“I would like to consider, today, the following question: is it always better to be just than unjust?”
“Professor Plato?”
“Yes, Zoroblaster?”
“Will this be on the exam?”
“Ahem. Is there a final examination?”
“Uhh, I don’t believe there is.”
“How do you know that?”
“You have told us before.”
“Knowing the answer, why do you persist in asking this question?”
“It’s just that, well, you know that your Academy is the most expensive in all of Greece, and my parents, well, they want to be sure that I’ll be getting a good education here, is all.”
“Will the justness of your decisions later in life not prove that your education here was worthy?”
“See, that’s just it. It could be years before those decisions were made, long after I had graduated from the Academy. You would be teaching a whole new generation of students by then – assuming you were still alive. No offense – you are an old man. All old men die. Therefore, you are going to die. Probably soo -“
“Ah, you see, you have learned.”
“Uhh, yeah. So, you’re an old man, and that’s why my parents assumed you would be a good teacher. That, and the long white beard. Anyway, my parents were hoping that they might get a better indication of my intellectual development sooner than after you’ve died, at which point there really would be nothing they could do about it.”
“In what way did they expect to see an indication of your intellectual development?”
“See, this is where the whole exam thing comes in. Students could be periodically assigned things called ‘grades’ based on these exams. That way, we could determine if we were actually learning what we were supposed to be learning.”
“So, you’re arguing that you could determine how well you were learning by substituting grades for the actual learning itself?”
“Yeah. Uhh, maybe…no. What?”
“Suppose you are a businessman, in partnership with another businessman.”
“What is our business?”
“Goat cheese. You, uhh, buy goat milk, churn it and sell it as goat cheese to wealthy diners looking to add a little zing to their boring evening salads. Now -“
“Is that really a viable business?”
“No. There are already too many goat cheese merchants driving the price through the floor. Now -“
“That’s not really a helpful example, then, is it?”
“THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PARABLE IS ABOUT! WILL YOU PLEASE ALLOW ME TO FINISH?”
“Umm…yeah. Okay. Sorry.”
“You are a businessman. You sell…religious amulets, okay? There’s always a market for them! One day, a supplier offers to sell you his wares at a discounted price. Your dilemma is: do you tell your partner and share this windfall with him, or do you not tell him and keep it all for yourself? The purpose of this class in ethics is to help you determine by reason what the morally correct way to act in such a situation would be. But, how would you be able to determine how to act on the basis, not of learning, but of a ‘grade’?”
“Oh, that’s easy. I would compare his grade to mine. If he had a higher grade, I would have to assume that he was smarter than I am, and that he would be likely to find out about the supplier’s offer. In this case, it would be better for the business to tell him up front and share the windfall with him. On the other hand, if he had a lower grade than me, I could assume that he was not as smart, and I wouldn’t tell him and keep the windfall for myself.”
“I will allow that your argument has the appearance of logic -“
“Thank you.”
“However, I do not understand what the correct behaviour in the situation would be.”
“I thought I explained what the correct behaviour would be.”
“The ethically correct behaviour.”
“Oh. That. Yes, well, it’s all fine and well to talk about ‘ethics’ in an academic setting, but, out in the real world, we have more important priorities.”
“Forgive me for asking, Zoroblaster, but, if that is your attitude, why are you here?”
“Oh, well, my dad – you might know him – Senator Zephyrous Maximous? – he thought it would be to my advantage to have a classical education. And, nobody, not even his son, is going to argue with a Senator. That wouldn’t be…ethical.”