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Bildungsroman Polanski

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Thank you, Bildungsroman Polanski, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, a sex shop on College Street was fined for being open during lockdown. A sex shop! If there was ever a business that should be considered essential…!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Conspiracy Theorist Intent On Fishin’ (Micro)chips

We all know COVID is a hoax – have you ever met anybody who “died” of the “virus?” I mean verifiably, of course – I’m not talking about your Aunt Jimmy who was really strangled in her sleep but they said died of COVID. No, not Luke Letlow – he choked to death on a banana peal. Everybody knows that. No, not Tom Hanks, he – is he even dead, yet? Look, the point I’m trying to make, here, is: since nobody is dying of COVID, why is the government so set on having us get “vaccinations” for the “disease?”

It’s because the vaccinations secretly contain microchips that will monitor and control our every thought. It’s true! On January 20, everybody who has been vaccinated will go around confiscating each other’s property and believing that Joe Biden won the 2020 Presidential election fair and square and not thanks to bears.

SAVE YOURSELF FROM A FATE WORSE THAN FRITTERS! STRIKE A BLOW FOR FREEDOM! DON’T GET VACCINATED!

SOURCE: Mike’s Ultimate Conspiracy Page

[http://www.ignoremeatyourperil.com/conspiracy2292.html]
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Proposed “Truth In Tuna” Act About To Get A Second Reading

A cat that was saved from a waste plant in Ulyanovsk has become a local celebrity and been given the honourary position of Deputy Environment Minister. As it sat in a government official’s chair, it licked its nether regions and plaintively meowed for something to eat.

Environment Minister Gulnara Rakhmatulina smiled and responded, “He will fit right in!”

SOURCE: Demi-TASS

[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744303]
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So…The Best Approach Is Irrationality, Praise, Approval And Lollipops?


“Research suggests that logic, criticism, shaming, legal sanction – assumed to be social pressures likely to change this behaviour – seems only to strengthen anti-mask beliefs and increase anger.”

Toronto Star editorial


SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Conspiracy Theorist Is Such A Fraught Term – We Prefer To Be Called Truthspiracy Theorists

You know, I like Mike. He’s contributed a lot to the truthspiracy movement over the years, much of it sensical. Hell, we’ve been on several survivalist weekends, and we’ve mostly survived. But, I gotta tell ya, when he gets things wrong, he’s really out to lunch! And, not the kind anybody in their right mind would want to eat, either!

Microchips wouldn’t fit into syringes of “vaccine!” It’s just logic! Maybe even physics! They would make a loud screeching sound as they scraped the insides of the glass as the doctor administering the “vaccine” pushed the plunger, and there is no way they could come out of the little hole at the end of the needle! Honestly, that’s the sort of idea that gives conspiracy theorists a bad name!

Everybody knows that the “COVID” “vaccine” contains a psychotropical drug that will make everybody who gets it think that they’re living on a Caribbean island – we’ve come a long way since the CIA illicit substances trials of the 1960s! While everybody is high and enjoying imaginary mai tais, the government will swoop in and confiscate all of our toaster ovens!

IF YOU LOVE EGGO WAFFLES, FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM! DON’T LET THE GOVERNMENT VACCINATE YOU!

SOURCE: Bob’s Penultimate Conspiracy Page

[http://www.ignorebobatyourperil.com/conspiracy2391.html]
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Maybe If W Were Offered A Lollipop Instead…


“Canada risks being shamed for vaccine-hoarding ways”

Toronto Star


SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=2886534926]
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Or, You Could Just Chalk It Up To The Nonsense Well And Move On

When people ask me how I am able to write so much humour after many decades of practice, I often say that I seem to have a bottomless well of nonsense that I can call on when I need it. Sort of like President Trump.

Ack! Ptui! Ptui! Ptui! Ptui! Did I just claim commonality between me and the soon-to-be-former-President and not-long-after jailbird? Where’s the soap? I got a mouth that needs a good washing!

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Although They Should Have Known That Even If The Woman’s Gun Had Not Been A Prop, She Would Never Have Been Able To Hit Them With It

Lethbridge police officers took to the ground a woman wearing a Star Wars stormtrooper costume as part of a promotion for the restaurant where she worked. It’s good to know that Alberta police officers are able protect us from Darth Vader – we were worried.

SOURCE: Festerin’ Report

[http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/feature2222222.html]
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I Would Rather Smell The Freedom Than Smell The Glove, But The Decision Wasn’t As Easy As You Might Think…

Bob would be a great contributor to the truthspiracy community if he only had a little imagination.

When Mike said the COVID “vaccine” would contain “microchips,” he didn’t literally mean “microchips.” That would be silly. He meant, nanobots the size of precious snowflakes that would enter a person’s bloodstream, go directly to their brain, do not pass the blood/brain barrier, do not collect 200 picograms of plasma. Once inside your skull, they are programmed to assemble into microchips that control your every yadda yadda yadda.

SAVE YOURSELF FROM A FATE WORSE THAN SMEAGOL! SMELL THE FREEDOM BY NOT GETTING VACCINATED!

SOURCE: Gerald’s Next To Penultimate Conspiracy Page

[http://www.ignoregeraldatyourperil.com/conspiracy2294.html]
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You’ll Confess? To What? I Haven’t Accused You Of Anything

William Link has died at the age of 87 from congestive heart failure. I hate to bother you, but there’s just one other thing: he was an Emmy Award winning television producer. You knew that? That’s good. That’s good. Oh, ah, while I’m here, I just wanted to mention that he produced a lot of TV movies in the 1970s and 1980s about social issues that were largely shunned by the networks. I’m sorry, am I annoying you? My wife says I have a habit of annoying people by rambling on, although I think there’s something I forgot to mention…if you – if you just gimme a second, I’m sure it will – oh, right. Link was the co-creator of the series Columbo, starring Peter Falk. If I think of anything else – you’ll what? Really? This is just an obituary – I don’t think we need to get lawyers involved, unless, you know, you’re feeling guilty about something…

SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us

[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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I Can Imagine That
Frankly, It Keeps Me Up At Night!

Sigh. Imagine what the truthspiracy community could accomplish if we didn’t think everybody else in it was part of the problem!

SOURCE: Frank’s Fourth In Line To Be The Ultimate Conspiracy Page

[http://www.ignorefrankatyourperil.com/conspiracy2309.html]
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