Skip to content

Not Tonight, I Have a Headline

Book 14 Cover

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming


“Welland steel maker cuts 84 more jobs”

Toronto Star

“Bay puts faith in its Games plan
Chain cuts 1,000 full-time jobs; will focus on heritage and Olympic Opportunities”


Globe and Mail

“Starbucks to cut 1,000: Analyst


Toronto Star

“Harley-Davidson to chop 1,100 jobs”


National Post

“Tembec to idle more mills, lay off 1,400”


Toronto Star

“Business jet lag deflates demand for Challenger, as 1,360 lose jobs”


– Toronto Star

“Magna to close U.S. plant, cut 1,400 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“Estee Lauder profit falls; to cut 2,000 jobs”


Globe and Mail

“IBM shedding 2,800 American jobs, union says”


Toronto Star

“Macy’s slashing 7,000 jobs, dividend”


Toronto Star

“PANASONIC
Plasma TV maker axes 15,000, shuts 27 plants.”


Toronto Star


…Into People Who Are Broke


“We’re not broke, we’re evolving”

National Post


Okay, I Think I See Where The Problem With The Economy Is…


1 + 1 = ?

National Post


Remember When Education Was About Learning And Stuff?


“Because education is about community”

Toronto Star


I’m More Of A Waterboy Or…Or A 57th Round Draft Pick Who Never Makes It Out Of The Minors


“Are you a punter or a receiver?”

Globe and Mail


You’re Making It Hard For People To Hear MINE


“Keep your rude lectures to yourself”

National Post


It’s Part Of The Educated Meat Community


“Sausage with literary credentials”

Toronto Star


Please, Mister Corcoran, May We Have Some Jobs?


“We have become a nation of beggars”

National Post


By Providing New And Improved Fog, Now With 50% More Obscuranto


“As the fog of recession rolls in, marketing helps avoid the shoals”

Globe and Mail


And, The Liberal Party Is Directly Responsible For Each And Every One Of Them


“AILING SYSTEM
Health-care mistakes blamed for up to 23,000 patient deaths a year”

National Post


It’s Just Restin’…Beautiful Plumage…


Relax, the US consumer Isn’t dead and buried”

Globe and Mail


Good Of Ontario To Expand Its Definition Of “National”


“National securities regulator viable even if only BC , Ontario on board”

Toronto Star


You Can Always Bank On Fear To Get Your Way


“FEARS RISE THAT U.S. WILL SEIZE BIG BANKS”

National Post


Elton John Breathes A Sigh Of Relief


“There’s more to gay music than the Village People”

Toronto Star


For One Thing, It Rarely Fights Back


“Why fruit is worth hunting”

National Post


Clothes Make The Bum


“The economy is in tatters, but you don’t have to look that way
THE NEW, SHARPER YOU”

The National Post


Okay, Look, I Know I’m Getting On In Years, But That’s No Reason To Be Insult – What? Fort? Old Fort? Oh. I…Maybe I Need To Get My Vision Checked…


“The old fort nobody wants”

Toronto Star


Optimism? I Thought It Was Garlic Pickle Potato Chips, But, Okay, Optimism Works Too, I Guess…


“Dark days call for only one thing: optimism”

Globe and Mail


I Know I’ll Be Sleeping Better Tonight Thanks To This Knowledge


“Conrad Black likely safe from losing his peerage
Bid to oust guilty lords may exempt old crimes”

Toronto Star


US President Asks Where The Annoying Buzzing Is Coming From


“Canada talks tough to U.S. on trade”

Toronto Star


Until The Gloves Come Off And Somebody Is Sent To The Hospital With A Concussion, I’m Skeptical


“FIGURE SKATING GETS TOUGH
Skate Canada seeks to rebrand sport by playing up its risks and athleticism”

Globe and Mail


Turns Water Into Beer, Feeds Multitudes With A Single Pretzel


“Jesus visits the Super Bowl”

National Post


Yes, But A Little Maalox And It Should Be Fine


“Is Paris burning?”

Globe and Mail


Can’t The RCMP Do Anything Right?


“HOWIE MANDEL STILL ON THE LOOSE IN CANADA”

National Post


It Was Just Like His Old Life, Too, Except For The Food, Shelter And Personal Hygiene


“When his salary stopped, his new life began”

Globe and Mail


Oh, Wow! Like, I Was Listening To “Ticket To Ride” On The Radio While I Read This Article! I Don’t Need More Proof: There Is A God!


“Raptors provide a ticket to ride”

National Post


Don’t Ask Me – I’m Chicken!


“Which came first: the egg or the gourmet egg?”

Globe and Mail


But You Either Have To Wait Three Days In Line Or Pay An Outrageous Sum To TicketsNow.com To Get It


“Ticketmaster issues apology”

Toronto Star


Leave a Reply