Thank you, The Daily Me – Alexis Madrigal, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, Rogers Communications completely destroyed its advertising slogan “Canada’s most reliable network” with a massive service outage. Hackers? Maybe. Russian? Could be? Mole people chewing through underground infrastructure? We can’t rule any possibilities out at this point.
The results were devastating. People who could no longer look at porn on the internet had to actually talk to their partners. People who could no longer buy products online were left wondering what had happened to the corner store where they used to buy products. And of course everybody wanted to complain about their lack of connectivity, but they couldn’t access the appropriate web forums – or, for that matter, any web forums.
Then, we remembered that we were also on Rogers, and it occurred to us that we shouldn’t be able to publi
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
There’s Nothing Political About The Public Relations Team On The Approach To The Eighteenth Green Willing To Denounce Any Player Who Disparages The Kingdom
Nothing At All
The Saudi Arabia-backed LIV golf tournament is proving to be like no other sporting event of its kind. Lurking in the bunker of hole five, for example, are half a dozen members of the Religious Police who are allowed to smell the breath of players to see if they have imbibed any alcohol or pork products and arrest any who test positive.
“You think that’s bad,” responded golfer Pat Perez. “The dogleg on the seventh hole of Augusta has always given me worse trouble!”
Then, there is the sand trap hidden in the trees on the fourteenth hole. Hidden within it is a hit squad ready to murder and dismember anybody declared an enemy of the state by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Their bodies are then smuggled off the course in their own club bags.
“That’s pretty bad,” golfer Brooks Koepka allowed, “but it’s nothing compared to dinner at my in-laws!”
Is it hard to maintain the facade that this is just a golf tournament and that the only responsibility of the players is to play? “You have no idea,” Koepka answered.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml.htm#50738003225]
You Must Admit: Johnson Has…Guts…
The Conservative government of Boris Johnson has declared that Britain can unilaterally change the terms of the Brexit agreement if it doesn’t like them. Terms like the hard border between Ireland and Northern Ireland, for example.
As he zip-lined to work, Prime Minister Johnson asked, “That’s the way international relations work, isn’t it?”
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.news.semaphore.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!4qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s119/Os/14/
e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=60002]
No Self-respecting Ogre In Its Right Mind Wants To Join The Campaign Of The Lich Queen
When you discover that white supremacists are using your protest to further their own agenda, there are a lot of ways you can respond. You can create t-shirts that say, “I’m not with stupid —–>.” You can create t-shirts that say, “<--------- Stupid's not with me." You can write a press release condemning white supremacy and saying in no uncertain terms that representatives of that group in no way speak for your movement.
When you live in the basket of deplorables, as does Tamara Lich, one of the organizers of the self-proclaimed “freedom convoy,” you will always choose the path not taken (mostly because the trees on either side of it have been burned to ashes).
Vivre all the difference?
Lich, of self-proclaimed Metis descent, seems to believe that invoking indigenous status is enough to get her whatever she wants (like nobody noticing the Nazi or confederate flags that were displayed in the early days of the convoy). If this were true, indigenous Turtle Islanders would be sipping mai tais by the sunken pools in the backs of their mansions. In reality, many are lucky to be sipping beer by the sinks in the kitchen of their trailers.
But the racist adjacent have never been cynicism averse.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
Better That Than The Time The Prime Minister Got Head Butted By A Moose At The CNE
We’re Still Trying To Live Down That One!
With its delays, cancellations and snarky skycaps, may travellers consider Pearson International to be the worst airport on the planet.
Finally, Toronto gets recognition for being a world-class city!
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=539041]
Foolish Consistency Is The Green Goblin Of Small Minds (And Spiderman Lives In A Different Universe!)
I don’t need to wear seat belts, because car accidents don’t happen any more.
I don’t need to get home insurance, because fires, tornadoes and swarms of locusts never endanger homes these days.
I don’t need to wear masks or social distance because people have stopped being infected with COVID.
At least they’re consistent.
SOURCE: Bill’s Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
Prime Minister Johnson’s Actions A Kick In The…Teeth Of Democracy
Over 60 caucus members, including several cabinet members, have resigned from the British government. Despite this, Boris Johnson has declared that he will remain as Prime Minister even if he is the last Conservative standing.
Bungee jumping off a short bridge (it’s okay – he was wearing a helmet), Prime Minister Johnson asked, “That’s the way national governments work, isn’t it?
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2022/jul/06/enjoy-the-double-entendres-while-you-still-can]
An A-to-Z For Effort
Atom Bomb
Blueberry Bombe
Car Bomb
Debt Bomb
Euro Zone Bomb
Fuck Bomb
Generation Bomb
Hydrogen Bomb
Imagination Bomb
Junk Bond Bomb
K-pop Bomb
Love Bomb
Movie Bomb
Neutron Bomb
Orgasm Bomb
Population Bomb
Q Bomb*
Relationship Bomb
Sourdough Bomb**
Television Bomb
Unexploded Bomb
Virginia is for Lovers Bomb
Wikipedia Bomb
Xistential Bomb
Youth Bomb
Zombie Stock Bomb
* may be fictional
** may be delicious
With all the weapons around us, is it any wonder so many Americans are afraid of dying?
SOURCE: Entertainment for Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=677&dir=bb]
Twitter No Longer A Musk Have For The Man Who Wants Everything?
Elon Musk has announced that he no longer intends to buy Twitter. Does this mean his commitment to free speech has wavered?
“Free speech?” Musk scoffed. “I was set to lose billions of dollars on the deal. What’s free about that‽“
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/220711/geeklynews/01socialmediahahaha.htm]
Politician Fed Up With Being Kicked In The…Euphemisms
Suffering from an increasing number of defections from his government, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has resigned.
That’s how national governments work.
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2022/07/06/onesorrytory220706]