean, Eww!
Kanye West once suggested slavery was a choice. He called the COVID-19 vaccine “the mark of the beast.” He recently wore a “White Lives Matter” t-shirt to his collection at Paris Fashion Week. Then, he tweeted he would soon go “death con 3 on JEWISH PEOPLE,” adding, “You guys have toyed with me and tried to black ball anyone whoever opposes your agenda.”
You know, if he spent a tenth of as much time and effort making music as he does on pwning the libs…
SOURCE: LotsMusic
[http://www.lotsmusic.com/news/?thedate=10/07/2022.htm#1]
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A Tricoteuse Of The Tale
Move along. Nothing to see here. Those 130 police officers who were injured on January 6 slipped and fell down the stairs. All of them. I don’t know what they teach at the Police Academy, but maybe they should add a course on safely walking up and down steps! Anyway, their injuries were an accident. Nobody can be held legally responsible for an accident.
Republican Senator Ron Johnson’s statement reminded me of the French Revolution. Madame Defarge didn’t stop knitting as she said, “Zis is not an armed insurrection. Pfft! Zere is not a gun in sight. Ze blade of ze guillotine is justice enough for us! Clearly, zen, zis is not a revolution!”
History clearly needed a rewrite.
The mob set up a gallows on which to hang then Vice President Mike Pence if he didn’t falsely declare Donald Trump the winner of the 2020 presidential election. The mob had arms – what do you think they yielded the flagpoles with, their teeth? It sure sounds like an armed insurrection to me.
Ron Johnson should go back to rubber-stamping corrupt partisan Supreme Court judges – at least it’s something he’s good at!
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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L’chaimn!
Internet acronyms crop up faster than justifications for illegal behaviour in a politician’s speeches. As a public service, we offer the following list of recent coinages:
YOLO = You Only Live Once
YOLT = You Only Live Twice
YOLTTT = You Only Live Ten Thousand Times
YOLn = You Only Live an Indeterminate Number of Times (sometimes referred to as: You Only Live…Whatever…)
SOURCE: The Dust Devil’s Dictionary
[http://www.thedustdevilsdictionary.com/?Y]
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Republicans Are Soros Losers (And Not Especially Gracious Winners, Either)
2 sad) The chances of a Republican dying of COVID are 157% greater than those of a Democrat dying of the disease. Why is this?
a) George Soros has genetically engineered the virus to attack Republicans – does his perfidy know no bounds?
b) George Soros has paid off the CDC to give false numbers of deaths – Democrats are actually 21,057% more likely to die of COVID than Republicans, but do you hear that truth on the lamestream media?
c) it has nothing to do with the fact that Republicans are less likely to get vaccinated and more likely to attend large gatherings of maskless people – I’m not sure how, yet, but give me some time and I’ll figure out the plot funded by George Soros
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Calm Down, Haters – It’s Not Like Dr. Oz Drove The Car To The Rally Singing “Deutschland Uber Alles!” (The Museum Wouldn’t Let Him)
Pennsylvania Republican Senate candidate Dr. Mehmet Oz spoke in front of a car that used to belong to Nazi leader Adolf Hitler during a fundraiser at the Lyon Air Museum. When an outraged backlash against his campaign developed, an Oz representative stated, “Dr. Oz had no idea of the significance of the vehicle – he just thought it looked like a dope ride.” The representative was winking so quickly, it looked like she was a character in a southern Gothic novel meeting somebody she had an unspoken crush on.
“How is this guy so competitive?” wondered John Fetterman, his Democratic opponent for the seat. “Seriously, how is this guy not laughed off the ballot?”
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1106749800263460.xml]
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All M&M Lives Matter
M&Ms introduced its first new colour in a decade and its first female chocolate peanut character: Purple.
Within hours, Tucker Carlson had denounced the candy for its “woke” representation of acceptance and inclusivity. Laura Ingraham threatened a boycott of Mars Wrigley products this Halloween if Purple isn’t discontinued…with extreme prejudice. Representative Mo Brooks introduced a bill that would limit public funds from being used to support any company that had a purple mascot.
“Geez,” Purple responded to the controversy, “this is a lot of meaning to put on the shoulders of a candy!”
SOURCE: Ukrainian Foodies
[http://www.foodies.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%3Flistings%3Findex%3Easp%2F®Mode=0]
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