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Baseless Allegations and Gratuitous Insults, Inc.

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His Math May Have Been Off, But His Heart Was In The Right Place

According to an investigative report on the incident, by the time the Uvalde, Texas mass shooting was brought to an end, almost 400 law enforcement officials were on the scene at the Robb Elementary School.

“We were clearly mistaken,” NRA President Wayne “Yeah, I Can’t Believe I’m Still Here, Either” LaPierre responded to the news. “It doesn’t take one good guy with a gun to defeat one bad guy with a gun. It takes 377 good guys with guns to defeat one bad g – you know what? To be on the safe side, let’s say it takes…412 good guys with guns to defeat one bad guy with a gun. Yeah. Four hundred and twelve good guys. That seems about right.”

SOURCE: Disassociated Press

[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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We Know, But We’re Not Telling – Tee Hee
Even Presidents Need To Experience The Mysteries Of Existence

The final public hearing of the House January 6 Committee will focus on Donald Trump’s dereliction of duty during the insurrection. “This is going to open people’s eyes in a big way,” said Republican committee member Adam Kinzinger. “Stand back and stand by. It’ll be wild!”

Former President Trump’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as he said, “Wait. Where have I heard that before?”

SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer

[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1386739770211460.xml]
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When The Spectral Hand Reaches Out Of The Bellows Towards The Child? Shivers! Every Time I See It, Shivers!

Polkageist
starring Craig T. Nelson, Jobeth Williams, Weird Al Yankovic
directed by Stu Spielberg (Steven’s younger, less talented cousin)

“It starts with the moans of the dead being heard in the background when accordions are being played. It ends…in terror!”

Given the way blood spurts and body parts fly these days – and that’s just in children’s TV shows! – it’s difficult to imagine that there was a time when horror movies focused more on psychological scares than gore. Released in 1982, Polkageist is a good example of horror before Eli Roth.

Hard to believe we were ever that innocent.

SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database

[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0342757/]
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What’s To Understand? They Read Orwell At A Very Young Age, And They’ve Been Carrying Him Around In Their Hearts (Broadly Defined) Ever Since

Dear Editor,

They complain about cancel culture at the same time as they ban books. They outragedly denounce big government, while in the next breath praising the expansion of the security state. They exalt freedom while their representatives pass laws to remove rights from citizens. They venerate Ronald Reagan while opposing everything he stood for.

I don’t understand modern Republicans.

SOURCE: The Postington Wash

[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2022Jul16.html]
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And We’ll Pick Strawberries Out Of Each Other’s Ears And Write Letters To The Editor Until Our Fingers Bleed, And Never Lose Another Election Again No Matter How Much Fraud Our Opponents Commit, And…And…And…
Obviously, The Alien Symbiotes On Johnson And Trump’s Heads Communicate With Each Other


“Some people will say as I leave office that this is the end of Brexit, oh yes, and the leader of the opposition and the deep state will prevail in its plot to haul us back into alignment with the EU as a prelude to our eventual return, and we on this side of the House will prove them wrong, won’t we?”

– Britain’s ex-Prime Minister to be Boris Johnson


SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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It Was The Shortest Trial In The History Of The Country
Fortunately For The Lawyers, There Are Always Appeals…

The prosecution in Steve Bannon’s contempt of Congress case rested after two witnesses. The first witness said, “What Bannon did was illegal.” The second witness said, “Bannon has no defence for his illegal behaviour.”

The defence called no witnesses. In its closing statement, it said, “The prosecution doesn’t know what it’s talking about. Blah blah blah!”

SOURCE: The Legal Unintelligibler

[https://www.law.com/thelegalUnintelligibler/2022/07/22/the-shortest-trial-in-american-history-also-the-most-bombastic]
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It Could Be A Fitting End To a Hawley Terror

See Senator Josh Hawley pump his fist in front of the pro-Trump mob at the Capitol on January 6. Pump your fist, Josh. Pump your fist.

See Josh run away from the angry mob that had stormed the Capitol building a couple of hours later. Run, Josh, run.

See Josh attempt damage control. Attempt damage control, Josh. Attempt damage control. See the public laugh at Josh’s attempts at damage control. Laugh at Josh’s attempts at damage control, public. Laugh at Josh’s attempts at damage control.

See Josh’s public image be completely and utterly fucked. Be fucked, Josh. Be fucked.

SOURCE: The Hill You Die On

[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448833-guess-hell-jump-on-his-hawley-and-ride-off-into-the-sunset]
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Where’s Cormac McCarthy When You Need Him?
With Melissa McCarthy, They’d Make A Hell Of A Bridge Game!

Ah, the 1950s, when white Christian males didn’t have to worry about being called into a Congressional committee to get asked potentially embarrassing questions about their personal lives. Honestly, nostalgia in the basket of deplorables is so thick, you could be forgiven for thinking it was Ax body spray!

This well-fed face, which looks like its owner is auditioning for the role of Grumpy Cat’s memeplacement, belongs to Garrett Ziegler. Not a well known figure in the Trump White House (although everybody there is a supervillain in his own mind), Ziegler was an aide to Trump trade (and insurrection) adviser Peter Navarro. He was the person who held the door open to allow some of Trump’s most controversial allies into the White House for the now-infamous December 2020 meeting where invoking martial law was discussed.

Because even when plotting the overthrow of your government, it’s important to observe the niceties.

Does it make sense to call people investigating your role in a coup attempt Bolsehviks when their government is actively opposed to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine (especially when your party isn’t)?

Oh, what the Hell? If it was good enough for Joseph McCarthy, it’s good enough for Kevin McCarthy (wherever he may be these days).

SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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