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Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
You Have To Defy The Laws Of Physics To Spin Longer Than The Top In Inception, But If Anybody Can Do It…
Comrades, the special military operation of Ukrainian liberation from Ukrainians is going well! Think of how many of our brave sons and daughters have taken the opportunity to give their lives for the homeland! Their sacrifice will warm our hearts for generations to come!
All praise to President Vladimir Putin! His speech on the Ukrainian special military operation was a grand statement of purpose, an ode to the glory of Mother Russia. It was not, as the corrupt Western media have characterized it, “unhinged.” No! It was visionary in a way the average Russian citizen, let alone foreign enemies of the homeland, could not possibly comprehend.
SOURCE: Demi-TASS
[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744354]
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Encourages Them…To Lead Full Lives?
ANARCHISTS: Don’t vote – it only encourages them.
CORPORATIONS: Don’t pay them a living wage – it only encourages them.
POLITICIANS: Don’t zone for affordable housing – it only encourages them.
POLICE: Don’t serve and protect – it only encourages them.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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This Poem Needs A Sump Pump
Kanye. Elon. Trump.
If they were an apartment, it would be a dump.
Kanye West makes the world a little badder
By wearing racist t-shirts like “White Lives Matter”
To fashion events. To ensure he stays in the minds of the sheeple,
He tweets he’ll “go death con 3 ON JEWISH PEOPLE.”
A black man spouting racial prejudice?
He knows on which side of the burnt toast his butter is.
Offensiveness is in his DNA
Kanye.
Kanye. Elon. Trump.
On the road to reason, they’re a huge speed bump.
Elon Musk wants you to know that he’s no quitter
(Unless we’re talking about his attempt to buy Twitter).
He’s a tireless advocate of free speech
(Especially for a narcissistic former President who was twice impeached).
Incite a violent insurrection? Sure you can!
(As long as it enhances his long-term financial plan).
The ability to make money trumps any social wrong
Kanye. Elon.
Kanye. Elon. Trump.
The Donald’s always happy to take advantage of another chump.
Stoking outrage? He knows how to rock it;
Especially when there are millions of dollars to pocket.
He’ll happily lead his country into the sewer
Convincing millions it smells of roses, not manure.
They are there for all to see,
A strange unholy trinity,
For whom far too many Americans would highly jump.
Kanye. Elon. Trump.
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/843.html]
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Morning Radio Gets To The (Warm) Heart Of The Matter
“And just to show that we’re not complete bastards, Dick, I’d like to share the heart-warming story of little Tommy Filament. Just eight years old, Tommy was so concerned about people going unfed that he started a food bank in his garage. Well! That food bank was so successful that he started a second one! That just about -“
“That’s a heart-warming success story to you, Dick?”
“Takes the ca – what? Well, I mean, it’s a story that illustrates the can-do spirit of Canadian youth, Dick. That warms my heart.”
“If somebody has to open a second food bank, doesn’t that mean that more people are suffering from food insecurity? Wouldn’t a heart-warming story actually be one where nobody needed food banks any more?”
“Dick?”
“Di -“
“Hunh! Some people wouldn’t know a heart-warming moment if it wore an ‘I’m a heart-warming moment, asshat!’ t-shirt, shouted, ‘I’m a heart-warming moment, motherferker!’ and bit them on the heart-warming ass!”
SOURCE: C-DIK – Big Dick Radio
[http://www.edgy095.com/]
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An Apartheid State That Kowtows To Religious Extremists And Persecutes Palestinians – What’s Not To Appreciate?
Apparently, not content with being the king of the United States, former President Donald Trump wants to be king of the Jews. Because we all know how well that turned out for the last person who was thrust into the position!
Appreciate what we have in Israel before it’s too late? Too late for what, Donald? Evangelical Armageddon? To stop ourselves from losing all our hair? Dinner? Honestly, Donald Trump is the Slartibartfast of political threateners!
Advising Jews on how we should act? Seriously? Remember: this is a former president who said that many of the protesters chanting “Jews will not replace us!” were fine people. Of course Jews won’t replace you – Jews don’t shoot so low. We have some standards, you know!
Autocrats frequently conflate their personal identity with the national identity, but most stop at a single country. Only The Donald would make the statement “If you attack me, you’re really attacking ____________” multiple choice!
Trump seems to think the US and Israel are neighbours, ignoring an ocean and thousands of additional years of history. And why wouldn’t he? In the Basket of Deplorables, geography is just a state of mind.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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I Think I’ve Mined That Word For All The Meaning I’m Going To Get Out Of It
War (between two selfish individuals): A meeting of the mines.
Land War (between two selfish countries): A meeting of the mines.
SOURCE: The Dust Devil’s Dictionary
[http://www.thedustdevilsdictionary.com/?W]
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The Marquess Da Smith Is Just Getting Started
1/2 buckle my shoe) Match the position taken by Alberta Premier Danielle Smith with how quickly she reversed herself on it.
a) it would be better for Ukraine to follow Russia’s desire to remain militarily neutral, parts of Ukraine might not be happier under Russian influence and Ukraine provoked the conflict
b) unvaccinated people “have been the most discriminated against group that I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a situation in my lifetime where a person was fired from their job, or not allowed to watch their kids play hockey, or are not allowed to go visit a loved one in long-term care or hospital, or not allowed to go get on a plane to either go across the country to see family or even travel across the border.”
c) “As for the most recent uproars: not a single mass grave was discovered in Canada last year. The several sites of unmarked graves that captured international headlines were either already-known cemeteries, or they remain sites of speculation even now, unverified as genuine grave sites… In none of these places were any human remains unearthed.”
i) light speed + 1
ii) faster than a lover’s sigh in a cyclone
iii) slower than a snail that has just smoked a Cheech and Chong-sized doobie
3…4 slam the door (on justice) How did Smith ever become Premier?
a) she really has a way with a memorable phrase
b) the Ukrainian population in Alberta was distracted
c) in right-leaning jurisdictions, extreme rhetoric Trumps rationality
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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