Are You Sure? Isn’t It Possible They’re Staying Away From The Church BECAUSE They Really Know How Religion Works?
“There are an awful lot of people now of a certain generation who don’t really know how religion works.”
– Bishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams
On The Other Hand, I Never Got My Arm Broken By A Woman…
“Screw it… We’re centering the show on two very damaged men. What makes men damaged? Sorry, it’s women. I never got my heart broken by a man.”
– Lee Aronsohn, explaining the treatment of women on his show Two and Half Men
Pure Innovation/Pure Greed, It Can Be A Fine Line
Fortunately, We Have A Professional To Guide Us
“It’s a state-of-the-art platform. Hence the delays and the challenges that they’re encountering – it’s pure innovation.”
– Maryse Harvey, of the Aerospace Industries Association of Canada, explaining problems with the F-35 fighter plane
I’ve Learned My Lesson: I No Longer Display Homophobia In Public…
“I just did some dumb things and if anybody was hurt by that or offended by it, obviously, I apologize. I participated in a lot of hijinks and pranks in high school.”
– Mitt Romney
My Mind?
“Is there something worth keeping ad-free?”
– Toronto Star
Baird Knuckle Politics:
Long Guns Don’t Kill People, Carbon Taxes Do
“Why should taxpayers have to pay for more than 10 reports promoting a carbon tax, something which the people of Canada have repeatedly rejected? That is a message the Liberals just will not accept. It should agree with Canadians. It should agree with the government to no discussions of a carbon tax that would kill and hurt Canadian families.”
– Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird
People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Pianos
“It would have been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage…in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.”
– Bristol Palin responds to President Obama’s position on same sex marriage
Democracy Forbid Decisions Get Left To THAT Mangy Lot!
“Mayor Rob Ford’s push to reduce costs by privatizing more city services suffered a major setback after his opponents yanked control over future outsourcing into the political arena of city council.”
– Globe and Mail article
Even My Teenage Nephew Daniel King Knows Better Than That
“If this is the best they can do…then obviously the Afghan security forces and others are having a significant impact.”
– NATO spokesman Colonel Daniel King on coordinated Taliban attacks on US, British, German and Russian embassies, the parliament building, NATO headquarters and a military academy
A War On Women Caterpillars, On The Other Hand…
“If the Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that Republicans have a war on caterpillars, then we’d have problems with caterpillars. It’s a fiction.”
– Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus, responding to the allegation that his party is waging a war on women
That’s What Provinces Are For, Silly!
“The government has not built a single new prison since 2006 and has no intention of building any new prisons.”
– Public Safety Minister Vic Toews
Thus Perpetrating The Myth That The Editing Process Always Makes For Good Writing
“What was Poe doing that made him ponder, weak and weary? Why, quoth The Raven, he was chasing a serial killer who was perpetuating ghastly crimes inspired by the horror master’s vivid imagination and fleet pen.”
– Toronto Star review of the film The Raven
Is There Craziness? No, There’s No Craziness. But, There Is Insanity…
“Is there a quota? No, there’s no quota. But, there is an expectation…”
– Deputy Chief of Police Peter Sloly on traffic tickets
Seriously? Satire That Doesn’t Offend Somebody OFFENDS ME
“Satire is the salt and the thermometer of a democracy, as long as it doesn’t offend but in this case, our sensitivity has been put to the test.”
– from a statement to The Jerusalem Post from “Italy’s Jewish community”
We Almost Made An Apology. There’s No Excuse For It.
“We made a terrible, egregious mistake. There’s almost no excuse for it.”
– JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, on his company’s $2 billion loss
Much Better To Put Your Faith In A Government That Would Be Happy To Leave Inuits’ Fate To The Tender Mercy Of Polar Bears
“He’s ill-informed. I found it a bit patronizing and [just] another academic studying us from afar who’s going to make comments about the challenges that we have… [Inuit food security is] about the fights that we have with groups like [the] European Union that want to stop the seal hunt and/or [the] Pew Foundation who wants to put a moratorium on fishing and/or the polar bear activists.”
– Canadian Health Minister Leona Aglukkaq after her meeting with Olivier De Schutter, the UN special rapporteur on the right to food.
Hey! What Did Genre Fiction Ever Do To You?
“This is simply the latest in the long list of science fiction perpetrated on the populace from non-experts posing as authorities and funded by political groups such as Park Foundation and Catskill Mountainkeeper rather than objective scientific societies.”
– Scott Cline, letter to editor of Rochester City Newspaper about hydraulic fracking
“The suggestion that he must be lying is not an argument or a theory based on evidence, but a conviction…science fiction.”
– lawyer Rhodri Davies, on accusations of wrongdoing by her client Rupert
Murdoch
It’s Your Way Or The Highway…Of Heroes…
“There may be some who want to cut and run. But, cutting and running is not your way, it’s not my way, and it’s not the Canadian way.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper on Canada’s role in the Afghanistan war then
“No.”
– Prime Minister Stephen Harper on Canada’s continuing role in the Afghanistan war now
I’m Not A Moroner. I Believe The Secretary Of State Isn’t Pandering To Idiots In His Party – Or, At Least, I Hope He Isn’t.
“I’m not a birther. I believe the president was born in Hawaii – or, at least, I hope he was. But my responsibility as secretary of state is to make sure the ballots in Arizona are correct and that those people whose names are on the ballot have met the qualifications for the office they are seeking.”
– Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett explaining why he is threatening to keep the president off the state ballot in November